Nosferatu (1979) aka Nosferatu The Vampyre aka Nosferatu: Phantom Der Nacht

 4.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Werner Herzog
Written by: Werner Herzog
Actors include: Klaus Kinski, Isabelle Adjani, Bruno Ganz
Genre: Horror, Fantasy
Length: 107 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:

Most certainly one of the best remakes I've ever encountered, every detail is meticulously attended to. This was actually my first Werner Herzog film (and definitely not my last) and what really struck me was that at any given moment I could hit "pause" and the screen would look like a painting. The mood created with the shadows and contrast is impressively eerie and the sets are brilliant. It even manages to create a wonderful tension and the feeling of doom haunts the film. Oddly two versions of this film were shot simultaniously, one in German and one in English and it's said that the two are a bit different. The version I saw was the English one, but I'm mighty curious what differences lie between the two. The acting is superb, particularly Klaus Kinski's fascinatingly creepy portrayal of Nosferatu. I was also amused at Roland Topor's take on the Renfield character, he sure played it like a gigglier Peter Lorre. The story is one you will definitely know, it's the story of Dracula and actually it's one of the most complete and well defined versions available. It is a bit slower in pacing but only so the viewer can take the time to ingest the beauty of the film or nature or what have you. It's all very lovingly intentional and I thought it added that extra depth to make this as brilliant as it was. All I can say is that this is a must see on many levels, and that Herzog is brilliant so yes absolutely recommended.

Availability:  On DVD

Forklift Driver Klaus: The First Day on the Job (2000) aka Staplerfahrer Klaus - Der Erste Arbeitstag

4 / 5 May '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Stefan Prehn, Jörg Wagner
Written by: Jörg Wagner, Stefan Prehn
Actors include: Konstantin Graudus, Gustav Adolph Artz, Jürgen Kittel
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Length: 9 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Maybe it's because I've seen several forklift training videos because I work in a Warehouse that I found this to be so hilarious. It's a German short film that is created in the style of a workplace safety video, and as it goes on it gets increasingly more ridiculous and bloody. We first meet Klaus, a newly certified forklift driver who is ready to start his day. At first he decides it's safe to lift a fellow employee on a pallet which of course he finds out isn't the wisest idea. Each time Klaus has a bad idea we go back to an alarm and the next incident seems to get worse. Even the cheesy music and voiceover really make this something entertaining to watch. I think anyone who likes to see things go terribly wrong should enjoy this in some twisted way.

Availability:  I don't think it's on DVD

Das Wachsfigurenkabinett (1924) aka Waxworks

3.5 / 5 Mar '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Paul Leni, Leo Birinsky
Written by: Henrik Galeen
Actors include: Emil Jannings, Conrad Veidt, Werner Krauss
Genre: Horror
Length: 83 minutes
Banned: Nope





Review:
Visually this is a stunning movie, the sets are divine and ever so detailed, and the costumes are perfection. The film is hand painted in various colors that switch between scenes and add a degree of interest to the picture. It's probably the first horror anthology that I've come across. The story that ties the three segments together is about a museum with wax figures that needs someone to write back stories for them. So this fella creates stories of what happened to each of the three figures. The first one is the longest (and the least entertaining), is about a Sultan who falls for the Baker's wife, but the Baker isn't exactly going to go away quietly. The second story is about Ivan the terrible, it was quite interesting thanks to Conrad Veidt's excellent acting. Ivan likes to watch people die from poison, he has an hourglass that represents the time they have left that he adores watching. When he orders the execution of the Chemist who makes the poisons things get a little difficult. The last story is only like 5 minutes long, and it's about Jack the Ripper (or rather Spring Heeled Jack as they call him). The last tale feels like they weren't even trying which is too bad because definitely interesting films have been made from this story. Pretty neat in some ways but the actual stories themselves are what is wrong with this one. Still worth a watching for early film fans, it's impressive to see what they accomplished visually.

