Dracula's Dog (1978) aka Zoltan, Hound of Dracula aka Zoltan il Cane di Dracula aka Dracula contro Zombi

 3 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: Man's best friend is now man's worst fiend
Directed by: Albert Band
Written by: Frank Ray Perilli
Actors include: Michael Pataki, Jan Shutan, Libby Chase
Genre: Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA/Italy

Review:
Now this is definitely a cheaply made film that delivers exactly what it promises. An angry dog that belonged to Dracula who is sprung from a grave after a stake is removed from it's heart. From there it removes the stake from the servant of Dracula who comes to life also. They find out that the only living descendent of Dracula is nearby, so they go and bother him. Of course he's a family man with a dog of his own and now he has to defend his family and himself from this vampiric dog. It's silly, never scary (shining flashlights into a dog's eyes doesn't exactly freak me out), the costuming department is well less than skilled and it gets pretty dull pretty fast. They try with a few scenes of gore, but nothing too exciting. I'd say it's slightly better than Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell which came out around the same time with similar result. This one tried a bit harder and was more violent, but the other was more laughable.

Availability:  On DVD

A Night to Dismember (1983)

1.5 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Doris Wishman
Written by: Judy J. Kushner
Actors include: Samantha Fox, Diane Cummins, Saul Meth
Genre: Horror
Length: 69 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Well, I've actually seen the worst made movie ever, and A Night to Dismember be thy name. The plot is nothing more but a hodge podge of roughly clipped together bloody and ridiculously fake looking killings. An example a trick knife for example can look somewhat real if simply thrust into a victim, but when pulled back and forth and one can see the knife retracting...it's pretty darned laughable. Actually this movie works wonderfully as a comedy, the first 30 minutes (and it's only 69 minutes long) were hysterical, I was laughing with tears in my eyes. See the film is so shoddily put together it's mainly strewn together using ridiculous narration, ie "She was dead on the floor, then her sister fell on an axe, she's now dead" then cut to the next scene. Doris Wishman is the entity behind this project, she directed, produced, edited and so on this entire film. Thing is, she stinks at editing, parts of the ends of sentences are cut off, some of the scenes are shown in reverse or a few times by mistake. There are clearly pieces of film entirely missing with no explanation, the sound has sometimes two songs at once, or one warping and cutting in and out...it's really quite something. Even more funny is that Doris was around 70 years old when she directed this...it's filled with nothing but cheap killing, tits and sleaze. After the first half the novelty wore off and I was really bored (with the exception of a few more silly killings), this really is bad in every possible way. I've heard Doris referred to as the female Edward D. Wood, Jr. and I wouldn't give her that much credit. This could be huge laughs with some booze at a party as it seriously was so bad it was funny but wow...I cannot believe this movie even exists nor can I imagine a film being any worse.

Availability:  On DVD

What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?(1969)

 4 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: A horrific tale...with grave consequences!
Directed by: Lee H. Katzin
Written by: Theodore Apstein, Ursula Curtiss
Actors include: Geraldine Page, Ruth Gordon, Rosemary Forsyth
Genre: Horror, Comedy, Thriller, Crime, Mystery
Length: 101 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Now this was a cute little black comedy/thriller that surprisingly doesn't get mentioned very often. Geraldine Page was great as the widow who finds out that she is no longer rich and that her husband was worth nothing when he died. She can't bear the thought of living without money so she devises a plan. Kill the servants and steal their money, what a fantastic idea (plus corpses make the trees grow quite nicely). When she takes in Ruth Gordon after finding out she has a tidy sum saved she meets her match as she does a little sleuthing herself. It's not very heavy handled at all which I like, it's not the sort of film that would have one falling over with laughter but definitely a few snickers are in order. It's even got some creepy moments when you just know something terrible is going to happen. It builds up a fair bit of tension, it entertains, amuses and I quite enjoyed this flick from beginning to end.

Availability:  On DVD

The Fifth Cord (1971) aka Giornata nera per l'ariete aka Evil Fingers

 3.5 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Luigi Bazzoni
Written by: Luigi Bazzoni, David McDonald Devine
Actors include: Franco Nero, Silvia Monti, Wolfgang Preiss
Genre: Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Italy

Review:
This is one giallo that fits the bill to a tee, the multiple winding staircases, the J&B, the beautiful locations for shooting, twists in the plot and so on. It's actually quite well made surprisingly considering this is one of the lesser known ones. It features Franco Nero in the lead as an alcoholic reporter. There is a murderer going around cutting the finger off a glove for each killing (guess how many are planned!). The problem is the reporter never has an alibi and he blacks himself out drunk on a nightly basis so he's not even sure that he's innocent. There are many who could be guilty though and between the Police and Franco, someone will get to the bottom of this! The murders are quite bloodless for the most part, and this one is more story driven. At least most of the "talky" scenes take place in some magnificent location so we can always stare off into that when it gets a little dull. The mystery is well let's just say I wouldn't bother trying to solve it if I were you, it's an interesting conclusion but we definitely don't have enough facts and it could drive a person mad trying, just hang on and wait to be filled in. An odd entry into the genre, but it's at least lovely to watch, and Nero is a treat!

