Starcrash (1978) aka The Adventures Of Stella Star

2.5 / 5 Feb '11
Tagline: A Sexy Space Adventure
Directed by: Luigi Cozzi
Written by: Luigi Cozzi
Actors include: Caroline Munro, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Plummer
Genre: Sci-Fi
Length: 92 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Even by it's title you can tell it's a Star Wars imitator, but it also has a fair bit in common with Barbarella too. The cast is what drew me to the film, I mean Christopher Plummer (as "The Emperor"), Joe Spinell (as the evil "Count" ahem Vader", David Hasselhoff (as Luke er Simon) and the scantily clad Caroline Munro in the leading role Stella Star. The plot is rather epic, it's about a secret weapon capable of mass destruction that Stella Star, her alien friend and robot friend (with a penis helmet) must save the world from. The acting is quite terrible, and so are the hilariously bad effects. It's also a laugh for quite a bit as you point out what parts were stolen from what film and so forth. I think the main purpose of the film was to show of Munro's legs but when dealing with a film this cheesy it's hard to say. I'm kinda sad we bought this on blu-ray but I guess if nothing more it did amuse until it bored to tears...skip this unless you like bad movies.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974) aka Kronos aka Vampire Hunter

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Evil Ends Here.
Directed by: Brian Clemens
Written by: Brian Clemens
Actors include: Horst Janson, Caroline Munro, Shane Briant
Genre: Horror, Adventure
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Pretty amusing entry into the line of Hammer vampire pictures, this one follows a different sort of tale. See the vampires in this actually suck life from their victims and only leave a bit of blood on the side of their mouths. Additionally they prey on young women and when finished, their faces are extremely aged (or rather they each turn to the face of an old man wearing a wig). There is a heroic vampire hunter by the name of Captain Kronos (Horst Janson) fighting the good fight along with a wench he saved and his hunchback assistant. Thing is, Kronos isn't your typical hero, he's very into sexy ladies and he's been known to smoke herbal cigarettes (nudge nudge wink wink) and well he's a different sort of feller. Admittedly the hooded faceless vampire lurking about the woods is rather creepy and the idea is a very interesting one and it has a neat style to it. I also appreciate that it's unlike any of the others from Hammer that I've seen so far and it's very easy to appreciate. It's not their finest but it's far from their worst, a definite one to watch despite the lack of star power.

Availability:  On DVD

Slaughter High (1986)

3.5 / 5

Tagline: Take a Trip Through the Halls of Horror!

Directed by: George Dugdale, Mark Ezra

Written by: George Dugdale, Mike Ezra

Actors include: Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Carmine Iannaccone

Genre: Horror

Length: 91 minutes

Banned: Nope

 

 

Review:

This definitely has a lot going for it, and a lot wrong with it. See the deaths in this slasher are superb...things I've always wanted to see in graphic detail and well done. The acting is laughably terrible for the most part, it's very cheap (minus the effects) and predictable as heck. The good news is, it knows exactly what it is, has a good sense of humor and some serious gratuity. The idea is a recycled one, an April Fool's Day prank played on a nerd by the cool kids goes horribly wrong and the nerd ends up disfigured and wanting revenge. When the cool kids find themselves all invited to a reunion in a deserted area and nobody claims to have sent the invites they start to think maybe something is wrong. Well they know something's wrong when one by one they end up dead in gruesome ways. Were the ending not so stupid I would have awarded this an extra .5 star, but let's face it...it's a classic but only in the sense that it's bad but immensely entertaining.

Availability:  On DVD