Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Bad Biology (2008)

.05 / 5
Tagline: A God Awful Love Story
Directed by: Frank Henenlotter
Written by: Frank Henenlotter
Actors include: Charlee Danielson, Anthony Sneed, Mark Wilson
Genre: Horror, Fantasy, Pornography
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Where to begin, I hate this film as a Woman, I hate this film as a horror fan, I hate this film as a Frank Henenlotter fan...I hate this film as a HUMAN! The sound and video look to be of porn quality, only maybe not quite so good. I know Frank is capable of shooting a reasonably good looking movie but this felt digicam bad. The soundtrack was terrible! Prince Paul was responsible and I'm not a big De La Soul fan but he should be ashamed of himself. The dialogue was disgusting, tons of useless swearing, dirty words and stupid hip slang words that I refuse to acknowledge like "Sick"...it will always mean unwell to me I don't care how many people try to use it in another context...denied! I guess I should mention the plot though honestly I'd rather not. It's about a woman who has 7 clits and she spits out mutant babies due to a rapid growth speed in her innards. She meets Prince charming...a fellow who's Penis was accidentally hacked instead of his umbelical cord so he took drugs and hormones which addicted his mutant penis to drugs. The penis escapes and it's up to el skanko clit lady to abduct it and use it for her purposes. I assure you it sounds classier than it is, and honestly with the horrid production value, bad acting and lame effects this has absolutely nothing going for it, not in any way. It insults us all...and no not in a funny way, despicable really it made me want to wretch and I had to force myself to sit through it. This is one of the worst films by far that I've ever seen and I am so frustrated with the state of humanity for liking this that I feel I should move to the moon or something. Say I don't have a good sense of humor and that I'm a prude (even though I even thought A Dirty Shame was hilarious) but you can never say I'm a fan of this film...NEVER!!!

Availability:  On DVD

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