Availability:  On DVD

Der Todesking (1989) aka The Death King

4 / 5 Mar '11
Tagline: N/A

Directed by: Jörg Buttgereit

Written by: Jörg Buttgereit, Franz Rodenkirchen
Actors include: Suzanne Betz, Gerd Breitung, Ingo Buesing
Genre: Horror, Surreal
Length: 74 minutes
Banned: Nope




Review:
This is most definitely an unusual film but not too unexpected if you are familiar with the works of Jörg Buttgereit. It's surrealistic in nature, and it's really seven little segments divided up by days of the week. In between it's spliced with scenes of a corpse decomposing which is gross but but fascinating. The theme is death, murder and suicide...anything very depressing. It at least does have a dark sense of humor which makes it rather entertaining to watch. I think the best segment was the bridge, it actually made me feel nervous! Very effective little film that manages to disturb and horrify without being downright gross (okay so except the decomposing corpse). The music was actually quite fitting too, it seemed to add a lighter tough. Recommended for people who are looking for a different sort of horror film with a bit of an artistic touch.

Availability:  on DVD

Enigma Rosso (1978) aka Virgin Killer aka Red Rings Of Fear aka Rings Of Fear

2.5 / 5 Feb '11
Tagline: Sweet sixteen ... they'll lose more than just their lives.
Directed by: Alberto Negrin
Written by: Peter Berling, Marcello Coscia
Actors include: Fabio Testi, Christine Kaufmann, Ivan Desny
Genre: Giallo, Horror, Mystery
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Apparently this is the third part of the "schoolgirls" trilogy, the first two parts being Cosa avete fatto a Solange? [What Have They Done to Solange?], and La polizia chiede aiuto [The Police Want Help] both had the same director, and this one has a different fellow in charge. That may be why this film is way inferior to the other two. The muddy giallo plot involves the murder of a young girl (killed by a big dick). They start questioning her friends (they were quite a clique) and of course anyone else who might have done something so terrible. There are red herrings, and unnecessary nudity left right and center. What it is missing is violence, and gratuity and satisfying plot conclusion. By the time they actually got to the ending I couldn't have cared less (though I suppose they tried a little bit). It just lacked whatever character the first two had, it's very bland and forgettable really, heck I only saw this two days ago and I'm having trouble remembering it. Not a must see but it's okay I guess if you are a gialli addict.

Availability:  On DVD

Antichrist (2009)

3.5 / 5 Dec '10
Tagline: When nature turns evil, true terror awaits.
Directed by: Lars von Trier
Written by: Lars von Trier
Actors include: Willem DaFoe, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Storm Acheche Sahlstrøm
Genre: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
For me this was a rather hit and miss film, the ending I quite enjoyed...okay well maybe "enjoyed" isn't the word...it made me uncomfortable. The beginning I found to be rather dry and up it's own ass (although very well acted) it was rather boring. It begins with the death of a couple's infant while they are having sex (I was shocked at how much we see here honestly), from there it's a downward spiral of guilt, shame and despair. It's a depressing film, and some of the creepy imagery is quite well created (especially the woods and dead animals). The ending was surprisingly demented and entertaining though people watching this as an art film will be disappointed, I thought it had good payoff. It does "cross the line" a few times into silly territory...I mean a talking fox? What was up with that? Oh well it's a strange hybrid of art film, disturbing gross out fest and well acted drama....it was worth watching but not something I'd probably watch again.

Availability:  On Blu-Ray & DVD

The Woods (2006)

2 / 5 Nov '10
Tagline: Every high school has its secrets...
Directed by: Lucky McGee
Written by: David Ross
Actors include: Lauren Birkell, Agnes Bruckner, Jane Gilchrist
Genre: Horror
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well the biggest pro I can think of with this movie is main character Heather (Agnes Bruckner) who is charismatic and really carries the film. Everything else is pretty much uninteresting, particularly because it borrows pretty heavily from a much better film (Suspiria). Heather is a bad girl who likes to start fires, she is put in this special school out in the woods. The teachers seem very strange, and the classmates seem afraid or snobbish, depending on whom you go to. When students start disappearing Heather must find out the real truth about the school before it's too late! It unfortunately feels a big like an M. Night Shyamalan picture which I find off-putting, I really hoped it would be more like Lucky McKee's other film May. Oh well, it started off much stronger than it ended up, it was actually laughable in places and I don't think it's aim was to be silly. Oh and all of you Bruce Campbell fans take note, he appears in the film in a minor role but you will probably want to see it for that reason alone. It's not the worst thing ever, but I certainly had hoped for a heck of a lot more.

