Cementerio Del Terror (1985) aka Cemetery of Terror

3.5 / 5 Oct '11

Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Written by: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Actors include: Hugo Stiglitz, José Gómez Parcero, Bety Robles
Genre: Horror
Length: 87 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Zombies that react to crosses like vampires, an evil book that brings back to life a murderer, house possession, a serial killer, dumb teenagers....what doesn't this movie have? Okay so a budget and explanation for the cockamamie hodge podge plot for starters but it's still rather entertaining. Some teen Boys plan a party in an abandoned home (with hydro and amenities) and trick some girls into coming over by pretending they are having a "jet set party" (whatever that entails). Instead they decide it would be a groovy good time to go find the most hideous corpse they can at the morgue for scares. They also think that reading from an evil book at a cemetery is a good plan and you can pretty much guess what happens from there. So the "plot" is borrowed from so many other more popular movies like The Evil Dead and countless others. At least they did throw in a few decent gore effects, and the illogical nature of the movie itself brings some good laughs. It also does have sort of a Halloween theme (though they mention it's June???) so it's a decent watch if you are looking for an amusing Mexican horror flick for the season.

Trick R Treat (2007)

4 / 5 May '11 
Tagline:  You better watch out, I'm telling you why. Sam is coming to town...
Directed by:  Michael Dougherty
Written by:  Michael Dougherty
Actors include:  Anna Paquin, Dylan Baker, Brian Cox
Genre:  Horror, Comedy
Length:  82 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:
Sure this isn't the sort of horror film that is going to scare the pants off of anyone, but it is a really fun Halloweeny anthology.  It winds four spookily fun little tales together to make for a fast-paced and original flick.  One segment was about a Principal who does not put the "pal" in Principal (okay worst joke ever right?).  In fact he may be murdering the children of the neighborhood!  Another is about a bunch of teens who pull a prank on an idiot...savant that is.  We also have a College virgin who is waiting for the right one, but her friends are kinda pressuring her to do it now!  Lastly there is the tale about blowing out a jack-o-lantern before midnight.  All were well executed and the spirit of the film is purely vintage which I loved.  I'm so happy to see that the anthology is in fact not dead, just twisted Pulp Fiction style.  Thanks so much to the very wise Happywax (Doomgoryums Horror Emporium) for this recommendation, great selection!  

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

C'est Arrivé Près De Chez Vous (1992) aka Man Bites Dog

3.5 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: A Killer Comedy
Directed by: Rémy Belvaux
Written by: André Bonzel, Rémy Belvaux
Actors include: Benoît Poelvoorde, Jacqueline Poelvoorde-Pappaert, Nelly Pappaert
Genre: Black Comedy, Crime, Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well this is an unusual French black comedy that was shot in black and white involving the humorous exploits and babblings of a killer. While I did find this occasionally hilarious, (especially his advice about weighing down bodies) I didn't think this was disturbing at all. Our killer offs just about anyone who crosses his path and it seems like without purpose or explanation most of the time. As his rampage goes on he begins to involve the camera crew (it's set up documentary style for some reason) and soon they learn they are in some dangerous territory. It is rather stylish and it's a different approach to serial killers than most I'll give it that. I guess I just expected a little more, and a bit more context though I found it cute they show him with his family. Also I think it goes a bit far with the babbling although occasionally interesting. Definitely a strange little film that most seem to enjoy, I liked it, I just didn't love it.

