Kyvadlo, jáma a naděje (1984) aka The Pit, the Pendulum and Hope

4 / 5 Apr '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jan Svankmajer
Written by: Jan Svankmajer, Edgar Allan Poe
Actors include: Jan Zácek
Genre: Horror, Animation
Length: 15 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
At first I thought...oh no, I'm going to get sea sick from the lack of focus and the pendulum movement. Then I started to feel that doom of the swing, and as the details become clear as to the situation and set it's pretty darned neat. It's all filmed in grainy black and white, and you really don't see much if anything in the way of faces. Creepy moving parts and the animation or stop-motion stuff certainly leave one feeling uneasy. At the same time the age old Pit and the Pendulum story is very clear despite the total lack of dialog. We watch a Man struggle for survival as the pendulum swings closer and closer as he tries desperately to escape...how is that not exciting? It's definitely obvious stylistically that it's a work of Jan Švankmajer with the creative touches. Sure it's just a short film, but it packs a whole lotta punch.

Availability:  On DVD as part of the Collected Shorts Of Jan Svankmajer set

Midnight Killer (1984) aka Morirai A Mezzanotte

3 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lamberto Bava
Written by: Lamberto Bava, Dardano Sacchetti
Actors include: Valeria D'Obici, Leonardo Treviglio, Paolo Malco
Genre: Horror, Mystery, Giallo, Thriller
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well it's definitely a later entry into the giallo field and it's one of Lamberto Bava's worst but it's certainly not terrible, it is at least stylish in a way. The fashions are awful, and it's missing the gratuity one would expect in this style of film. The deaths are decent and a bit of creativity is used, and the nudity quotient wasn't fulfilled much to my Husband's dismay. The beginning in this film is quite strong at least, it starts with a violent fight between a fellow named Nicola and his Wife. Nicola leaves the seen and flees to an ex-girlfriend's house who just happens to receive a phone call while he's there stating the death of Nicola's wife. It's of course a mystery and a few other girls are killed along the way. I think I might have rated it higher were the ending more satisfying, but it sort of cheapened the film I thought. You could do worse, especially during this time frame with this style of film but you could definitely do better too.

Availability:  I don't believe it's currently on DVD

The Devil's Gift (1984) aka Il Dono Del Diavolo

1 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Kenneth J. Berton
Written by: Kenneth J. Berton, Hayden O'Harra
Actors include: Bob Mendelsohn, Vicki Saputo, Struan Robertson
Genre: Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, I have seen worse movies, this one is at least laughably abysmal. Most of it is mundane talking about changing the oil in one's car or something similar, or ridiculously over the top family love-ins and friendly touching. The most entertaining part of the film is watching the Father in the family interacting with their neighbor friend Pete (they seriously want to have sex with one another though that has nothing to do with the movie or it's plot). Anyhow, Father and Stepmother have a son Michael who likes to play with Star Wars toys and watch generic cartoons (that we get to watch for a while because they had nothing better to fill the time with). When Michael's birthday hits Stepmother buys him one of those ugly cymbal monkeys from an antique shop. The monkey spends lots of time giving evil glares on the verge of clapping his symbols together. For whatever reason he is making the Stepmother attempt to kill the family dog and son? Who knows, it was cheaper than hell, duller than dirt and there wasn't any payoff. It's a big ripoff of Stephen King's "The Monkey's Paw" only it's the most boring representation dragged out over an hour and a half imaginable. Return this gift to sender (couldn't resist), it's got absolutely nothing going for it.

