Sunday, January 31, 2010

Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Episode #1: "Revenge"
4 / 5
Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock
Actors include: Vera Miles, Ralph Meeker, Frances Bavier

A married couple move into a trailer park in California for some r&r. After the Wife is assaulted when left home alone she suffers a nervous breakdown. She vows she'd recognize her attacker, so imagine her husband's shock when she's able to point him out some time later. It's a rather cute tale, sure you can see what's coming but it doesn't really matter because it's a pretty well wrapped up little tale. A fun start to a great series and a definite should see episode no doubt.

Availability:  On DVD

A Cat In The Brain (1990) aka Nightmare Concert aka Un Gatto Nel Cervello

2 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lucio Fulci
Written by: John Fitzsimmons, Lucio Fulci
Actors include: Lucio Fulci, David L. Thompson, Jeoffrey Kennedy
Genre: Horror
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: UK, Germany




Review:
This definitely did not work for me and I do generally enjoy Fulci! It's starring Fulci as himself, he's starting to go nuts from seeing scenes from his movie in front of him. Example, someone walking down the street who looks normal might be covered in blood to him. This really is filled with scenes of random violence, and I appreciate the attempt to poke fun at his career (what with the eyeballs) and several other little touches. The thing is, there isn't much of a story here at all. People are getting murdered in between insane hallucinations but it's clearly explained to us who is doing the killing and with what intent. The concept really does sound better than it ends up being as there is no element of surprise and the random violence is just that. It's like it's taken out of context therefore it's not very engaging at all. It's odd to have gotten to see Fulci act, and it's an easy to understand story...just very pointless I guess. I thought this might have been quite an experience but instead it was more of a poorly made specticle, I wish this had been more than it was.
 
Availability:  On DVD

Targets (1968)

4.5 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: TARGETS are people...and you could be one of them!
Directed by: Peter Bogdanovich
Written by: Peter Bogdanovich, Polly Platt
Actors include: Boris Karloff, Tim O'Kelly, Arthur Peterson
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
I definitely liked this a whole bunch, even though parts of it seemed unimportant...the great moments more than made up for any lulls. Boris Karloff plays aging horror star (what a stretch) Byron Orlok who is working on retiring because he feels he's irrelevant. Also we have a story with a fellow named Bobby Thompson (who looks like a cross between Bobby Kennedy & Matt Damon) who seems very square, has a very nice family yet something is very clearly wrong with him. He gleefully shoots and collects guns...and rounds of ammo and gets weirder and weirder. He snaps, goes on a huge massacre spree that winds up at the drive-in where Byron is showing one of his films. It's actually a very cold and evil feeling picture, I can't help but wonder if it helped inspire any of the shooting tragedies that followed in real life unfortunately. This is one dark and strange film, the tension is great as one can tell something bad is about to happen for much of the movie. I'm surprised they got away with this sort of thing back in '68 but heck I'm glad they did. Something that you've really got to see, shocking and disturbing probably Karloff's best late film that I've seen.
 
Availability:  On DVD

Monday, January 18, 2010

The House Of Usher (1960) aka The Fall Of The House Of Usher

3.5 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: Edgar Allan Poe's overwhelming tale of EVIL & TORMENT
Directed by: Roger Corman
Written by: Richard Matheson, Edgar Allan Poe
Actors include: Vincent Price, Mark Damon, Myrna Fahey
Genre: Horror, Drama, Romance
Length: 75 minutes
Banned: Norway





Review:
Though I did like this I didn't think it was as amazing as it could have been. Honestly I knew nothing of this story going into watching this, and this is the first version of the story I've seen. It's got atmosphere down pat as it's very much in the style of so many Hammer films which is a good thing. Also who can resist Vincent Price? He plays a rather strange blonde fellow who lives in a creepy castle with his Sister Madeline. After a Suitor named Phillip comes round for Madeline he's soon warned that she cannot leave the house. It seems their is some sort of family curse that causes family members to die when they consider leaving. As soon as Madeline makes up her mind to try to leave with Phillip bad things start happening, it's like the house is trying to kill them! Something really strange is going on there and the story is an amusing little one really. It is surprising, it's very gothic feeling and it's entertaining, it just wasn't one of my favorites is all.