Availability:  On DVD

The Man With Two Brains (1983)

4.5 / 5
Tagline: Steve Martin Is A World Famous Surgeon. He Invented Screw Top, Zip Lock Brain Surgery. Trust Him.
Directed by: Carl Reiner
Written by: George Gipe, Steve Martin
Actors include: Steve Martin, Kathleen Turner, Dave Warner
Genre: Comedy, Sci-Fi
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This has got to be the funniest Steve Martin movie I've come across yet, not only was he fantastic but I loved Kathleen Turner in this too! This film not only has a great cast but it has some of the funniest bits in any film ever! It's a wonderful mix of silly, absurd and universally funny. Steve Martin plays a surgeon (Dr. Hfuhruhurr, the name gag never gets old) who is the inventor of the first "twist off, zip lock" brain transplant. He accidentally hits Kathleen Turner with his car and she starts using him (because she gets off on making Men miserable) and of course the two wind up married. The only problem is, when visiting a scientist's lab he falls madly for a brain (Miss Uumellmahaye)! There is also a serial killer who murders on elevators prowling about (which is my personal favorite part) which is worry some too! It's a hilarious hybrid of many different things, but certainly early sci-fi films but I really think you don't have to be in "the know" to appreciate this gem.

Availability:  On DVD

Corpse Mania (1981) aka Si Yiu

3.5 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Chih-Hung Kuei
Written by: Chih-Hung Kuei, On Szeto
Actors include: Ni Tien, Yung Wang, Tsu Ling Yu
Genre: Horror, Giallo, Crime
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well the "corpse" part is accurate enough, not so sure about the "mania" however hehe. This is a Shaw Brothers film that is rather unusual in that the kung fu role is very minor, that and it resembles a giallo in some ways which is odd. A man seems obsessed with sick women, you see them go home with him...then their "sexually abused corpses" surface (their words, not mine). Our killer is disguised (much like in a giallo) and although some things we know right away, others are kept from us until later. It's a bit confusing and strange but it's relatively entertaining for the most part. Also funny is the fact that the dead girls appear covered in bait....not maggots....bait. Some of the killings were a bit surprising and they did put forth some effort to make it gruesome, also they don't spare us from the corpse sex. It's not the best of it's kind, parts somehow manage to be a bit dull but for the most part it's an unusual and decent film.

Availability:  On DVD

Midnight Killer (1984) aka Morirai A Mezzanotte

3 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lamberto Bava
Written by: Lamberto Bava, Dardano Sacchetti
Actors include: Valeria D'Obici, Leonardo Treviglio, Paolo Malco
Genre: Horror, Mystery, Giallo, Thriller
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well it's definitely a later entry into the giallo field and it's one of Lamberto Bava's worst but it's certainly not terrible, it is at least stylish in a way. The fashions are awful, and it's missing the gratuity one would expect in this style of film. The deaths are decent and a bit of creativity is used, and the nudity quotient wasn't fulfilled much to my Husband's dismay. The beginning in this film is quite strong at least, it starts with a violent fight between a fellow named Nicola and his Wife. Nicola leaves the seen and flees to an ex-girlfriend's house who just happens to receive a phone call while he's there stating the death of Nicola's wife. It's of course a mystery and a few other girls are killed along the way. I think I might have rated it higher were the ending more satisfying, but it sort of cheapened the film I thought. You could do worse, especially during this time frame with this style of film but you could definitely do better too.

Availability:  I don't believe it's currently on DVD

Il Coltello Di Ghiaccio aka Knife Of Ice aka Detrás Del Silencio (1972)

2.5 / 5 Dec '10
Tagline:   N/A
Directed by: Umberto Lenzi
Written by: Luis G. de Blain, Umberto Lenzi
Actors include: Carroll Baker, Alan Scott, Ida Galli
Genre: Horror, Giallo, Thriller
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Meh...I'm actually usually rather fond of Umberto Lenzi movies but this one did nothing for me. It's a giallo indeed but it's missing the excess flair and nudity and violence. It involves a young Woman named Martha (relatively well acted by Carroll Baker) who is mute because of a railway tragedy that occurred when she was 13. She lives with her Uncle in the countryside, but when her cousin Jenny arrives things turn disastrous. Jenny turns up dead and soon they realize there is some sort of maniac killing young women around and maybe Martha could be next! It is a rather dry and humorless effort which didn't help with moving things along either. I also hate to say that there weren't really any surprises with this, I predicted what would happen and I was right, not too much fun in that. I really had expected more from this one but they can't all be winners!