Availability:  Not on DVD

Poison For The Fairies (1984) aka Veneno Para Las Hadas aka The Evil Fairies

4.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Carlos Enrique Taboada
Written by: Carlos Enrique Taboada
Actors include: Ana Patricia Rojo, Elsa María Gutiérrez, Leonor Llausás
Genre: Horror, Fantasy
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I really didn't know anything about this going into it, and was I ever impressed. This isn't a gorefest, so if that's the sort of film you are looking for, turn away. This is beautifully filmed, stylish, funny and extremely original, and really quite the treat from Mexico. It's a period piece set in the '60s which is kind of neat. Flavia is new to her school, and quickly she befriends Veronica and before long the little girls are spending a ton of time together (I'm guessing they are like 10 or so). Veronica is an unusual little girl, she's obsessed with witches and does her darndest to convince her little friend Flavia that she is a powerful witch. Flavia has had enough of her piano teacher, she doesn't like lessons so led by Veronica the two summons the devil's help to send her far away. While Flavia is rather innocent and assumes that nothing will come of this she is horrified to find that her piano teacher actually dies. Soon she starts to believe Veronica is a witch, and Veronica is a manipulative little girl who starts pushing Flavia around. Let's just say things get a little strange and even surprising from there, but it's all purely engrossing. This child actors are superb, probably some of the best I've seen and I loved the story too. Well worth digging for this one, a really wonderful film that unfortunately it seems few have seen.

Availability:  Not Currently On DVD to my knowledge
Veneno Para las Hadas

Silent Madness (1984)

3.5 / 5 July '10
Tagline: Dare You Watch It Alone?
Directed by: Simon Nuchtern
Written by: Nelson DeMille, Bill Milling
Actors include: Belinda Montgomery, Viveca Lindfors, Solly Marx
Genre: Horror
Length: 92 minutes
Banned: Sweden

Review:
I liked this, it's actually a colorful little slasher film that although it doesn't offer much in the way of original thought it still is rather fun. That and it managed to have a death in it that I'd never seen before, and the acting is decent, especially from lead psychologist Dr. Gilmore (the mom from Doogie Houser MD.). This tale is about a paranoid psychotic who is accidentally released because his name is similar to another patient. This mental hospital is possibly the weirdest and most illogical one I've ever seen. Instead of admitting the error they lie about it pretending the dangerous guy is dead. Dr. Gilmore stumbles upon this problem and gets into it even thicker when she stays at a sorority house where the killer's murders started many years before. Small parts of it were intended to be in 3D which is unnecessary and useless considering I don't think a proper version of this exists with glasses and stuff. It's also got a ton of cutaway violence, if you like seeing the gruesome stuff this might disappoint as it's all offscreen. It does seem like it has a bit of a sense of humour and even a tad bit of tension here and there. Considering how rarely I've heard this film mentioned it's actually one of the better unknowns from the '80s, I'd say watch it if you like horror from this time.

Availability:  Not On DVD

Dreamscape (1984)

3.5 / 5 Jun '10
Tagline: Alex Gardner has an extraordinary gift. To keep it may cost him his life...
Directed by: Joseph Ruben
Written by: David Loughery
Actors Include: Dennis Quaid, Max von Sydow, Christopher Plummer
Genre: Sci-Fi
Length: 99 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well this is a rather strange one that channels The Dead Zone, Firestarter and A Nightmare on Elm Street yet the poster makes it look like a sequel to Indiana Jones. Dennis Quaid plays Alex Gardner, an intensely brilliant fellow with some psychic abilities and other properties, he's very valuable. The government needs him for an experiment they are working on involving having people go into other's dreams. It seems that many of the patients in the facility have horrible nightmares, so they test Alex to see if he can intercept the dreams. Of course he can and he ends up doing battle with a child's cobra head monster demon. Things get more complicated when we learn that the President is having horrible dreams too...involving the end of the world! Are we doomed or can Alex save the day? It's very creative, lots of interesting scenes and dream sequences and the like, rather unusual overall honestly. It's a bit cheap feeling and strange but I think that I did enjoy it.

Availability:  On DVD

Special Effects (1984)

2 / 5 June '10
Tagline: Mary Jean is just dying to get into the movies... She's about to get her wish.
Directed by: Larry Cohen
Written by: Larry Cohen
Actors include: Zoe Lund, Eric Bogosian, Brad Rijn
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Drama
Length: 103 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a bottom of the barrel rip-off of Brian De Palma that has very little in the way of redeeming qualities. I was intrigued by this because I usually like Larry Cohen pictures, and I loved lead actress Zoë Lund in Ms .45. The thing was in that role she was mute...this is one of the only other roles she's starred in and with a voice it seems obvious why...she was not a very good actress. You will see her boobs many times, and watch her clumsily play two roles. She plays an actress who is strangled to death by the director of the film (it happens near the beginning of the film so I'm not wrecking anything). Her boyfriend looks guilty in the eyes of the Police so they focus on him. The thing is that the director video taped her death so he intends to use this footage to make his own film. Now they have the chore of finding a look-alike which of course they do quickly in order to shoot the rest of the scenes from the film. It's a lot like Body Double only a whole lot crappier from the bad music, stupid plot and neverending supply of dull moments. Very much not worth seeking out unfortunately, I really did think it would have been so much more.