Availability:  On DVD

The Babysitter (1980)

2.5 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Peter Medak
Written by: Jennifer Miller
Actors include: Patty Duke, William Shatner, Quinn Cummings
Genre: Thriller, Drama
Length: 96 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
I'd read somewhere that this was basically the original version of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, which I quite liked so I was intrigued. Now this fable is made-for-tv, and stars Patty Duke and William Shatner as parents who don't have time for their daughter, and they just moved so they don't really know anybody. We can tell something is up when a young lady starts befriending their daughter, she makes up enough lies to get herself invited on as Nanny and house cleaner. It's seriously very much the same as The Hand That Rocks the Cradle in nearly every way except this is missing the excitment factor, the budget and the killing. It managed to create creepy moods and it stayed interesting to watch most of the time because it was hard to tell what the babysitter's ultimate goal was in places. It was a promising idea and I'm sure whomever made The Hand That Rocks the Cradle watched this, but other than that there isn't much to say here. Not one to try to see, but if you really like evil caretakers it's worth a gander, just don't get your hopes up too high.

Availability:  Never on DVD as far as I know
Part 1:  http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RQEGGU36
Part 2:  http://www.megaupload.com/?d=USVG5X7S
Part 3:  http://www.megaupload.com/?d=32FY3AII
*as far as I know this is unavailable everywhere, if you are the owner of the copyright and wish this to be removed, I will do so immediately thanks & enjoy!

Obsession (1976)

4 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: The love story that will scare the life out of you
Directed by: Brian De Palma
Written by: Brian De Palma
Actors include: Cliff Robertson, Genevieve Bujold, John Lithgow
Genre: Thriller, Mystery
Length: 98 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
I can now say that I've seen most of Brian De Palma's thrillers that this is probably the least exciting one, still it's pretty darned decent. The story is about a man who's destroyed when his wife and daughter are kidnapped, and then the rescue attempt goes wrong and they are both pronounced dead. From there he's desperately trying to get his life back which includes meeting a woman who resembles his wife very heavily. What I wasn't anticipating was the slowness of the romantic segment in the middle, the story picks up big time afterwards, but the middle was a bit trying. At least even during the slow parts this had my attention as I had to know what was going on (you can tell something isn't quite right). It's not the most intense thriller, but a satisfying one, even if the ending was a missed opportunity. Still pretty cool and worthwhile, especially considering it's one of his least known.

Availability:  On DVD

Killer's Delight (1978) aka The Sports Killer aka The Dark Ride

2.5 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: A small town. Five girls in one week. It's been fun
Directed by: Jeremy Hoenack
Written by: Marayln Thoma
Actors include: Joe Ivy, John Karlen, James Luisi
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Now this was a gamble, see Code Red and Shriek Show co-released this one, and since I purchase most of what either company releases I was interested in this. Even more intriguing was the fact that it currently only has 35 votes on the IMDB, that's a pretty unheard of movie! To make this sound even more appealing also, this is one of the first films based around Ted Bundy so that got my attention too. At first when I started watching it I thought the picture quality was quite nice, it looked as though first time director Jeremy Hoenack did a relatively nice job shooting the film. The acting was so incredibly flat and dead behind the eyes that the story was dull, I really struggled to make it to the end of the movie despite a semi-promising beginning. Basically we watch a few girls get kidnapped, then they turn up naked and dead (not graphically, and the violence is most often not shown, so it's not all that satisfying on a horror level). There are no thrills, no chills, only a slight surprise and a Police officer who resembles John Saxon but isn't. I've certainly seen worse, but the over abundance of sound effects (the guy who made this became a huge sound effect dude) it really sounded like it was too carried away and often that was laugh inducing, but that's about it. Not something to seek out but at least it looks somewhat professional and some good ideas were here.