Availability:  On DVD

And Soon The Darkness (1970)

4.5 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Robert Fuest
Written by: Brian Clemens, Terry Nation
Actors include: Pamela Franklin, Michele Dotrice, Sandor Eles
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Length: 99 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
This is one film that actually gave me the creeps, it felt real and they did a perfect job of giving off that vibe of alienation and horror. The story is about two young British girls (Jane & Cathy) bicycling through the back areas of France neither of which are fluent in French. After the girls get in a squabble Jane takes off and leaves Cathy suntanning out in the woods. She decides to sit at a roadside cafe and wait until Cathy catches up. After waiting quite a while she decides to bike back to try to find her friend, but she isn't there. Only a few random items are left as a reminder that they were ever there. A ways back a Fellow was watching them, could he have taken Cathy? Jane will stop at nothing to find out, and it's one frightening ride to say the least. I've heard some complain that many of the characters speak in French (untranslated) but the thing is, that's how the girls would have felt. I can only pick out a word or two of French but it was enough to know that something was terribly wrong. I was surprised just how horrific this one actually was, though it is rather slow moving at first (but not in a bad way, it just builds into a doomy tense situation). Recommended highly, this was a real treasure, thanks to Infofreak for recommending this one to me, it's frightening!

Availability:  On DVD but OOP

Friday, January 15, 2010

A Taste Of Evil (1971)

3 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: John Llewellyn Moxey
Written by: Jimmy Sangster
Actors include: Barbara Stanwyck, Roddy McDowall, Barbara Parkins
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Length: 73 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
Considering this was a '70s made-for-tv movie that was written by Jimmy Sangster and produced by Aaron Spelling productions I thought this would be a winner! It's not, in fact it's a rehash of so many films seen previously and this particular retelling is very dry. It's about a young girl who is raped, then put in an asylum because she's in a catatonic state and has sever trauma from the accident. We catch up with her as she's coming home to stay, though she doesn't seem particularly well. See she keeps seeing her Stepfather dead in various places which is tormenting her to say the least. She also has an over-the-top nutty Mother (Barbara Stanwyck) does provide some campy laughter but not a heck of a lot else. I don't want to give more away in case you do want to watch this but let's just say I was underwhelmed. It did have a tidy conclusion and it made clear sense at least!

Availability:  Currently unavailable anywhere

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Blood Spattered Bride (1972) aka La Novia Ensangrentada

3.5 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: The revenge of a young bride on her wedding night!
Directed by: Vicente Aranda
Written by: Vincente Aranda, Sheridan Le Fanu
Actors include: Simon Andreu, Maribel Martin, Alexandra Bastedo
Genre: Horror
Length: 101 minutes
Banned: Nope







Review:
This was an unusual ghostly vampire picture that seems to break many rules. In some ways it's quite similar to Hammer's story of The Vampire Lovers but there is a good reason for this. They are both based upon the story "Carmilla" though stylistically the two are quite different. This Spanish take (although no Spanish language edition likely exists according to the box) is rather dream-like and surreal. Very much in the style of erotic Eurosleaze although the artistic touchs make it somehow slightly tasteful I suppose. A young couple to be wed shacks up at his family's home only something strange is going on there. The portraits of the Females in the family have been placed in the basement and one particular painting has the face cut out of it. The bride-to-be has visions of this blond woman and beings having violent fantasies. The girl seems to be some sort of masochist as her husband-to-be is rather pointlessly cruel to her. There is a fair bit of nudity here and even lesbianism as the blond woman appears in reality things get more complicated. Considering that this is such a hybrid of styles it does have some gruesome blood and the story is interesting (but slow). It should satisfy most though one does have to be rather patient and willing to accept the dream-like state of everything. It's an unusual take on the vampire theme but I think it could have been edited down to be quite great instead of rather good. Thanks to Infofreak for this recommendation!

Availability:  On DVD

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

L'abime Des Morts Vivants (1981) aka Oasis of the Zombies aka Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies aka Le Tresor Des Morts Vivants aka The Oasis of the Living Dead aka The Treasure of the Living Dead

1.5 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jesus Franco
Written by: Jesus Franco
Actors include: Manuel Gelin, France Lomay, Jeff Montgomery
Genre: Horror, War
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Canada




Review:
When I think about the most boring zombie movie I've ever seen is this instantly pops into my head. Nothing happens for the longest time but dry dialog and African desert. See apparently some treasure is buried there from WW2 by the German army and some folks are trying to find it. Most people would fall asleep by the time they actually did find the zombies, and when they do show up they barely do anything. Truly one of those films I think should be avoided by everyone, even bad movie buffs will be bored to tears! Hard to believe that a director like Jesús Franco who is notoriously sleazy could be responsible for something so lifeless, but it's true!