Availability:  On DVD

Orphan (2009)

3.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: Can you keep a secret?
Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra
Written by: David Johnson
Actors include: Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, Isabelle Fuhrman
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Length: 123 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, having just seen the wretched film Case 39, I was expecting this to be basically the exact same idea. It was, however this one is far superior, it's not as predictable (though it's not exactly surprising) and they actually bothered to explain what was happening which I appreciated. At any rate, a couple who have a deaf little girl and a little boy are having a hard time after a stillborn comes there way. They decide to adopt, so they go to an Orphanage and find Esther, a particularly unusual and bright 9 year old girl sitting off by herself. They fall for her and take her home and adopt her, and at first everything seems perfect. From there it basically goes into a retread of The Bad Seed only there is something different about this tale. It's not the most horrific film ever, in fact yes it's more of a thriller but I have to give it credit, it's over 2 hours long but it held my attention. That being said, in no way did it need to be that long but just the same probably worth a viewing on a rainy day.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Julie Darling (1983) aka Daughter Of Death

5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: she's sweet, sixteen, and she simply loves her daddy..... she'll slaughter you if you love him too.
Directed by: Paul Nicholas, Maurice Smith
Written by: Paul Nicholas
Actors include: Anthony Franciosa, Sybil Danning, Isabelle Mejias
Genre: Horror, Exploitation
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Probably one of the absolute best Canuxploitation films I've seen...even if they are trying to pretend it's an American film pasting flags everywhere (yet they left in a shot of the CN Tower). At any rate this has everything going for it, particularly actress Isabelle Mejias in the role of Julie. Julie is a teenager living with her Father (who she's madly disturbingly in love with), and her awful Mother whom she hates. When the grocery boy gets fresh with Ma, and murders her, Julie has the ability to stop it but chooses to do nothing. When Dad remarries let's just say that trouble starts up again in extremely entertaining ways. It does have a fair amount of nudity and so forth in it, it's a sleazy movie...but the best possible kind. It's made with dark humor, clever plot turns and the dialogue is pretty wicked too. It was extremely entertaining (though very cheap not that it mattered), and one of the best girl gone evil movies I've ever seen. It's hard to come by (I looked for a copy for many years before someone kindly uploaded it for me) but it's well worth the hunt and the wait, most definitely a hidden horror gem worthy of discovery.

Availability:  On DVD

Die Zärtlichkeit der Wölfe (1973) aka The Tenderness Of Wolves

4 / 5 Aug '10
Tagline: The First Gay Vampire Movie
Directed by: Uli Lommel
Written by: Kurt Raab
Actors include: Kurt Raab, Jeff Rodan, Margit Carstensen
Genre: Drama, Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although it's not exactly a horror film I still found it to be rather captivating and interesting. This tale is based upon the Vampire of Düsseldorf, the same tale that the film M is based upon. I actually prefered this retelling as it wasn't so police heavy and it was more character driven but I'm in the minority with that belief. Fritz Haarmann (Kurt Raab) is a strange character known for helping out poor boys and giving people meat and whatnot. He's also known by some as a bit of a criminal and a nuisance, but most seem to like him. We know he has a live in male lover, and also that he likes to bring home pretty young men and drink their blood before butchering them and serving them to others. The thing is, the film is never graphic, well okay that's a slight exaggeration, some of the set and genitals are graphic sure but as far as gore and whatnot goes, it's implied. It's all in the dialogue, and Raab's acting that really pull this film from being rather mundane to something quite special and dark. It also has a rather black sense of humor that kept me chuckling even through the horrendous things that seem to be going on in the tale. This won't be for everyone but I really enjoyed it, it is artfully made with a great cast and authentic feeling sets and everything else. Recommended to people who want to see an entirely different side of vampirism and who are looking for more of a drama rather than a horror film.

