The Faculty (1998)

3 / 5
Tagline: Six students are about to find out their teachers really are from another planet.
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez
Written by: David Wechter, Bruce Kimmel
Actors include: Jordana Brewster, Clea DuVall, Josh Hartnett
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 104 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
It's a bit of sci-fi mixed in with teen drama and a slight horror element I suppose. It's hardly scary in any sort of way, but the idea is alright and the actors all went on to be quite successful and in that regard it's worthwhile also. Basically the teachers at a high school are somehow strange and something is going on, some of the kids investigate and guess what....the teachers are aliens! It's simple but a pretty easy view if you can't find something better on tv or at the rental place this will pass the time.

Faces Of Death (1978)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: Banned in 46 countries!
Directed by: John Alan Schwartz
Written by: John Alan Schwartz
Actors include: Michael Carr, Samuel Berkowitz, Mary Ellen Brighton
Genre: Horror, Documentary
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: New Zealand, Australia, Finland, UK, Norway
Country: USA

Review:
Well what a mess but a must see for people who love gore and grossness. It's a combination of footage of real and faked deaths and some are disturbing some are cheesy. The most fascinating material I thought was watching some tourists eat monkey brains, the method of killing the monkey is horrible! There are also some real executions and suicide attempts and death by reptile etc etc. If you are a ghoul (which I am) you will want to see this, but it's poorly organized and the fake material should really not be included if they truly wanted to make a documentary. It seems like a joke and although yes there are some ewww moments it's hardly enough to make it rewatchable in any form.

Face (2004)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Sang-Gon Yoo
Written by: Hie-Jae Kim, Chelo-hie Park
Actors include: Yun-ah Song, Hyeon-jun Shin, Seung-wook Kim
Genre: Horror
Length: 92 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: South Korea

Review:
This one is about face reconstruction, an ill daughter who received a heart that has some sort of possessed heart, and organ conspiracies. With all of that excitement going on it's hard to believe that it was actually quite boring. In fact, it was another that really didn't make a ton of sense, and as far as horror/blood goes, there really isn't much if any. That's especially surprising since the killer has the habit of melting away the victims flesh with acid (yeah it SOUNDS cool...but isn't).

Eyes Without A Face (1960) aka Les Yeux Sans Visage aka House Of Dr. Rasanoff aka Occhi Senza Volto aka The Horror Chamber Of Dr. Faustus

5 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Georges Franju
Written by: Pierre Boileau, Pierre Gascar
Actors include: Pierre Brasseur, Alida Valli, Juliette Mayniel
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Finland
Country: France/Italy

Review:
Wow, this is actually breathtakingly beautiful...and horrific all at the same time. The cinematography is superb and although it's in black and white, and subtitled I can't stress enough how worthwhile this film is. The story is about a Surgeon and his wife I think. The Surgeon Dr. Genessier feels guilty because his daughter's face was destroyed in an accident that he was somewhat responsible for. In order to try to fix her face they kidnap various young girls and try to perfect the face transplant in order for her to gain normalcy. It's actually one hell of a lot more graphic and disturbing than I had expected and the story seems actually really realistic and horrific. This just manages to look at things from many angles and is consistently captivating and shocking. I truly went into this expecting to find some over rated art film but this is so much more, it's utterly brilliant and I can't say enough wonderful things about this.

Eye See You (2002) aka D-Tox

2 / 5
Tagline: Survival is a killer
Directed by: Jim Gillespie
Written by: Howard Swindle, Ron L. Brinkerhoff
Actors include: Sylvester Stallone, Charles S. Dutton, Kris Kristofferson
Genre: Thriller, Horror
Length: 96 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA/Germany

Review:
Oy this was a stinker, an advertised horror film where the murderer removes the eyes of the victims sounds like a great idea in theory, but in practice when you throw in Sly and some really stupid plot it becomes a dull failure. Basically Sly is an FBI agent who is trying to catch a serial killer who is after Police officers, and he already has a past with Sly and dislikes him. The whole thing takes place in the snow around a detox clinic and the twists are plain annoying and eye rollingly bad. Sure the idea has potential but some films are just ruined from the minute they start casting it seems. This one is a total dud!

