The Attic (1980)

3 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: 13 Steps to TERROR!
Directed by: George Edwards
Written by: Tony Crechales, George Edwards
Actors include: Carrie Snodgress, Ray Milland, Ruth Cox
Genre: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Length: 101 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is an odd tale of erm terror, very psychological and very screwed up but not really "horror" in the typical sense. It's just incredibly depressing to watch and it's a very slow moving film though the ending is worth the sit. Carrie Snodgress is excellent as a poor character that has basically been forced to live at home with her wheelchair bound father. He is extremely cruel to her, but then again most everyone seems to be. She was once engaged but her lover disappeared on their wedding day so she desperately tries to find him even 19 years later. Let's face it, she's a few bricks shy of a load, but you can't help but pity her. Of course things have to come to a head with her father oh and I should mention, she has a pet chimp which is rather surreal. It's a very odd film that will appeal to some, but definitely not for everyone. It's warped at least, that's a good thing right? Oh and I should mention, this has some of the worst music I've ever heard in a movie...ever!

Availability:  On DVD (but OOP) but watch for free here:  http://www.fancast.com/movies/The-Attic/148419/1300321951/The-Attic/videos

Ssssssss (1973) aka SSSSnake

 4.5 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: Terror is ready to strike!
Directed by: Bernard L. Kowalski
Written by: Hal Dresner, Daniel C. Striepeke
Actors include: Strother Martin, Dirk Benedict, Heather Menzies
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Length: 99 minutes

Banned: Finland
Country: USA

Review:
Surprisingly effective and chilling low budget snake film. I'd been recommended this from a co-worker named Dean and since he'd been right about the last few he recommended we gave this a try. Firstly if you are afraid of snakes (I'm somewhat) this is hard to watch, they use real deadly snakes in this and often. It's the kind of intense feeling one gets from watching the Crocodile Hunter or something watching these poor actors have to act around this horribly poisonous creatures. The story is about a scientist who gets a student to help him in his snake lab. He starts injecting him with a serum to prevent death from snake bites yet of course that wasn't the truth at all! The effects were shockingly good and the story was not only disturbing and creepy but consistently entertaining. I had no idea this would be so good, especially from the title and the fact that nobody else seems to mention this one. Oh and the only bad thing about this was poor Heather Menzies outfits, awful mullet hair and silly glasses, distractingly bad.

Availability:  On DVD

Night Warning (1983) aka Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker aka Momma's Boy aka Nightmare Maker aka The Evil Protege aka Thrilled to Death

4.5 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: She was lonely. He was all she had. No-one would take him from her - and live...
Directed by: William Asher
Written by: Stephen F. Breimer, Boon Collins
Actors include: Jimmy McNichol, Susan Tyrrell, Bo Svenson
Genre: Horror
Length: 96 minutes
Banned: Iceland
Country: USA

Review:
Fantastic video nasty, I mean this one was pretty much awesome right away as the movie starts out with one of the best car crashes I've ever seen. Then we flash ahead to many years later, the couple who died in the crash had a son and we catch up with his life. He's living with his really odd Aunt who seems to like him an awful lot, she doesn't even want him to leave for college! The kid seems to be going through some struggles, as a star athlete his coach was found out to be a homosexual so everyone is accusing him of being gay...even the cops! Why are the cops involved? Well his psycho aunt "accidentally" killed a television repair man and he somewhat witnessed the accident. This film has a great sense of humor and just when you hope something bad will happen it will...it's so rewarding! Susan Tyrell gives one of the best performances of a looney that I've ever seen...seriously over-the-top awesome in every way. As far as blood and guts go, it's got some but I wouldn't say it's maybe as violent as some of the other video nasties, subject matter however is well a bit shocking. This is great as a movie, only the limp ending makes this a little less fantastic, but this is a must see for sure.

Availability:  Never on DVD as far as I understand

Eaten Alive (1977) aka Death Trap

 3 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: He's out there and he's got murder on his mind!
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Written by: Kim Henkel, Alvin L. Fast
Actors include: Neville Brand, Mel Ferrer, Marilyn Burns
Genre: Horror
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
I truly expected a heck of a lot more, I mean this is the Tobe Hooper film that follows The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. In fact this one even has Marilyn Burns in it, and an early appearance from Robert Englund. The idea is that a scummy jerk of a hotel owner has a crocodile in the backyard and he feeds it...human flesh! Mr. owner dude seems to enjoy stabbing at people with a pitchfork (in cutaway death style), in fact streams of ketchup are pretty much all you'll get to see aside from the odd flash of a rubber croc. It's extremely low budget though it works for TCM here it only makes this even more dull. See what is awesome about TCM is that it feels real, this feels anything but. The folks who come to stay at this hotel are a whore in a wig, a couple (Burns in a bad wig and weirdo husband) with a kid (who was Alicia in Little House on the Prairie), then later the sister and father of whore in wig. I'm not sure why all the cheap wigs but "why" is a big problem with the entire movie. See when the couple with the small girl show up, they are to use the restroom. While waiting their dog is eaten by a croc, instead of leaving (which is the only response that makes sense) they take a room? That is only one of my many problems with this one. Englund is rather funny as a redneck to likes anal sex, but he's far from enough to save this dull picture. If nothing more it's slightly better than Big Alligator River, but it's no Alligator.