Availability:  Not on DVD currently

Sweet Kill (1973) aka The Arousers aka A Kiss From Eddie

2.5 / 5 Nov '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Curtis Hanson
Written by: Curtis Hanson
Actors include: Tab Hunter, Cherie Latimer, Nadyne Turney
Genre: Horror, Exploitation
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Such a lackluster exploitation flick, especially considering the topic, I'm not even sure how they made it so boring. Former teen heartthrob Tab Hunter plays creepy murderer Eddie Collins, and to see him in a role like this is a tiny bit entertaining but not enough to compensate for the plot. Eddie kills, gets erect, then kills, then gets erect....yeah you get the picture, nothing really special thrown in and the kills aren't even that great. I at least appreciate that they tried to make this a character study but they should have tried a little harder to make him intriguing even if in a bad way. It's insanely cheap, there are way too many uninteresting sex scenes and it was really missing that flavor that makes for great exploitation. It truly is hard to believe how mundane this really was, I had rather high hopes and usually I enjoy sleaze like this but I'd say that most would benefit from passing on this one.

Availability:  Not on DVD

Bloodrage (1979) aka Never Pick Up A Stranger

3 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: If he wants you.... he'll get you
Directed by: Joseph Zito
Written by: Robert Jahn
Actors include: James Johnson, Judith-Marie Bergan, Jerry McGee
Genre: Horror
Length: 81 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well I really wanted to like this a whole lot more than I actually did. It is rather low budget and it does contain many gritty shots of New York in the '70s which I like. It's just that they managed to find an entire cast that have zero charisma, it's particularly annoying in the lead character that we follow around for the entire movie. It actually starts out relatively strong, we meet Scott, a fellow who is tricked by a Prostitute. When she starts to demand money for her time (he didn't receive anything) they start to push each other around until an accident occurs and she dies. It's actually pretty well made at this point, and it's bloody and even has a bit of a sense of humor. From that point on though there isn't much to look forward to. Scott moves to New York to "blend in" and he realizes that he hates everyone but loves killing. From that point on it's as dry as a bone and although a few killings happen they aren't very interesting. Although yes I can see that it is similar to Maniac in a way, it's not nearly as interesting at all, nor is it as demented. At any rate for a cheapo killer film it was okay, just not the exploitation classic I'd hoped for.

Availability:  Not on DVD

Wolf Creek (2005)

2 / 5
Tagline: Based on true events
Directed by: Greg Mclean
Written by: Greg Mclean
Actors include:  John Jarratt, Cassandra Magrath, Kestie Morassi 
Genre: Horror
Length: 104 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well as I checked out the 100 Scariest Movies as voted by Empire magazine I saw this at number 4 and thought, gee I should check it out. Then I chatted to my Husband about it and we did watch it in 2005 which of course triggered my memory of how much I hated it. Heck I'm not one to forget movies I've seen so for me to have blanked it out entirely...not a good sign. It was in the style of a mean spirited slasher which usually is my thing, but this one was so cheesy that I couldn't get into it. The characters all needed to be killed, it just didn't happen fast enough for my liking and heck I didn't even sympathize with the killer...I just wanted the movie to end. The film is about a bunch of kids in their '20s who go hiking in the Australian Outback but when they return to their car it won't start. Luckily for them a local has offered to help them out...if you've seen The Texas Chain Saw Massacre you can probably guess what happens next. Though the gratuity is sort of a nice throwback to elder slashers it's missing all of the tension, scares and general style, this feels like a cheap generic slasher. This is one of those films that seems to polarize people, I thought it was lazy copycat modern horror but heck others love it, I guess the only answer is to see for yourself.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Lady In White (1988) aka The Mystery Of The Lady In White