Eyeball (1975) aka Gatti Rossi In Un Labirinto Di Vetro AKA El Ojo En La Oscuridad aka The Devil's Eye aka The Secret Killer aka Wide-Eyed In The Dark

3 / 5
Tagline: A stabbing nightmare becomes a living terror!
Directed by: Umberto Lenzi
Written by: Umberto Lenzi
Actors include: Martine Brochard, John Richardson, Ines Pellegrini
Genre: Horror, Giallo
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Italy/Spain

Review:
If you are into eyeball gouging....and I suspect you are, than this is the film for you. Well the plot is simple, there is a serial killer who is bumping off tourists and taking their eyes and their isn't much more to it than that. Their is a bit of a mystery to who is the killer but it's not enough to keep up momentum even though parts of this are pretty fun. This is a giallo film and one of the better ones really so long as you don't want personalities on your victims. This isn't a must see by any stretch, but if you specifically like this sort of low budget style thing and like eyeball removal than this is a must see.

The Eye (2002) aka Gin Gwai aka Jian Gui

4.5 / 5
Tagline: What if the reflection you see is not yours
Directed by: Oxide Pang, Chun Danny Pang
Written by: Jo o Yuet-chun Hui, Danny Pang
Actors include: Angelica Lee, Lawrence Chou, Chutcha Rujinanon
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 110 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Hong Kong/Singapore

Review:
I actually thought this was an interesting idea and a creepy execution. We have a girl who is blind and recieves a cornea transplant, only thing is it comes with more than she'd anticipated. She now sees ghosts, and not usually happy ones. There are a few jumpy moments (the hallway of the hospital), some freaky moments (the elevator...shivers) and yet the story is actually well thought out and logical. I am definitely shocked this hasn't been remade by Americans yet (update...it has now, I was so right!) but I guess I should give it another year or so before that happens. Definitely one of the few Asian films I'd recommend that nearly anyone watch!

The Exorcist III (1990)

3 / 5
Tagline: Do you dare walk these steps again?
Directed by: William Friedkin
Written by: William Peter Blatty
Actors include: Brad Dourif, George C. Scott, Nicol Williamson
Genre: Horror
Length: 110 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is a totally different spin on the whole thing. We have a serial killer who happened to have been executed the same time as Regan was exorcised. Could the two have something in common? It actually does have some interesting plot and the suspense is rather nice. This isn't up to par with the first one by any stretch but it's at least better than the second in this series. If you've gotten this far you might as well continue, but I still wouldn't say it's a must watch.

Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: It's four years later...what does she remember?
Directed by: John Boorman
Written by: William Peter Blatty, William Goodhart
Actors include: Linda Blair, Richard Burton, Louise Fletcher
Genre: Horror
Length: 118 minutes
Banned: Argentina
Country: USA

Review:
How on earth did they manage such a dreadful and dull sequel? The original was fabulous and because Linda Blair appears in this film it would seem like it would be worth watching. The plot is that somehow four years later she is possessed again and some more research is done into the demonic possession. Another Priest takes the reigns, but will they be able to save Regan? It's just depressingly boring and uninteresting, there is so much more potential and it really just took the turn for the worst in every possible way. What a real letdown, stick to the first one only if you know what's good for ya! Well actually I just tried to watch this again because it's hard to remember exactly how and why this was bad, could I have been remembering incorrectly? Unfortunately I still found little to look forward to and my initial assessment still stands. Oh and I should mention, this has way too much tap dancing for my liking, mind you Linda Blair does this tap dancing without a bra which I think was my Husband's favorite part of the movie, it did nothing for me mind you.

The Exorcist (1973)

5 / 5
Tagline: Something beyond comprehension is happening to a little girl on this street, in this house. A man has been called for as a last resort to try and save her. That man is The Exorcist.
Directed by: William Friedkin
Written by: William Peter Blatty
Actors include: Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow, Linda Blair
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 132 minutes
Banned: Singapore, Malaysia
Country: USA

Review:
Definitely one of the classics that has stood the test of time. No matter how things change watching a young old girl vomit, masturbate with a crucifix and curse is unnerving. She isn't badly behaved but rather possessed and a desperate family tries everything including an Exorcism (go figure) to fix their daughter. It's really actually quite shocking and surprising, it goes where few dare to. In this case it's the story which makes the movie and it's a goodie, also it's acted superbly. Even just writing about this is giving me the urge to watch it, it's just non stop interesting from beginning to end. Watch, watch watch!