Availability:  On DVD

The Shout (1978)

4 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: A film of intense perversity - the madness of the mind.
Directed by: Jerzy Skolimowski
Written by: Robert Graves, Michael Austin
Actors include: Alan Bates, Susannah York, John Hurt
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Drama
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
Imagine if Robert Altman directed What About Bob?, only instead of a pesty Bill Murray insert some sort of intense demon like fellow who practices Aborigine magic. Like an Altman film this has absolutely beautiful scenery amidst the unusual psychological sort of horror. The evil fellow shows up in the lives of married couple Anthony (William Hurt) and Rachel (Susannah York) Fielding. Anthony plays the organ for church services and is obsessed with recording sound effects. Rachel is the devoted wife who seems drawn to this evil guy (or rather possessed by). When this new evil pest offers to show him a sound effect he'll never forget things are never the same. It really kept me guessing and the whole mood of the film is very uneasy, which I did like and the style was quite something too. I guess I wish it had a touch more clarity as id did leave several questions in my head anyhow. Still one of the more creative and strange thrillers one is likely to come across, definitely interesting. Thanks to cosmicnoiree for recommending it to me!

Availability:  On DVD in PAL format only

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Centerfold Girls (1974)

3.5 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: The most beautiful girls in the world ... some are for loving ... some are for killing!
Directed by: John Peyser
Written by: Arthur Marks, Bob Peete
Actors include: Jamie Lyn Bauer, Aldo Ray, Dennis Olivieri
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Iceland




Review:
Hmm this was a hard one to rate because stylistically it's very unusual exploitation. It's sort of a grouping of stories that are unrelated only tied together by the fact the girls are to be murdered by a calendar killer. We know who our killer is and why he's killing right away (so I'm not spoiling anything). He's angry because these Women posed for a nudie magazine, so he claims he wants to help them, then kills the heck out of them. The amusing bit is that we follow around the girls mostly, the first one takes up much of the movie and well let's just say she was doomed. Nurse Jackie is going to apply for a job so she decides to stay at her Aunt's house with a Girl she picked up hitchhiking. Little did she know that the Girl has some seriously evil friends who are about to show up. There are others of course, and a bunch of nudity if that be your thing. It's a very sleazy and mean spirited flick but I kind of like that about it, that and the unusual way this film folds out. I was sort of irritated at first (you'll see what I mean) but really when I think about it, quite intriguing. Something to see if you like sleaze but don't expect a masterpiece.

Availability:  On DVD

Silver Bullet (1985) aka Stephen King's Silver Bullet

2.5 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: It started in May in a small town and every month after that whenever the moon is full... It came back.
Directed by: Daniel Attias
Written by: Stephen King
Actors include: Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Corey Haim
Genre: Horror, Drama, Adventure
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
Definitely one of my least favorite werewolf tales and one of my least favorite King adaptations. It's just plainly cheesy and filled with drama that I couldn't care less about (family stuff). We follow around wheelchaired kid Marty (Corey Haim) and his sister Jane (Megan Follows aka Anne of Green Gables) and their family. See Jane is jealous of her brother Marty because she feels her folks blame her for everything. The overly nice (fake seeming) Marty is best buds with his Uncle Red (Gary Busey) who builds him a super wheelchair (silver bullet). As we follow all of that stuff Marty finds out that there is a werewolf about town. The effects are meh, the story isn't very interesting and really it doesn't have much to offer anyone. It's a shame that this didn't work out better (as I've heard the book was rather imaginative in the way it's displayed) but none of that translates here. This just feels like a very cheap werewolf movie that has a higher budget than it seems like it's used.