Availability:  On DVD

Arlington Road (1999)

 3.5 / 5
Tagline: Fear Thy Neighbor
Directed by: Mark Pellington
Written by: Ehren Kruger
Actors include: Jeff Bridges, Tim Robbins, Joan Cusack
Genre: Thriller, Mystery, Drama
Length: 117 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Always make sure who know who your neighbors are... When Michael Faraday (Jeff Bridges) catches his neighbor (Tim Robbins) in a lie he starts investigating. See Michael's job is as a professor who teaches classes on terrorism so he's ultra suspicious, but does he have any right to be? Once his son starts spending more and more time next door things start to get a little uneasy and dangerous. There are a few good chase scenes and there is definitely some excitement to be had with this one. It just seems like with the ideas they have here they could have made this a little less predictable. Still, you could do much worse, this one at least holds attention.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Armageddon (1998)

3 / 5
Tagline: It's Closer Than You Think.
Directed by: Michael Bay
Written by: Jonathan Hensleigh, J.J. Abrams
Actors include: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck
Genre: Sci-Fi, Action
Length: 150 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Oh now, it's not that bad...it has a beginning, an end, a budget, and a cast you've probably heard of. Then again it's not that good either...irritating soundtrack, cliche city, bad love story, could never even remotely happen and so on. The plot is about a huge asteroid that is headed for the earth and everyone will die if it isn't stopped. The government decides the best course of action is to get pro drillers (erm yeah) to go up there and drill the problem. At least it isn't taking itself too seriously, and the little attempts at giving the drillers personalities was nice. In order to fix this you really would need a new plot, get rid of Ben Affleck and get a new director...but as is it's not that bad. Suspend belief and be remotely entertained.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Air Force One (1997)

3.5 / 5
Tagline: Harrison Ford is the President of the United States.
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Written by: Andrew W. Marlowe
Actors include: Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close
Genre: Thriller, Action, Drama
Length: 124 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA/Germany

Review:
Admit it...you've always wondered what would happen if Harrison Ford were the President, haven't you! Well this pretty much answers that question, he'd kick butt and not negotiate with terrorists. In this case the President and his family are on Air Force One (how did you guess) when suddenly they find out that some of the crew are actually evil Russian hi-jackers. They vow to kill a hostage every half hour until their demands are met but as I mentioned earlier Mr. President is only interested in negotiating with his fist! It's pretty straightforward and predictable, and let's face it, it's not earth shatteringly unique. Still it delivers exactly what one might expect and it has some exciting moments...all in all not a bad little thriller.

Availability:  On DVD

8MM (1999)

 4 / 5
Tagline: You can't prepare for where the truth will take you.
Directed by: Joel Shumacher
Written by: Andrew Kevin Walker
Actors include: Nicholas Cage, Joaquin Phoenix, James Gandolfini
Genre: Thriller
Length: 123 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA/Germany

Review:
Ahhh the snuff film thriller, with...Nicolas Cage already that should be enough information for you to know if you are interested or not. I tend to find Cage's overacting and ridiculousness quite funny and I've always been intrigued by the idea of snuff films actually existing (no I've never seen one). In this one Cage is a private dick who is on a mission to find a girl who appears in some snuff video to prove if it's real or not (once an old man croaks and his wife finds the film). Amusingly Cage makes a porn store clerk friend (Joaquin Phoenix) who helps him on their dangerous trek to find out who made the tape. It's relatively exciting, particularly the climax where a skipping record is actually seriously freaky! It's better than you might think it is, but if you want to learn more about the existence of snuff films from this, you are barking up the wrong tree.

Availability:  On DVD

Perversion Story (1969) aka Una Sull'altra aka One on Top of the Other aka Una Historia Pervera

 4 / 5 Jul '09
Tagline: What Is The Most Incredible Thing A Woman Ever Did For $1,000,000?
Directed by: Lucio Fulci
Written by: Lucio Fulci
Actors include: Jean Sorel, Marisa Mell, Elsa Martinelli
Genre: Thriller, Drama
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Italy/France/Spain

Review:
While not my favorite Lucio Fulci flick or even one of my favorite giallo films, this was still rather entertaining. The plot revolves around man who hires a nurse for his Wife, then she ends up dead. After he buries her he notices a stripper who looks remarkably like his dead wife, only she's a blond with green eyes. Things start going horribly wrong regarding the death of his wife as suspicions have landed upon him. This flick is not gory, nor is it bloody nor does much in the way of death happen (though there is a corpse or two). The story at least winds together nicely in the end and it's pretty easy to follow. The sets are rather groovy and oddly this one takes place in San Francisco so the scenery is nice (though the jerky airplane shots were a little too frequent). There is a load of boobage in this, so if you like to look at attractive naked girls, that should be an added bonus for ya. Probably not something I'll rush out to watch again right away but an interesting addition to the land of giallo, and something yet again entirely different from the multi-talented Lenzi. Oh and for the record, I'm not quite sure what's so perverse about this 'un, they could have come up with a better title me thinks.

Availability:  On DVD