Availability:  On DVD

The Company Of Wolves (1984)

4.5 / 5 Apr '10
Tagline: Where fairy stories meet horror stories
Directed by: Neil Jordan
Written by: Neil Jordan, Angela Carter
Actors include: Angela Lansbury, Sarah Patterson, David Warner
Genre: Horror, Fantasy
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This was a very unusual werewolf film in many ways. The style in which this was filmed is astoundingly beautiful...very haunting looking sort of like something one might expect from Tim Burton. The way it was assembled makes it quite unique too, it's almost like an anthology as it has several tales within and a major tale similar to Little Red Riding Hood as the main attraction. A beautiful young girl who's sister was killed by wolves listens to tales from her Grandmother (Angela Lansbury) warning her of wolves. Of course on her way to visit her Grandma out in the woods she encounters a man who's eyebrows join in the middle (Granny warned this was the sign of the wolf) who offers to race her to the house. The entire thing has a nightmarish quality to it and the effects are surprisingly awesome, especially in the first tale Granny tells. It is very entertaining and has some undercurrents of the girl coming of age and the blood coming and therefore enticing the wolves etc but it's not really in your face about it. Very lovely and conceptually fascinating, it maybe isn't as gratifying as it could have been but I'd definitely recommend it.

Availability:  On DVD and Blu-Ray

Splatter University (1984)

3 / 5 Apr '10
Tagline: Where the school colors are blood red!
Directed by: Richard W. Haines
Written by: Richard W. Haines, Michael Cunningham
Actors Include: Forbes Riley, Ric Randig, Dick Biel
Genre: Horror
Length: 78 minutes
Banned: West Germany

Review:
Well, this is pretty much an entirely average slasher with no frills whatsoever and it's very very cheap looking. It's short (78 minutes), to the point, has several bloody slayings (though none are particularly interesting....except for maybe the girl who died from a slash to the forehead) and a mystery that most anyone could solve in the first 20 minutes of the film. The actors need some serious help though the dialog and situations are occasionally funny (particularly the scenes in the mental ward) and although it's kind of lame I never felt like walking away from it. You can tell that the director here used one of the Troma fellows as a consultant but even though this has weird things in it it does try to play it straight. My Husband complained about the lack of nudity and there are rumors floating that there is filthied up version but the director himself denies this claim, this is the full version! Also be prepared for many time jumps, I kept wondering when they would stop but I think there were 3 or 4 at least. Still considering this is very straightforward and the kills start nearly immediately it should please fans of low budget '80s slashers. I certainly don't think it's some lost gem or something but it should give you a few laughs at least.

Availability:  On DVD

Razorback (1984)

3 / 5 Nov '09
Tagline: It's waiting outside and it can sense your fear. No nightmare will prepare you for it!
Directed by: Russell Mulcahy
Written by: Peter Brennan, Everett De Roche
Actors include: Gregory Harrison, Arkie Whiteley, Bill Kerr
Genre: Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:

I kind of hoped for more, a dangerous outback pig could really have been a somewhat scary film. It's just the giant monster pig they made was hilariously stupid looking (I mean think as big as Python almost). Also the characters were pretty irritating, especially the thugs (and I don't mean in a good way) all of the bits of drama were plain irritating. The story is about a noisy American reporter who goes over and rubs everyone the wrong way with her stupid questions. When the local thugs decide to teach her a lesson all is aborted when a giant pig comes rushing by. Then flash to her Canadian husband who goes to Australia to find out what happened to his reporter wife. Of course he ends up rooming with the thugs and at some point an attractive young love interest (go figure). I really thought this had potential but it left me feeling pretty bored by the end of it all. I guess they tried and a few of the scenes were kind of cool but it ended up not being enough for me.

Availability:  On DVD