2.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: The year is 1962. The place is Willowpoint Falls. Nobody talks about what happened in the school cloakroom 10 years ago. Now, in the dead of night, Frankie Scarlatti is going to find out why.
Directed by: Frank LaLoggia
Written by: Frank LaLoggia
Actors include: Lukas Haas, Katherine Helmond, Alex Rocco
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, Kids, Horror
Length: 119 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Yet another film that I thought I would really like but it ended up leaving me cold. See I think at first I thought...oh this is a kid's movie set in the '60s. It's rather cartoonish and fluffy at the start, we meet a little boy named Frankie who gets locked in a school closet. He then witnesses a girl be carried away by a man who we can't really identify. The little girl keeps haunting him telling him she wants to go home, so he starts an investigation (he's like 8 or something). We learn shortly after that a mass child killer likely is the responsible person for this, and as the story starts to develop Frankie learns it might be someone he knows! It's not chilling or frightening enough for the subject matter, yet the subject matter makes it so that children probably shouldn't be watching it. I'm still not really sure who this film was actually intended for. It's sort of like a Scooby Doo episode only with a child murderer. That being said, it's not violent or satisfying at all on a horror movie front, it's really a young person's fantasy film I guess with a ghost. It's far from the worst thing ever and Lukas Haas does a good job in the role of Frankie. Just the story could use some explanation like why did the killing happen? Still an ok Halloween themed film for just the right person, though most seem to like this so perhaps give it a shot anyhow.

Availability:  On DVD

10 To Midnight (1983)

3 / 5 Aug '10
Tagline: Back in town... with a vengeance!
Directed by: J. Lee Thompson
Written by: J. Lee Thompson, William Roberts
Actors include: Charles Bronson, Lisa Eilbacher, Andrew Stevens
Genre: Thriller, Drama, Horror, Crime
Length: 101 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This was cheese supreme, and although I thought the idea of combining a Charles Bronson flick with a serial killer concept was a good one. Everyone seems like they were phoning it in, even Bronson didn't seem like he could care less that he was in the movie. The serial killer at large is kind of amusing because he's a nudie, and watching him run around and kill people who are making out while naked is unusual. Bronson is the cop that is determined to catch the guy, even if it means toying with evidence that could get him deeper into trouble. It's just not exciting and although the killing part is okay the rest of the Police procedural stuff was pretty dull, and there wasn't enough violence to make this a good slasher either. The element of Bronson having a daughter was a bit interesting as of course the killer will want to target her etc. At least the last little bit is somewhat exciting but it definitely needed more punch.

Availability:  On DVD

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

3 / 5 Aug '10
Tagline: In 1946 this man killed five people... Today he still lurks the streets of Texarkana, Ark.
Directed by: Charles B. Pierce
Written by: Earl E. Smith
Actors include: Ben Johnson, Andrew Prine, Dawn Wells
Genre: Horror, Drama, Crime
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: nope

Review:
It's rather hard to rate this because the copy I watched was pretty poor, and the dark scenes were barely visible. I did catch what was going on of course, but it's hard to tell if it was just poorly filmed or rather the vhs copy from the '70s that my copy had been ripped from was just old. Oh well, the other thing is that parts of this film are impressive, I mean considering it predates the slasher craze it does have some shocking violence. The scenes that don't involve the creepy hooded killer are so beyond dull and cheesy that it's hard to wait them out. It's yammer yammer yammer, scooby doo music and Police follies which bore me to tears. Also the announcer that tried to make this look like a documentary kept laming things up, just when I'd forget about the stupidity of it it would pop back up and irritate me. I think there is a way this could have been executed like a documentary and it would have been scary (from the reports I read it really did frighten people in it's day), but this was not the way. It was set in the '40s and based upon a real murderer that wasn't caught that wore a hood on his head. The killing are very brutal, the car window and tree scenes must been seen, some violent stuff. It's just the rest is nearly pointless, I get that they wanted us to see what the community was up to but so very much of it was that and so very few were the cool moments. It is worthy of a viewing, but the great parts are really few and far between.