Availability:  On DVD

Eyes of Laura Mars (1978)

 3.5 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Irvin Kershner
Written by: John Carpenter, David Zelag Goodman
Actors include: Faye Dunaway, Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Dourif

Genre: Horror, Thriller

Length: 104 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
At first I was really excited about this, I mean Faye Dunaway as a photographer who takes pictures of violence and sex who gets wound up in a murder mystery. This couldn't sound more like an American giallo if it tried, and yes it actually is one. It starts out clever and colorful like a Brian De Palma thriller but soon you know this is nowhere near as good for the flashy momentum it gained disappears entirely. Soon you are left with a boring talky with fuzzy glimpses of the murder scenes (an eye stabber...how Italian) that Faye seems to have. She suffers from violent and sexy visions that she replicates in her work so of course she is moved to the suspect list. It's really a whodunnit with crimes you never get to see clearly and it's so far from engaging that the decent ending this does have was too little too late. It does show promise in many ways, it's beautifully filmed and such but in the end, it's really just about average.

Availability:  On DVD

Terror in the Aisles (1984)

3 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: If you can stand more than 100 jolts of 100% pure terror, then you might be ready for 'Terror in the Aisles'.
Directed by: Andrew J. Kuehn
Written by: Margaret Doppelt
Actors include: Donald Pleasence, Nancy Allen
Genre: Documentary, Horror, Thriller
Length: 84 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Well this was interesting and useless all in the same sentence. See it was nothing more than random clips (usually the key scenes from films) edited together with the occasional voiceover (from Nancy Allen and Donald Pleasance. It ruins many a film if you can identify the film to begin with that is, in my case I'd seen most of them but the odd one I hadn't I'll have to wait a while (until I forget) to watch. The films compiled are all from the mid-'80s and under, mainly focusing on the '70s and early '80s I'd say. Tons of clips of Halloween, Jaws and The Shining with various other popular favorites, some interview footage of Alfred Hitchcock too. It's nice that they clipped many Brian De Palma films and other thrillers too so it wasn't entirely horrorcentric. It's just a shame you learn absolutely nothing as no useful information is given to the viewer. They'll talk about the feelings some experience when watching films which doesn't need to be explained and basically not much else. Seriously disappointing though some awesome clips are within but it's a waste of time...watch the movies instead!

Availability:  Not on DVD ever as far as I know

Link (1986)

 4 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: An experiment in terror!
Directed by: Richard Franklin
Written by: Lee David Zlotoff, Tom Ackermann
Actors include: Elisabeth Shue, Terence Stamp, Steven Pinner
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 103 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Well monkey related horror and thrillers are not all that common, in fact I think the only one I have to compare this to that I've seen is Monkey Shines. I quite liked it, but I think this one is a little more fast paced and exciting! The idea is that a scientist/teacher has two chimps and an orangutan named Link. Link wears butler clothes and acts as a butler, he's also the "master of fire" as he lights matches and smokes cigars. The scientist takes on a young Elisabeth Shue as an assistant before he disappears leaving her their with the monkeys. Once she finds one of the chimpanzee's dead, Link microwaves the phone and she learns she can't escape because of vicious dogs so she's trapped! It's a pretty cool house on the water that this takes place in so the visuals are quite nice, the music is well pretty bad, very '80s in many ways. Still it's pretty cool to watch a woman duel with an out of control monkey! Interesting premise, good cast and loads of fun and cute monkey behavior (along with the evil). What's not to enjoy with this little known treat?

Availability:  On DVD

Death Walks On High Heels (1971) aka La Morte Cammina conI tacchi Alti aka La muerte camina con tacon alto

3.5 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Luciano Ercoli
Written by: Ernesto Gastaldi
Actors include: Frank Wolff, Nieves Navarro, Simon Andreu
Genre: Horror, Giallo, Mystery, Thriller
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Italy/Spain

Review:
Although by most people's account, Luciano Ercoli's Death Walks at Midnight isn't as good as this one, but I honestly prefer Midnight. This one is rather stylish and has some great twists (though I'm definitely convinced Brian De Palma has seen this) but it's quite talky and slow in the middle. While Midnight was actually rather tasteful in some ways this more than made up for it with near continual nudity from Edwige Fenech lookalike Nieves Navarro. The story is about a jewel heist, see a lot of the film happens offscreen, so we know that Nieves' Dad was a jewel heister and some mean person is coming after her. They don't seem to believe she knows nothing of the whereabouts of many diamonds, and so we watch her and the Police try to sort out who did what to whom of course. It's not all that bloody but a few good horror moments are to be had, the story is decent enough but it definitely could have used a little tightening. At least it's colorful, well shot and plenty of randomly weird scenes and strange wigs (though none compare to the wind chime wig of Midnight). Interesting, but not a favorite of mine...still giallo fans will want to see!

