Ratman (1988) aka Terror House aka Quella Villa In Fondo Al Parco

2.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: He's The Critter From The Shitter!
Directed by: Giuliano Carnimeo
Written by: Dardano Sacchetti
Actors include: David Warbeck, Janet Agren, Eva Grimaldi
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Not the most exciting cheap Italian sleaze, in fact it's probably one of the weaker entries I've seen. The plot is paper thin, a ratman was created by a scientist I think using monkey sperm and a rat if I'm not mistaken. The ratman itself is rather amusing, a very little person in some extreme make-up and teeth with rat noises dubbed over top, kind of like the Zuni doll from Trilogy of Terror. When the dangerous ratman escapes some models are being bumped off (and their corpses have giant scratches all over 'em) between boring as heck photo shoots. This does have a fair bit of nudity if that be your thing but the parts that didn't have the creature were duller than dirt. It's a shame the cast wasn't into it, and the deaths aren't that great (often too dark or cutaway) though they don't mind showing some blood. All in all if you like strange Italian movies you'll maybe want to give this a try but I found it to be a bit of a struggle to sit through.

Availability:  On DVD

L'abime Des Morts Vivants (1981) aka Oasis of the Zombies aka Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies aka Le Tresor Des Morts Vivants aka The Oasis of the Living Dead aka The Treasure of the Living Dead

1.5 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jesus Franco
Written by: Jesus Franco
Actors include: Manuel Gelin, France Lomay, Jeff Montgomery
Genre: Horror, War
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Canada

Review:
When I think about the most boring zombie movie I've ever seen is this instantly pops into my head. Nothing happens for the longest time but dry dialog and African desert. See apparently some treasure is buried there from WW2 by the German army and some folks are trying to find it. Most people would fall asleep by the time they actually did find the zombies, and when they do show up they barely do anything. Truly one of those films I think should be avoided by everyone, even bad movie buffs will be bored to tears! Hard to believe that a director like Jesús Franco who is notoriously sleazy could be responsible for something so lifeless, but it's true!

Availability:  On DVD