Availability:  On DVD

Vampyr - Der Traum Des Allan Grey (1932) aka Vampyr aka Adventures of David Gray aka Castle Of Doom aka Not Against Flesh aka The Strange Adventure of David Gray aka The Vampire aka Adventures of David Gray aka Vampyr, ou L'etrange Aventure De David Gray

4 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Carl Theodor Dreyer
Written by: Sheridan Le Fanu, Christen Jul
Actors include: Julian West, Maurice Schutz, Rena Mandel
Genre: Horror, Fantasy
Length: 75 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
This is a rather slow and atmospheric film that has many creepy images. Such care seems to have been put into the shadows, scenery and overall detail of the film which I think is what makes it so special. The actual plot is a bit muddled (or I'm a bit stupid, take your pick), but always there is something to appreciate, somewhat surreal I guess. The story (I think) is about a young man who goes to a castle and starts seeing things...scary and strange things. He starts to believe that he's being called to rescue a girl, but whom and why and where? We are made aware that our lead character was often having delusions so it's hard (or at least I found it so) to judge reality from dream. It definitely has some shocking things in the film considering that it was released in 1932 which I applaud. It does also have a whole bunch of reading to do and if you know anything about the legend of Vampires most of it will be redundant (and why do they give you so much time with each page to read...I could have read each 10 times over). It does have a few odd twists on the tale that I'd not heard before which I found interesting. For the most part though I think those interested in art and the history of vampire lore may get more out of this than some, but maybe I'm wrong.

Availability:  On DVD

The Prowler (1981) aka Rosemary's Killer aka The Graduation

4 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: It will freeze your blood.
Directed by: Joseph Zito
Written by: Neal Barbera, Glenn Leopold
Actors include: Vicky Dawson, Christopher Goutman, Lawrence Tierney
Genre: Horror
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: West Germany, Iceland, Norway




Review:
Rather run of the mill slasher in many ways, in fact it echoes My Bloody Valentine in a very big way (though both came out the same year). What sets it apart are that it's surprisingly well shot, also Tom Savini is responsible for some great effects and some interesting deaths. It starts out 35 year in the past with a letter wherein a girl named Rosemary breaks up with her Army boyfriend because it's taking him too long to come home. After we watch Rosemary and her new Beau slaughtered we move to present times. See the town hasn't had a Graduation dance since that year (since it happened then) but this year things are different. Mr. Army man (who actually does look creepy since he's covered from head to toe) isn't impressed and turns the local teens into bales of hay (or rather he pitchforks them) in many gory and fun ways that should please most bloodhounds. The sad thing is that there isn't much more to it than that and that it offers no real twist, just a straightforward slashing spree! Satisfying on that front but if you are looking for more this may be one to avoid.
 
Availability:  On DVD

Body Snatchers (1993)

3 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: The Invasion Continues
Directed by: Abel Ferrara
Written by: Jack Finney, Raymond Cistheri
Actors include: Gabrielle Anwar, Terry Kinney, Billy Wirth
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 87 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
I definitely prefer the other two versions of this tale I've seen (the '50s & the '70s) by a huge margin. This feels very '90s and it has "dear diary" overtones to the awful narration. They've also twisted this tale all around to be around a young girl and her family who moved to a new town. One day her little Brother notices that Mom's head deflates? and a new Mom appears and he yells and complains about that not being his Mom. After a while a bunch of townspeople start becoming more zombie like and personality free (oh and not to mention the loud sound they make while pointing which worked awesomely in the other two but here it seems hilarious). The actual effects that went into creating the pods and the regeneration process and stuff are well done and it's the only real reason I can think of to watch this. I really had higher expectations here, especially considering Abel Ferrara was at the helm of this picture. Not recommended unless you need to see every adaptation of this story.

Availability:  On DVD

Capricorn One (1977)

4.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: The mission was a sham. The murders were real.
Directed by: Peter Hyams
Written by: Peter Hyams
Actors include: Elliott Gould, James Brolin, Sam Waterston
Genre: Thriller, Sci-Fi
Length: 123 minutes
Banned: Nope





Review:
This was one exciting thrill ride that I didn't expect at all! See it starts out getting to know three Men (James Brolin, Sam Waterston, O.J. Simpson and who are to go to Mars with the NASA space program. When they are pulled from their spaceship at the last moment before take-off many questions are left unanswered. The public believes they are onboard as the shuttle launches and our astronauts are left with a very unappealing option. Elliott Gould plays a reporter trying to crack the case and find out what's really going on though it puts him in some major peril. Seriously when this started I figured I was in for an Apollo 13 style film, but this is so much more and it goes through so many different exciting action sequences. I hate that I can't say anymore because there are so many wickedly awesome things that happen within this tale but you really should just watch it and find out for yourself. No wonder there are so many conspiracy theory people, they likely saw this movie!