Availability:  Not on DVD

Passi Di Danza Su Una Lama Di Rasoio (1973) aka Death Carries A Cane

2 / 5 Aug '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Maurizio Pradeaux
Written by: Alfonso Balcázar, Arpad DiRiso
Actors include: Robert Hoffmann, Nieves Navarro, George Martin
Genre: Giallo, Horror, Thriller
Length: 84 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, this one started out a lot stronger than it finished but it never really made a good impression I'm afraid. It's ridiculous and with the dubbing the first bit feels like a comedy and really I did laugh a fair bit until it got excruciatingly dull. Oh sure there were many pointless song and dance numbers and it did have a fair bit of nudity and the typical giallo trappings but nothing to make it remarkable in any way. The plot is about a woman who witnesses a murder, the other people who witness the murder end up razored and caned to death...could she be next? They certainly didn't have special effects despite trying to do series of flashes of things that could add up to someone being murdered. It also wasn't satisfying in the least in the conclusion, it really felt like a pale imitation of better films. The story suffered, the music was dreck and it wasn't really worth bothering with despite the awesome title.

Availability:  On DVD

The Psychic Killer (1975)

3 / 5 July '10
Tagline: First it drives you mad, then it kills and kills and kills!
Directed by: Ray Danton
Written by: Greydon Clark, Mikel Angel
Actors include: Paul Burke, Jim Hutton, Julie Adams
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Iceland

Review:
Oh dear, this is quite a film I suppose. It reminds me of Patrick I guess, only this film uses some sort of astral projection in order to get revenge. Arnold Masters is in a mental hospital for a crime he didn't commit. He makes friends with another in the hospital who gives him his magical charm when executed which teaches Arnold astral projection revenge. See Arnold is very mad at the people who killed his Mother and the Men who set him up to make him look guilty. One by one they die off in amusing ways (I give credit there, they did try with the deaths), but it's baffling the cops. See they are tailing Arnold and watching him go into trances while the murders happen, but will they be able to solve the puzzle before Arnold goes too far? It's rather slow and dry for the most part but it never really got to the level of being boring. The amusing deaths and strange story aren't exactly a must see but some will find this entertaining.

Availability:  On DVD

Body Puzzle (1992)

2.5 / 5 Jun '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lamberto Bava
Written by: Lamberto Bava
Actors include: Joanna Pacula, Tomas Arana, François Montagut
Genre: Horror, Giallo, Mystery, Thriller
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, I am typically a fan of Lamberto Bava but this wasn't nearly as good as I'd have expected. It did manage to have some nice scenes of gore and dismembered body parts if that be your thing. The story is rather dull (even though it's going to sound exciting). It's about a serial killer who removes parts from his victims (who is known to us right off the bat) sends them to a Woman. The Police scramble to solve the mystery, although it's no mystery to us making it feel pretty boring. It's very dry and wooden feeling, nothing special whatsoever. Although perhaps this would qualify as a giallo it probably wouldn't satisfy genre fans. I've definitely seen worse and cheaper, but I actually saw this when it first came out but totally forgot I ever watched it. That's not a good sign, and odds are within a year I'll forget again. Oh well, Lamberto's weakest still has a few decent qualities I guess.

Availability:  On DVD

Amsterdamned (1988)

4 / 5 May '10
Tagline: The city is murder
Directed by: Dick Maas
Written by: Dick Maas
Actors include: Huub Stapel, Monique van de Ven, Serge-Henri Valcke
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Action
Length: 114 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Ever since I heard the name of this film when I was a little girl I've wanted to see it...how could you not? Luckily it was as good as it's name, I found this to be a rather original and scenic thriller film thanks to dutch director Dick Maas (De lift [The Lift]). It's very cool that it was shot in the canals of Amsterdamned, it has an exciting speed boat chase, gruesome murders and intrigue! The idea is that there is a serial killer who is into diving and he lurks in the canals springing up at any time to collect his next victim. It's in the style of a who-dunnit, almost like a giallo film which is pretty neat. We follow around a Police Officer and his daughter as they try to figure out who the killer is and of course prevent the next victim from being claimed. This really does have a bit of everything, it's got a sense of humor even...they really made this an interesting little film that should appeal to most.

