Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Hospital Massacre (1982) aka Be My Valentine Or Else! aka Ward 13 aka X-Ray

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: A young nurse is stalked by a maniac out to avenge a long-ago Valentine's Day humiliation.
Directed by: Boaz Davidson
Written by: Marc Behm, Boaz Davidson
Actors include: Barbi Benton, Jon Van Ness, Charles Lucia
Genre: Horror
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: West Germany

What Valentine's Day is complete without this bloody little slasher? After a boy leaves a Valentine's card for a snotty little girl who crumples it up and laughs (he sees this from the window) we flash to the future many years later when they are grown. By this point the little girl is played by Playboy model Barbi Benton who has arrived at the hospital for some minor tests. Our angry little boy who has kept a grudge is now a slashing machine in the hospital who has a master plan to keep Barbi there as long as he can exact revenge! Some of the killings are pretty cool and bloody, the mood is also rather dark and the gleeful killer is rather amusing too. It's just in between killings we aren't offered much more than lame excuses why one needs to stick around the hospital (or watch the film, depends on how you feel). It's also very cheaply made and the ending sequence is shot very darkly and is almost impossible to see. It's got major lows and some highs, but really it's best for a low expectation Valentine's Day viewing (or to look at Benton's boobs...your call!).

Availability:  Never been on DVD but I believe people are selling bootlegs

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