The Exorcism Of Emily Rose (2005)

3.5 / 5
Tagline: What happened to Emily?
Directed by: Scott Derrickson
Written by: Paul Harris Boardman, Scott Derrickson
Actors include: Laura Linney, Tom Wilkinson, Campbell Scott
Genre: Horror, Crime
Length: 122 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is actually a pretty interesting take on the demonic possession thing. Sure it's rather similar to "The Exorcist" but it manages to have enough personality to prevent copycat status. In this case we have good Catholic girl Emily goes off to college but then she becomes possessed and has to come home. Her family is devisated and tries everything possible...including an Exorcism of course to fix her up. The story is pretty much told through a court case and wether or not the Priest who carried out the Exorcism was negligent or not more or less. It's actually quite fascinating the way this plays out, and it has enough dimensions to keep everything interesting. It's a pretty darned good story and it's well put to film, it's just not as good as another famous movie on the same subject, but it's will worthwhile!

The Evil Within (1990) aka Baby Blood

2.5 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Alain Robak
Written by: Serge Cukier, Alain Robak
Actors include: Emmanuelle Escourrou, Francois Frappier, Remy Roubakha
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: France

Review:
Well this one was rather stupid, an interesting idea though I suppose. A woman is pregnent with a monster and the monster causes her to kill men. It's sort of a reverse gender thing, but it's not a very good example as such. It's too ridiculous and comedic to be frightening, and it's not funny enough to be a comedy. In fact much of the film is boring even with all the gore and such. I'm sure the Troma crowd may want to give this a try but even being one who appreciates some Troma films I wasn't very impressed.

Evil Toons (1992)

3 / 5
Tagline: First they undress you, then they possess you!
Directed by: Fred Olen Ray
Written by: Fred Olen Ray
Actors include: David Carradine, Arte Johnson, Monique Gabrielle
Genre: Horror, Comedy, Animation
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Well honestly I liked this in spite of all it's short comings. It's definitely a sex comedy more than a horror film really. Some moronic yet lingerie-clad females cleaning an old house for the weekend find the Necronomicon and bring to life what looks like the tazmanian devil. The cartoon drools as the girls strip and well it ends up being less than friendly. It's a silly predictable cliche movie with bad acting, loads of titties and a silly devil but somehow it's pretty entertaining. I think the level of inept filmmaking is what makes this so funny but it's not like I expected an Oscar winning film so I was happy!

Evilspeak (1981) aka Evilspeaks

3 / 5
Tagline: Data incomplete...Human blood required. Thus spake the computer.
Directed by: Eric Weston
Written by: Joseph Garofalo, Eric Weston
Actors include: Clint Howard, R.G. Armstrong, Joseph Cortese
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Iceland
Country: USA

Review:
We have a military outcast who is abused and withdrawn and everything seems to be going wrong for him. Then he finds a book of black mass and begins to conjure Satan through a computer to harass his tormenters. It's kind of like "Carrie" from a military perspective only far less likeable. I should note that this one made the video nasty list and I'm not entirely sure why, I guess it's rather gory. So many of these half-assed '80s films pollute the market and waste the time of many a viewer, but this is one of the better of the lot. Still revenge can be sweet....at least during a few moments in the film anyhow!

The Evil Of Frankenstein (1964)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: He's never been more shocking! shocking! shocking!
Directed by: Freddie Francis
Written by: Anthony Hinds
Actors include: Peter Cushing, Peter Woodthorpe, Duncan Lamont
Genre: Horror
Length: 84 minutes
Banned: Finland
Country: UK

Review:
So the first two in the Hammer Frankenstein are amazing, and this is the third one. It demands that you disregard the first two in the series and trust me you won't want to associate this film with those anyhow. It does share the same beautiful sets, and some of the same actors (the fantastic Peter Cushing and his assistant), but those two things don't fix this stupid story. See first of all we see Helsing's castle trashed, so he remembers (differently than we do) the creation of Frankenstein. Then they find Frankenstein and reanimate him, only in this movie Frankenstein looks like his make up is a sandwich container masking taped to a forehead covered in guacamole. It's ridiculous, but then again the story goes nowhere too so perhaps it's fittingly bad? Then a hypnotist steps in and has to try to control Frankenstein but instead he makes him do his evil biddings. Somehow it's still tolerable, but it's clearly mimicking some of the lesser Universal Frankenstein pictures, but doing so even more poorly. Definitely the worst Hammer picture I've seen, yet I could sit through it, it's just best for around nap time.