Availability:  On DVD (region 2 though)

Quando Alice Ruppe Lo Specchio (1988) aka Touch Of Death aka When Alice Broke The Mirror

3 / 5 Apr '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lucio Fulci
Written by: Lucio Fulci
Actors include: Brett Halsey, Ria De Simone, Al Cliver
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well it's more entertaining than Un gatto nel cervello [A Cat in the Brain] and actually I'd say this is first and foremost a comedy and secondarily a gore flick. It's very cheap and strange and don't expect everything to be explained because it surely isn't. We follow around a murderer who kills seriously ugly rich women (I was trying to eat while watching for Pete's sake ewww) for money because he gets into gambling debts. The effects are rather cheap, expect very fake looking people being chainsawed into pieces and the like. Our murderer isn't quite right in the head, he has conversations with his tape deck (don't ask) and he likes to grind body parts into meat. I must admit it does have it's share of snickers to be had, it's very black comedy and on that level it works. It's just not hilarious nor is it effective as a horror film in any way. Still it's one of the better late Fulci films I've seen and I think fans should be able to appreciate this on some level.

Availability:  On DVD

At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul (1963) aka À Meia-Noite Levarei Sua Alma

4.5 / 5 Apr '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: José Mojica Marins
Written by: José Mojica Marins
Actors include: José Mojica Marins, Magda Mei, Nivaldo Lima
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
"I'll eat meat today even if it's human flesh!” Gosh I loved this film, Ze is sort of like a Brazilian Freddy Krueger from the '60s. He is an evil philosopher, he's got pointy fingernails (which is because the director stepped in the role of Ze when the lead actor quit...the director happened to have long thumbnails so they created prosthetics for the rest of his nails) and he's a hilarious world class jerk. He is also on a mission to have a child no matter how many women he has to beat up and kill to do it! This is shockingly gory and violent especially when you consider the year, and it must have been really controversial at the time considering Ze's anti-religion stance. The whole thing is in black and white and the sets are very spooky really, it feels like a Halloween movie big time. The beginning is a bit cheesy but stick with it, so rewarding and entertaining I loved the heck out of it and can't wait to see the two sequels. For once I spent $100 on a box set and felt like it was actually worth it, and I've only seen the one disc! Apparently this was the first Brazilian horror film and if there are more like this one count me in, I must see more!

Availability:  On DVD

Fear (1990)

3 / 5 Apr '10
Tagline: Your First Impulse Your Last Sensation
Directed by: Rockne S. O'Bannon
Written by: Rockne S. O'Bannon
Actors include: Ally Sheedy, Lauren Hutton, Michael O'Keefe
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well it's worth noting that this is one of the first of '90s thrillers involving a serial killer and psychic powers. Actually the plot although silly in a way is probably one of the best parts of this one. I was surprised at how poor the acting was in this, I expected more from Ally Sheedy! She plays Cayce a psychic who helps solve murder cases which has treated her quite well, only her new case is a challenge. See the killer she's trying to help nab just happens to also have psychic abilities (see what I mean by silly) and is trying to out do her by going after people in her life and controlling her. He uses his psychic abilities to find out what scares the person the most and tries to incorporate that into his means of attack which is kind of cool. Although it had the potential to be frightening, thrilling or even intense it never really went there. It was more Cayce freaking out in various settings while her visions took over. It's not really horrific enough to be considered a horror film, nor is it bloody nor do we see a heck of a lot really. Still some good ideas were here and I easily made it to the end of the film, it just wasn't as exciting as it should have been.

Availability:  On DVD as part of 2fer with Parents