Availability:  On DVD

Expose (1976) aka The House On Straw Hill aka Trauma

3 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: And you thought that other HOUSE was bad...
Directed by: James Kenelm Clarke
Written by: James Kenelm Clarke
Actors include: Udo Kier, Linda Hayden, Fiona Richmond
Genre: Horror
Length: 84 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
Yet another video nasty, this time I can't help but feeling like it was picked because of graphic nudity and sex rather than actual horror but there is some of that here too. Udo Kier plays a writer who seems to not have any respect for women (but I don't even think that is a plot point). He rents an isolated house to write a new novel, only he is having trouble writing so he decides to hire a secretary. The girl he chooses is quite lovely but something doesn't seem quite right about her. Sure she's great help and nice to look at but she pays the price when some local yokels try to attack her. Not being one to put up with that sort of thing, the story takes a rather bloody turn from that point on. The is one heck of a sleazy tale and it did have too much of that nonsense and a pointless lesbian encounter and so forth. You could easily remove a half hour of pointless nudity from this and you'd have a much better story. As is, I still thought it was okay, the story was reasonable and everything, just parts of it were irritating to have to sit through to get to the good stuff.

Availability:  On DVD (but OOP)

Fiend Without A Face (1958)

4 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: New Horrors! Mad Science Spawns Evil Fiends! ...Taking form before your horrified eyes!
Directed by: Arthur Crabtree
Written by: Herbert J. Leder, Amelia Reynolds Long
Actors include: Marshall Thompson, Kynaston Reeves, Kim Parker
Genre: Sci-Fi, Horror
Length: 75 minutes
Banned: Sweden




Review:
So this starts out rather slow, a whole bunch of chatting and invisible monster attacks dominate the first part of the film. See the idea is that a Scientist is experimenting with powers and nuclear power and he creates something new. The new "thing" escapes from the lab and beings multiplying and attacking people by sucking their spinal cords and brains out. A bunch of locals are dying and blame is being thrown around but it's only when they discover this "mental vampire" monster is responsible that things really take off. Once we can finally see the culprit it's impossible to not be impressed, some of the best effects I've seen from a film so early. The monsters are creepy, and the film is gory and violent and all things exciting from that point on. Seriously at first I thought this would be dullsville but hang in there because this one is a really unique treasure.

Availability:  On DVD

Monday, January 4, 2010

The Haunting (1963)

3 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: You may not believe in ghosts but you cannot deny terror
Directed by: Robert Wise
Written by: Shirley Jackson, Nelson Gidding
Actors include: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Richard Johnson
Genre: Horror
Length: 112 minutes
Banned: Nope





Review:
I really despised the remake so getting around to watching this was a real chore. The worst part is, I know this is considered a classic but I found it to be dullsville! Obviously House on Haunted Hill [The House on Haunted Hill] is quite similar as I believe both are based upon Shirley Jackson's tale "The Haunting Of Hill House" but I really thought that the other one was so much better than this. This was as dry as a bone, the parts that were supposed to be chilling I thought were laughably stupid and I was cheering for the house to get anyone. I guess silly noises and doors slamming just aren't my cup 'o tea, I am a rather difficult sell on most haunted house tales though. A bunch of people who don't know each other were invited to the house that is haunted. Our lead character Eleanor (who is annoyingly played by Julie Harris) has left her miserable life behind and is desperate to stay in the house. The one thing this does have going for it is atmosphere, it's a great gothic style setting and the staircase is something to see. I wouldn't take my word on this film as I seriously don't understand why it deserves all of the love it gets at all, and I seem to be in the extreme minority with my opinion. Watch it I guess but don't be surprised if you end up doing some major yawning.

Availabilty:  On DVD

To All A Good Night (1980)

2 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline:  You'll Scream 'til Dawn
Directed by: David Hess
Written by: Alex Rebar
Actors include: Jennifer Runyon, Forrest Swanson, Linda Gentile
Genre: Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Iceland




Review:
Oh dear, well this is a Christmas slasher that is extremely cheap, dark and even hard to see what's going on some of the time. It was directed by David Hess (who should stick to raping women in films) and although I'm sure he's seen many slashers this 'un is proof that not just anyone can make one. It's definitely color by numbers, a group of wooden teens have a party and a killer dressed as Santa bumps them off one by one. Even the deaths weren't imaginative! The characters seem to lack motivation for most things and plenty of times they could have gotten away or gone for help or whatnot and of course they just hang out and have sex waiting to be killed without asking questions. At least most have some sort of original twist or surprise but I should note that this did come out before Silent Night, Deadly Night but Deadly Night is a zillion times more entertaining!