Evil Dead Trap (1988) aka Shiryo No Wana

2 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Toshiharu Ikeda
Written by: Takashi Ishii
Actors include: Miyki Ono, Aya Katsuragi, Hitomi Kobayashi
Genre: Horror
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: Australia
Country: Japan

Review:
I'd heard so many things about this movie, I'd heard that it was scary, creepy, horrific, gory, shocking...yeah all good things. Then I paid like $30 for it, got it home and hated it, and consequently resold it within a week. I've seen plenty of Asian films and this is actually one of the worst! We have a tv crew who are sent a snuff film which they go to investigate. The motives for the characters are illogical, the film is humourless and scareless and I was actually bored with most of it. I mean if you think you are sent a snuff film, wouldn't you go to the Police rather than trying to go investigate yourself? I know this one actually strikes a chord with many horror fans, but truly I think this is one of the most overrated pieces in horror land. I'm not saying you are going to hate it, but if you do you can come join my team!

The Evil Dead II (1987)

3.5 / 5
Tagline: Kiss Your Nerves Good-bye!
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Written by: Sam Raimi, Scott Spiegel
Actors include: Bruce Campbell, Sarah Berry, Dan Hicks
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Iceland, Norway
Country: USA

Review:
Sure I adored the original, and I liked the era twist with "Army Of Darkness", but what about this one? Well it's my least favorite as it's pretty much a silly comedy oriented remake of the sequel rather than actually adding anything to the plot or explaining anything. I'm sure some fans will like this more because it's over the top, but I liked the way the humour went in the first one and this does wreak of trying too hard. Still it's entertaining and fans of the series will definitely need to see this one to, it's just a shame they didn't really "do" anything with it.

The Evil Dead (1981)

4.5 / 5
Tagline: Can they be stopped?
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Written by: Sam Raimi
Actors include: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Betsy Baker
Genre: Horror
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: UK, West Germany, Malaysia, Iceland, Singapore
Country: USA

Review:
Likely the best known and most loved of the lower budget films of the early '80s. Even though the budget on this one was basically nil, Bruce's personality some creativity makes this go an awful long ways. What happens is that a bunch of kids rent a cabin for vacation and it just so happens that one of them finds the Necronomicon. Of course the kids feel the need to play back the tape with the book of the dead which in turn releases evil into the woods. Well the evil takes several forms but mainly comically torments the kids in the cabin. This manages to be funny, gory, and always entertaining something rarely achieved with this sort of flick. It even has rape by tree and some decent effects thanks to Sam Raimi. It's no wonder that it spawned two decent sequels for this is one of the classics.

Evil Breed: The Legend Of Samhaim (2003) aka Samhain

0.5 / 5
Tagline: Evil roams the woods of Ireland
Directed by: Christian Viel
Written by: William R. Mariana, Christian Veil
Actors include: Bobbie Phillips, Jenna Hameson, Ginger Lynn Allen
Genre: Horror
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Canada

Review:
Somehow I'd almost entirely blocked this movie from my memory until my husband brought it up. Then it all came flooding back to me...the terrible porn style acting (no wonder when your cast is made up of porn stars), the poor plot, the dreadful boring nature of the film... Anyhow I caught this stupid slasher on cable, and literally we did force ourselves to sit through it. It's about a group of students who move into a fantastic cottage only thing they don't know is that the legend of Samhain festival is going on. Basically the rest of the movie is people awkwardly trying to talk to each other, and a legendary mutant slashing them up. They all don't die fast enough, and really this offered nothing except some nice shots of the forest...which you could definitely see in a better movie. Definitely I should have avoided this one before it even began but sometimes boredom makes you do terrible things...at least I didn't make this movie!