Availability:  On DVD

The Conversation (1974)

 5 / 5 Aug '09
Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola
Written by: Francis Ford Coppola
Actors include: Gene Hackman, Harrison Ford, John Cazale
Genre: Thriller, Crime
Length: 113 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Since I loved Blow Out it only made sense to see one of the thrillers that it borrowed the most from. This is one heck of a gripping film, though for the first bit one can't even figure out what mystery you are trying to solve it's still captivating. Gene Hackman is wonderful as part of one of the leading personal surveillance experts in the field. He's hired to record a conversation between a couple that is happening in Times Square during a busy lunch hour. When he talks to the man who ordered the surveillance (Harrison Ford) he figures out awful fast that more could be at stake then he thought. See he had to leave his last city because something went wrong in a surveillance job and now he is obsessed with the same thing not happening. The character development is fantastic here, the playing of the tape and the way they laid the story out to us was genius. I liked that it didn't necessarily play out in a predictable manner either! One fantastically original and intriguing thriller that just about everyone should love.

Availability:  On DVD

Centipede Horror (1984) aka Wu Gong Zhou aka Centipede Curse aka Centipede Sorcerer aka Ng Gung Jau

2.5 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Keith Li
Written by: Keith Li
Actors include: Hussein Abu Hassan, Chu-kwong Chan, F.C. Chan
Genre: Horror
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Possibly?
Country: Hong Kong

Review:
This is a strange one that usually gets mentioned along side 人蛇大戰 [Calamity of Snakes], as both have cruelty to animals and both are relatively unknown '80s "monster" films from Hong Kong. This one hilariously deals with the menacing centipede...erm yeah. It's got some plot points that are rather muddled and well confusing regarding an evil wizard of sorts that has something to do with a centipede ritual I believe. The big problem was that the subtitles were nearly impossible to read...all white no outline and everyone in the movie was wearing white (mostly) and all the background was white (mostly) so reading what was going on was difficult at best. I also couldn't help but notice that if you made a drinking game of taking a shot each time a character says "SE Asia" you'd be dead. I've never heard that phrase so many times in my life...shocking! Mostly the movie is dull and talky with not much going on but the end is genuinely creepy and disturbing and is definitely the best part (dead chicken bones dancing?). I'll take 人蛇大戰 [Calamity of Snakes] over this one, but this isn't without it's own merrits in a gross out kind of way I suppose.

Availability:  On DVD

Big Alligator River (1979) aka Il Fiume del Grande Caimano aka Alligators aka Great Alligator River aka The Big Caimano River aka The Great Alligator

 2 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Sergio Martino
Written by: George Eastman, Cesare Frugoni
Actors include: Barbara Bach, Claudio Cassinelli, Mel Ferrer
Genre: Horror, Adventure
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Italy

Review:
Well...it's pretty to look at (thanks Sergio Martino) except for the ridiculous "attack" sequences, at least the scenery is nice! The plot is about a tourist resort in Africa that Barbara Bach and friends have come to visit for a modelling shoot. While they are partying it up the natives are getting eatten by a *cough* giant alligator. The natives blame the tourists and well things get less friendly from there. They don't even try with the big alligator, seriously bad, you can see that they are using some sort of alligator bone I think for the jaw, but mainly cutaway seens and orange water is what you'll be treated too. The thing is that it's so excrusiatingly boring that by the end when something does happen I'd already given up and didn't care. If you want to see an alligator movie, Alligator (1980) should be much better crunch for your rubber alligator buck!

Availability:  On DVD

Death Walks At Midnight (1972) aka La Morte Accarezza A Mezzanotte aka Death Caresses at Midnight aka Le Muerte Acaricia a Medianoche

 4 / 5 Aug '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Luciano Ercoli
Written by: Sergio Corbucci, Ernesto Gastaldi
Actors include: Nieves Navarro, Simon Andreu, Pietro Martellanza
Genre: Horror, Thriller, Mystery
Length: 103 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Italy/Spain

Review:
I actually really liked the style to this one, great groovy soundtrack, great weapon (a spiked glove), even good acting (seriously Nieves Navarro is a really good actress). It's also got plenty of absurdities typical to the giallo genre which make it a load of fun to watch, in fact it probably has one of the better senses of humor for this style. The only thing lacking is the wrap up of the mystery, I get it but some motivations are a bit fuzzy and it could have been a little neater. The story is about a beautiful fashion model Nieves Navarro who does a fashion shoot in her apartment but it seems that she's agreed to take some sort of psychedelic drug me thinks. She sees a murder (with the neato glove thing) then has to try to figure out what's going on without being killed herself. This is filled with classic material and it was really a worthwhile flick and probably one of the more unique gialli films. Very fun, I can't wait to see more from Luciano Ercoli, his "Death Walks" box set so far was a great value, especially since it has music from the soundtracks of most of his films.

Availability:  On DVD