Availabilty:  Currently Not On DVD
To All a Goodnight

Lisa, Lisa (1977) aka Axe

4 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: Total Terror - You'll Be Scared To Breathe...!
Directed by: Frederick R. Friedel
Written by: Frederick R. Friedel
Actors include: Leslie Lee, Jack Canon, Ray Green
Genre: Horror
Length: 68 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
Now this one pleasantly surprised me though it's cheap and sleazy to the max...oh wait that's why I liked it! It's a video nasty so I figured I was in for some red stuff and yes indeedy it does satisfy. The story is about three criminals who happen to be going around and killing people before they meet young Lisa. Lisa looks after her paralyzed Grandpa in a big ole farm house all by herself. Lisa isn't quite the most normal person, she suffers hallucinations, stares into space and well she's just generally strange. When the criminals stumble into her place bad things start happening! It's definitely very The Last House on the Left only much cheaper and only a little more than an hour long. If you go into this expecting to be scared you are looking at it from the wrong angle, look at this as a ridiculously campy homage to revenge pictures with a wickedly vicious young Girl that you want to root on. This definitely won't appeal to everyone but those who like it will probably like it a lot.

Availability:  On DVD

Isn't It Shocking (1973)

3 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: John Badham
Written by: Lane Slate
Actors include: Alan Alda, Louise Lasser, Edmond O'Brien
Genre: Horror
Length: 73 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
I hate to say that I found this to be rather dull but well the truth is just that. The premise, pretty cool someone is shocking the old folks...appropriate title to say the least. The town Sheriff (Alan Alda) goes about in a slow manner trying to solve the crimes and talking to nearly everyone in town...yawn! Oh and terrible as this is gonna sound, they are old people...death isn't far away at any rate! It completely lacks excitement, you really don't see many deaths so on a horror and thriller front it disappoints. It does have a ton of talking some weak attempts at humor though if you like the characters you will get more out of this. I just felt like I was stuck with 70 minutes of small talk, and about 3 minutes of anything actually happening. I should point out that this was a made-for-tv movie from ABC and often I do enjoy this sort of thing but I really found this 'un to be a big let down.

Availability:  Currently Unavailable, all DVDs seem to be bootlegs

The Signalman (1976)

4.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lawrence Gordon Clark
Written by: Charles Dickens, Andrew Davies
Actors include: Denholm Elliott, Bernard Lloyd
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 37 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
Part of the UK's A Ghost Story For Christmas series and likely the best story of the lot (though I've only ever seen one other that was also quite good). It's a short period piece but it packs a nice little punch. We follow around a Signalman (bet you wouldn't have guessed that) who seems to be haunted by an image that appears when a disaster happens. This all started after he watched a nasty crash between two trains in a tunnel. He meets a friendly fellow and the two talk about life, work and become friends. It's more than just that though as the dreary ominous atmosphere builds into quite a wonderful flick. When you consider this will only take a little more than a half hour of your time and it's probably the best Christmas ghost story how could one say no?

Availability:  Currently Unavailable

Dark Star (1974)

3.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: What would you be like after 20 years aboard DARK STAR the spaced-out spaceship. The ultimate cosmic comedy!
Directed by: John Carpenter
Written by: John Carpenter, Dan O'Bannon
Actors include: Brian Narelle, Cal Kuniholm, Dre Pahich
Genre: Comedy, Sci-Fi
Length: 83 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap...no I'm not a chicken, just shocked by how amateurish this film looks. At the same time, that is the reason the film is so hilarious! It started out as a short film project for John Carpenter that was added onto to make a full-length film and on that level it's pretty awesome what he accomplished. It's about four spacemen (and their dead Captain who can be unfrozen to ask questions to) who are on a mission to destroy unstable planets to colonize them. As they come close to finishing their mission new trouble appears in the form of an alien (beach ball) that is hysterical! It bounces about and "fights" them and really the alien is the star of the show and worth all of the talking that comes before it. They also have to try to talk a bomb out of exploding by asking it ponderous questions, talk about your strange mission! Really quite a funny film but if you go into it expecting any sort of fright or thrill you are barking up the wrong tree...this is pure silliness.

Availability:  On DVD