Event Horizon (1997)

4 / 5 May '09
Tagline: Infinite Space - Infinite Terror
Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Written by: Philip Eisner
Actors include: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan
Genre: Sci-Fi, Horror
Length: 96 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: UK/USA

Review:
I actually thought this was a pretty cool sci-fi piece. It's set in the future and a crew is sent out to find out what happened to a ship that went missing seven years earlier called...Event Horizon (go figure). Anyhow when they find the craft they can tell something isn't quite right, and in fact it's extremely dangerous. It's actually a pretty cool story and the erm obstacle they have to defeat is nearly impossible so it's pretty exciting and action packed. They managed to give a creepy feeling to the film which rarely works but here it does. Also there is a scene that is very fast and it flickers through a bunch of images, if you freeze on each you'll see some really nasty stuff. It's got good actors, a decent plot and a few scares, how can anyone refuse? So what if it's a hybrid of "Hellraiser"/"Alien"/"Aliens" and so on, originality it may not have but excitement it certainly does. I think most action/sci-fi and horror fans should get something out of this one.

The Entity (1981)

3 / 5
Tagline: There is no escape from something you cannot see
Directed by: Sidney J. Furie
Written by: Frank De Felitta
Actors include: Barbara Hershey, Ron Silver, David Labiosa
Genre: Horror
Length: 125 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
So during her sleep Barbara Hershey is beaten and raped by something invisible (don't you hate that?). After much research they learn that it's an evil force (surprise). Supposedly it's based upon a true story (I'm not buying it), but the biggest issue is the boring dialogue and the large periods of movie where nothing happens. Of course her family doesn't believe her and she has to try to seek out the truth about the evil force...blah blah blah. Not very impressive considering it's reputation.

Emanuelle And The Last Cannibals aka Emanuelle E Gli Ultimi Cannibali (1977)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: That Emanuelle
Directed by: Joe D'Amato
Written by: Joe D'Amato, Romano Scandariato
Actors include: Laura Gemser, Gabriele Tinti, Nieves Navarro
Genre: Horror, Adventure
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Germany
Country: Italy

Review:
Sleezy pornography first and foremost and a cannibal film secondly. Emanuelle was apparently raised by cannibals in the jungle and is working undercover in a hospital (you'd think she'd keep a lower sexual profile there but heck what do I know?). Anyhow, when she's sexing up (or so it seems) one of the patients she discovers a tattoo which represents a cannibal tribe. Anyhow, she takes some friends into the jungle to investigate and the cannibals aren't exactly happy about this. Considering the story here there is plenty of opportunity for disgusting typical Eurogore but most of the time we aren't rewarded with such. Instead we get extra sex and a smoking monkey (don't ask), yet still I did sit through the entire thing. There is a bit of a sense of humour which saves this in some ways and some of the bizarre visuals must be seen. Still there should have been more done with this, and since the sex bits disinterest me there isn't a ton of film left after you deduct that. Add a star if you are a male I suppose!

Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark (1988)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: Here comes the best DOUBLE FEATURE ever made!!!
Directed by: James Signorelli
Written by: Sam Egan, John Paragon
Actors include: Cassandra Peterson, William Morgan Sheppard, Susan Kellermann
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Length: 96 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Well I wouldn't have rented this actually, but my Dad grabbed it for me in the store (likely because he wanted to check out Elvira). The story is that Elvira hosts a horror show (what a stretch), but she ends up inheriting a relative's house which happens to be filled with magical stuff. The townsfolk don't exactly seem fond of her and in fact she faces charges of witchcraft. The jokes are lame and well it's not exactly of a serious nature. It's not really much of a horror film either when it all comes down, more of a comedy aimed at those who like sex and horror. It's tolerable but not exactly earth shattering or anything, and if you are looking for a satisfying horror film I can assure you that this isn't it. On the other hand if you are looking for something Addams Familyesque then this may be the tree you'll want to bark up.

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

2 / 5
Tagline: Do you hate spiders? Do you really hate spiders? Well they don't like you either.
Directed by: Ellory Elkayem
Written by: Ellory Elkayem, Randy Kornfield
Actors include: David Arquette, Scarlett Johansson, Kari Wuhrer
Genre: Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 99 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA/Australia

Review:
Slapstickedly unfunny and ridiculously stupid are just a few things I can think of to describe this film. It's about giant mutant spiders which attack a town. It's been done before, and they didn't really add anything useful to this or creative and heck the deaths weren't even that impressive. When I think of Python for example which is another ridiculous large animal (snake obviously) attacking folks this didn't have the gusto nor the style. I'd say pass this one up, then again I have friends who like it so what do I know?