Availability:  On DVD

Vampyr - Der Traum Des Allan Grey (1932) aka Vampyr aka Adventures of David Gray aka Castle Of Doom aka Not Against Flesh aka The Strange Adventure of David Gray aka The Vampire aka Adventures of David Gray aka Vampyr, ou L'etrange Aventure De David Gray

4 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Carl Theodor Dreyer
Written by: Sheridan Le Fanu, Christen Jul
Actors include: Julian West, Maurice Schutz, Rena Mandel
Genre: Horror, Fantasy
Length: 75 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a rather slow and atmospheric film that has many creepy images. Such care seems to have been put into the shadows, scenery and overall detail of the film which I think is what makes it so special. The actual plot is a bit muddled (or I'm a bit stupid, take your pick), but always there is something to appreciate, somewhat surreal I guess. The story (I think) is about a young man who goes to a castle and starts seeing things...scary and strange things. He starts to believe that he's being called to rescue a girl, but whom and why and where? We are made aware that our lead character was often having delusions so it's hard (or at least I found it so) to judge reality from dream. It definitely has some shocking things in the film considering that it was released in 1932 which I applaud. It does also have a whole bunch of reading to do and if you know anything about the legend of Vampires most of it will be redundant (and why do they give you so much time with each page to read...I could have read each 10 times over). It does have a few odd twists on the tale that I'd not heard before which I found interesting. For the most part though I think those interested in art and the history of vampire lore may get more out of this than some, but maybe I'm wrong.

Availability:  On DVD

Schramm (1993) aka Schramm: Into the Mind of a Serial Killer

4 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: ...today I am dirty, but tomorrow I'll be just dirt.
Directed by: Jörg Buttgereit
Written by: Jörg Buttgereit, Franz Rodenkirchen
Actors include: Florian Koerner von Gustorf, Monika M., Micha Brendel
Genre: Horror, Romance, Thriller
Length: 65 minutes
Banned: Finland, Singapore

Review:
This is an odd one...I'm not even sure who this was aimed at. It's part German art film, part goreophile's dream, part gross-out and part romantic drama (I kid you not). I was definitely intrigued and it held my attention, it just didn't come together as cleanly as I would have liked. As it goes we are watching our "Lipstick Killer" dying in a pool of paint and blood as we get hazy and fragmented memories that we are to piece together from his life. The thing is, there is symbolism, suggestion, hallucinations (I think) and all sorts of stuff to confuse someone trying to make sense of it though I'm sure that's the point. The acting was very good and believable and it does have a certain harshness that makes it uncomfortable. Our killer had a relationship with a Hooker, he had a meeting with religious folks, and a bizarre Denist meeting that I just can't begin to understand. Still there is something intriguing and memorable about this and it is quite unlike most. I should also mention that the whole thing wraps up in about 65 minutes so it's not much commitment. I do kinda wish they had added another twenty minutes to it to explain a couple of things or give us some more background info but well it is what it is. This will be something that some will definitely want to see but others will hate it.

Availability:  On DVD

Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) aka Cemetery Man aka Demons '95 aka Of Death And Love

4.5 / 5
Tagline: A cemetery man must kill the dead a second time when they become zombies
Directed by: Michele Soavi
Written by: Gianni Romoli, Tiziano Sclavi
Actors include: Rupert Everett, Francois Hadji-Lazaro, Anna Falchi
Genre: Horror, Comedy, Fantasy
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I'm surprised this one hasn't been properly rereleased and discovered by the masses yet. It's another witty horror comedy sorta thing where Rupert Everett works as a cemetery man. The dead seem to rise seven days after they died the first time and it's his job to kill them a second time as they become zombies. There is plenty of amusing little mishaps and odd things going on which make this quite delightful. They also put a bit of what if and some deeper meaning into this if you look hard enough and even a bit of a love story involving a severed head. It's got a little something for everyone, and I'd highly recommend this to most. Fortunately it's finally available on DVD so you have no reason not to grab this, I can't think of anyone I've shown this imaginative movie to that has disliked it!

Availability:  On DVD