The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

3.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: Witness the birth of fear
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman
Written by: Sheldon Turner
Actors include: Jordana Brewster, Matt Bomer, Diora Baird
Genre: Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I usually am not one for remakes, but I did enjoy the 2003 version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a prequel to a remake sounds sketchy but this wasn't. In fact I'd say they did as well making this although yes it is sort of unnecessary and many things were recycled from the other films but it is still a lot of gore filled fun. Here we watch Tommy (aka Leatherface) lose his job at the butcher shop, and well let's just say he snaps. It does do a good job of filling in the blanks, like what happened to Uncle's legs and how did Hoyt become a cop etc. They introduce us to another group of young people (this time on their way to Vietnam for the war) who of course are destined to become dinner and play things for the lovely family. I appreciated that they didn't play this one too lightly and they really kept it rather dark and bloody. There was definitely a doomy feel to it, and the cast are actually rather decent too I must say. I was surprised that his is worth watching, however if you are looking for something surprisingly fresh and original this won't be it. It's exactly what you think it might be and that is all I was hoping for.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

The Woods (2006)

2 / 5 Nov '10
Tagline: Every high school has its secrets...
Directed by: Lucky McGee
Written by: David Ross
Actors include: Lauren Birkell, Agnes Bruckner, Jane Gilchrist
Genre: Horror
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well the biggest pro I can think of with this movie is main character Heather (Agnes Bruckner) who is charismatic and really carries the film. Everything else is pretty much uninteresting, particularly because it borrows pretty heavily from a much better film (Suspiria). Heather is a bad girl who likes to start fires, she is put in this special school out in the woods. The teachers seem very strange, and the classmates seem afraid or snobbish, depending on whom you go to. When students start disappearing Heather must find out the real truth about the school before it's too late! It unfortunately feels a big like an M. Night Shyamalan picture which I find off-putting, I really hoped it would be more like Lucky McKee's other film May. Oh well, it started off much stronger than it ended up, it was actually laughable in places and I don't think it's aim was to be silly. Oh and all of you Bruce Campbell fans take note, he appears in the film in a minor role but you will probably want to see it for that reason alone. It's not the worst thing ever, but I certainly had hoped for a heck of a lot more.

Availability:  On DVD

30 Even Scarier Movie Moments (2006)

2 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jeff Rotter
Written by: N/A
Actors include: Rob Zombie, Eli Roth, Wes Craven
Genre: Horror, Documentary
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, this was broadcast on Bravo Televison in 2 parts counting down 30 moments that were not on their top 100 Scariest Movie Moments broadcast. Unfortunately just like many sequels it's a far lesser list, heck I thought most of the films on this countdown were lousy but there were a few bright spots. The other issue with this series I have is that if you haven't seen the movie they will completely ruin it for you, so good advice if you are watching this and a movie you intend to see pops up, walk away or fast forward. Now as for what's included on the list, some of the stuff I really disliked that made the list included Open Water (one of the worst films I've ever seen bar none), Wolf Creek, Cabin Fever, and Devil's Rejects to name a few. Some of the better films mentioned were: The Hand That Rocked The Cradle, Hostel, Braindead (how that didn't make the first countdown is beyond me), Play Misty For Me, Videodrome, Scanners, A Clockwork Orange and so forth. Some of the entries were just laughable, like Christine (how is that frightening?), Fear (Marky Mark is scary how?), and The Stepford Wives (I liked it but I wouldn't say it's chilling). I think the most ridiculous part of this was watching the people involved jack off all over each other with praise, and heck they aren't above hyping themselves at all either. It really left kind of a sour taste in my mouth, I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised people like Eli Roth and Wes Craven are full of themselves but it's no fun to watch. Oh well something I definitely could have done without but if you are looking for the names of a few movies to watch and you want the plot ruined watch on.

Availability:  Not on DVD but it might air on TV again

Going To Pieces: The Rise & Fall Of The Slasher Film (2006)

3 / 5 Sept '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: N/A
Written by: J. Albert Bell, Rachel Belofsky
Actors include: Ed Green, Malek Akkad, Lilyan Chauvin
Genre: Horror, Documentary
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, I didn't expect a heck of a lot out of this going into it, I mean I've studied slasher films and seen many of them so I didn't think I would learn much. I was right unfortunately, but it was nice that they had interviews with many of the folks associated with slashers like Sean S. Cunningham, Wes Craven, Tom Savini (the most interesting of the lot) and several others. It does touch upon most of the biggies and it will include clips that will ruin the films for you if you haven't seen them already. Lucky for me only a small few of them that the even put up posters or anything for. The even briefly mention Italian films being an influence but it needed more detail I felt, also mentioning some of the earlier splatter films, particularly those of Herschell Gordon Lewis would have been worthwhile but they weren't touched upon at all. Also going into the later bits with Rob Zombie I didn't care for either but well I think he's a useless hack but I think that is just me, also all the mention of Scream as a savior of the genre to be rather nauseating too.I'm sure this would have been a nice bonus feature for a disc or something but considering I think this was sold separately as well I wouldn't really think it was worthwhile. You'll either have seen everything mentioned, or won't have in which case you'll wish you had so that many good plot points weren't ruined for you.

Availability:  On DVD