The Eighteenth Angel (1998)

1.5 / 5
Tagline: The Crow Flies, The Clock Strikes And The Devil Is Due.
Directed by: William Bindley
Written by: David Seltzer
Actors include: Rachael Leigh Cook, Stanley Tucci, Christopher McDonald
Genre: Horror, Action
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This one comes across as having a bit of a budget and well the cast members are recognizable so one would expect that this would be decent enough. One would be wrong, so wrong that I actually rented this twice by mistake because I'd entirely forgotten about watching it the first time. It's that memorable and more! In fact as I'm reviewing this I'm struggling to remember what actually happened. Well I do remember that it dealt with a Satanic cult who were waiting for Satan to arrive. In order for Satan to do this he needs eighteen "angels" which are earthlings. I actually usually like the Satanic thing, but this is suprisingly poorly executed and unbelievable. It seems like nobody bothered committing to this film and heck I didn't even commit to it as a viewer. It's pretty much a waste of space really and I was quite disappointed.

Edge Of Sanity (1989)

3 / 5
Tagline: Double the terror, double the fun
Directed by: Gerard Kikoine
Written by: J.P. Felix, Ron Raley
Actors include: Anthony Perkins, Glynis Barber, Sarah Maur Thorp
Genre: Horror
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: UK/France/Hungary/USA

Review: Well Hopkins of course is the big draw here and I haven't actually delved very deeply in the Jekyll/Hyde story so it made sense to check this out. This has a bit of a twist on the usual story as Perkin's issues seem to stem from cocaine useage. He runs around seeking prostitutes in order to satiate his dark half, by day of course he has a family and seems somewhat normal. Although the plot does have a bit of a twist to it unfortunately it didn't seem like enough was done to make it fun for the viewer. The erotic nature of the film was unexpected and actually I didn't really appreciate the gratuitous sex scenes (guess Perkins doesn't melt my butter) but well some will find that to be the best part of the film. I do think they tried with this one, but as a horror film it needs more guts and stuff. It plays like a Euro horror film I guess is perhaps the best way to peg this one. I think some will really like this and others like myself will leave feeling unfufilled.

Ed Gein (2000) aka In The Light Of The Moon

2.5 / 5
Tagline: Before DAHMER, Before GACY, There was ED.
Directed by: Chuck Parello
Written by: Chuck Parello
Actors include: Carol Mansell, Steve Railsback, Carrie Snodgress
Genre: Horror, Biography
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
As far as the serial killer reinactment movies goes this one seems fine. It at least tries to cover his life before the mayhem and of course it has a reinactment of his depraved behavior. Still somehow with such an interesting character they've managed to make plenty of boring parts in the film which didn't need to be there. If you aren't familiar with Gein's story I'd recommend watching "Derranged" instead as it's far more entertaining and has a creepier feel to it. In fact I can't really think of very many reasons to even go here unless you can't find "Derranged" nor can you find any actual documentaries about Gein.

Ed And His Dead Mother (1993) aka Bon Appetit, Mama aka Motherhood

4 / 5
Tagline: A Family Reunion With Some Minor Complications.
Directed By: Jonathan Wacks
Written By: Chuck Hughes
Actors Include: Steve Buscemi, Eric Christmas, Ned Beatty
Genre: comedy, horror
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is one of the most original and funny horror-comedies that I've had the pleasure to come across...plus it has Steve Buscemi, what more can you ask for? Buscemi plays Ed, a pathetic fellow who is forced to take over the hardware store after his Mother dies. He can't quite get over her and tries to act as she would until one day he had an unusual visitor. A salesman shows up and offers him the chance to have his Mother back...for a fee of course. Well Ed snatches up this idea and just as Ed starts to hook up with the attractive neighbor girl Mom shows up, and she's as strange and controlling as ever! In order to keep Mom alive Ed is to give her a bug a day (or two I forget) but she gets into the supply and goes crazy trying to eat anything she can get her hands on! Soon she's leaping fences, chasing dogs and getting into assorted mayhem. It's quite the specticle and the film is perfectly cast. The laughs start almost immediately and carry on throughout which makes it extremely easy and fun to watch. I'm surprised this one didn't get more distribution or even end up in any local video stores because it's quite the all-around gem! It should be noted that this is pretty much goreless entirely and definitely more of a comedy than anything!

Ebola Syndrome (1996) aka Yi boh laai beng duk aka Yibola Bing Du

5 / 5
Tagline: N / A
Directed By: Herman Yau
Written By: Ting Chau
Actors Include: Anthony Wong Chau-Sang, Yeung Ming Wan, Fui-On Shing
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Length: 98 minutes
Banned: Singapore
Country: Hong Kong

Review:
I've got to say that by simply reading about the film and seeing the odd picture from it I wasn't that interested. It sounded like a gross out competition with zero taste which it actually is...but somehow it's hilarious, and fascinating. This film has non-stop violence, disgusting shit and any sort of body liquid you can think of. The dialog is in Cantonese, and the version I saw was subtitled. What really stands out about this film is that although it hits on nearly every excess I could think of, it's always entertaining and isn't that what movies are all about? The story starts out with a bang, we watch a disgruntled restaurant employee violently kill his boss and wife, and he's about to set their young daughter on fire before he someone shows up and he flees. Then we go ahead to when this young girl is grown. By this point the murderer (erm hero?) has gone to Africa for some discount meat which they purchase even though it's clear that the tribe is sick and dying. Instead of leaving peacefully, murderer finds a dying African woman and rapes her as she dies. He picked up ebola and the movie is ready to get even more freakishly awesome. So apparently one in ten million who get ebola don't get the symptoms and die but merely they act as carriers. Guess which one the murderer is? Well the restaurant help starts to piss him off so he rapes and kills them (so now their "meat" has ebola). He turns the infected human flesh into meat and serves it to everyone he can find. He doesn't stop there though, he tries to infect just about everyone with ebola, it's simply insane to see. If you aren't into bad taste, then don't watch this, you will be offended, but if you simply want a shockingly gross and funny film which is easy to follow and rewarding the whole way through, then grab this up as fast as you can. Extremely surprisingly fantastic! eboraaaa.......

Eating Raoul (1982)

4 / 5
Tagline: Meet the Blands! They're square . . . They're in love . . . And they kill people.
Directed by: Paul Bartel
Written by: Paul Bartel, Richard Blackburn
Actors include: Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, Robert Beltran
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is a weird duck of a black comedy/horror film. We meet an ordinary bland couple (who's name are in fact "The Blands") who dream of opening a restaurant. When Paul (the husband) enters the apartment and finds his wife Mary fighting off a swinger who entered the wrong apartment and is attacking his wife he wacks him with a frying pan. They need to find a way to dispose of the body so they come to quite a shocking solution (I'm sure you can guess). Soon they find this actually works quite well and they start looking for more swingers. It's not hilarious, but certainly funny and the actors do a pretty convincing job of being disgusted and fed up "straight" folks. Not one of the greats, but certainly a seldom mentioned little treat for folks who like this sort of thing.

Eaten Alive (1980) aka Mangiati Vivi!

3 / 5
Tagline: They Didn't Have A Chance!
Directed by: Umberto Lenzi
Written by: Umberto Lenzi
Actors Include: Robert Kerman, Paola Senatore, Janet Agren
Genre: Horror
Length: 92 minutes
Banned: Norway, Germany
Country: Italy

Review:
Well I really did expect more from this one seeing as how Lenzi usually makes such absurdly entertaining films that are underrated, this isn't one of those times. In fact this is more of a softcore porn about a sister looking for her sister in the jungle. Oddly her sister has joined some Jonestown like cult, and she and her tour guide get wound up in the shmozzle. See cannibals are lurking everywhere and simply leaving the cult doesn't really happen. There are tons of breasts, some rape and well it's all very unnecessary and silly. There is some gore, but it's not the most exciting red I've seen either. I guess in the grand scheme of things this is one of the worst of the cannibal films that I've seen, yet somehow I sat through it and I wasn't too bored, I just expected something a little more colorful from Lenzi.

Devil Dog: The Hound Of Hell (1978)

2.5 / 5 Apr '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Curtis Harrington
Written by: Elinor Karpf, Steven Karpf
Actors include: Richard Crenna, Yvette Mimieux, Kim Richards
Genre: Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Well this was a made-for tv flick so firstly this is pretty much violence free, and any bad things that do happen are offscreen. In fact the only thing you will see is a cranky dog wearing a black tutu around his neck with horns attached...dogs don't like being dressed up, no wonder he was snarky! The basic story is that a dog was possessed with a demon spirit and then it gave birth to Satan's puppies. A family lose their dog and then take in one of the puppies only to have the cruel dog (which is an adorable puppy at first) convert the children and the wife to the dark side! The dog apparently rips the neighbour dog to shreds (though we see nothing) and also causes a drowning and a few near misses. It's incredibly silly when it's not dull making it tolerable, but it's far from a barrel of monkeys!

Duel (1971)

4.5 / 5
Tagline: A duel is about to begin between a man, a truck, and an open road. When a simple battle of wits is now a matter of life and death
Directed by: Stephen Spielberg
Written by: Richard Matheson
Actors include: Dennis Weaver, Eddie Firestone, Carey Loftin
Genre: Horror, Action
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
I didn't find this to be as high intensity as "The Hitcher" but since this came first, this is really inspirational in most chases you likely have seen after. See what happens is a man driving a car (you'll have to pardon me as I know very little about vehicles) passes a gigantic dirty mean looking truck. It pisses off the driver, so he passes the car, then the car passes it until the truck driver gets pissed. The rest of the movie the car is being stalked and forced off the road by the cruel relentless truck driver. It's a bit long without a whole lot happening, but at the same time when things do happen, it's quite great. They have a run in with a snake farm for example, and an incident with a train makes it really exciting too. It's got a lot going for it really and for a first effort for Spielberg and a tv movie at that it's quite something and I would recommend watching it. It's just not my favorite vehicle stalking movie is all!

Dr. Terror's House Of Horrors (1965)

4 / 5 Apr '09
Tagline: Acclaimed as "The Fear Of The year"
Directed by: Freddie Francis
Written by: Milton Subotsky
Actors include: Christopher Lee, Donald Sutherland, Peter Cushing
Genre: Horror
Length: 98 minutes
Banned: Finland
Country: UK

Review:
This is one of the earliest anthologies from the Amicus company (which is pretty much exactly like Hammer only slightly different). It's a tale about a Tarot reader (Cushing) on a train who tells 5 passengers what their death will be. The first story is about an architect who goes to his home only to meet up with a werewolf out for vengeance. The next is about a Doctor who's new wife just happens to be a vampire. Next my favorite, a hilarious tale about a mysterious murderous plant that attacks people! Then we have another funny tale about a hapless musician who happens to go to a voodoo ceremony secretly to try and steal their melody to make into a hit (I'm not even lying I swear). Then the last one is about an art critic who is mocked by an artist. He is so frustrated that he actually runs the man over, but is a little surprised when the hand that was amputated in the accident comes after him. Thing was most (if not all) of these tales were predictable, and a little on the too silly to be frightening path. Inventive absolutely, and well told, yes! It's just probably the least exciting Amicus Anthology that I've found yet. Still this is very easy to enjoy and a must see, it's just not as exciting as it should have been and I was left wanting a little more.

Dr. Lamb (1992) aka Gou Yeung Yi Sang

3.5 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Danny Lee, Hin Sing 'Billy' Tang
Written by: Law Kam Fai
Actors include: Danny Lee, Simon Yam, Kent Cheng
Genre: Horror
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Singapore
Country: Hong Kong

Review:
So this is a category three film which means yes it's rather extreme...although it does take a while for the bloodbath to begin, it will begin I assure you. It's sort of the Hong Kong take on Seven (only not clever, surprising or really creepy). It's about a taxi driver who just happens to pick up women in the rain and dismembers them, slices them up and takes pictures. He is just getting busted as the film begins then of course we listen to his confession and in flashbacks we learn about his atrocities. It's simply too lighthearted and jokish in manner to be taken seriously and although some cry this is disturbing, I'd have to say it brushed right off. Still it is very easy to watch and it does have some interesting moments and things going for it, I just wouldn't say it's a classic or anything. Stick to "Ebola Syndrome" and "The Untold Story" first!

Dr. Jekyll & Sister Hyde (1971)

4 / 5
Tagline: The sexual transformation of a man into a woman will actually take place before your very eyes!
Directed by: Roy Ward Baker
Written by: Brian Clemens, Robert Louis Stevenson
Actors include: Ralph Bates, Martine Beswick, Gerald Sim
Genre: Horror
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Finland
Country: UK

Review:
This is a very strange and fun take on the Jekyll/Hyde thing and Jack the Ripper really courtesy of Hammer. In this take Dr. Henry Jekyll is actually trying to make a formula for eternal youth, but it needs female hormones (which he has to obtain from young female corpses of course). Anyhow, he takes the formula only it starts transforming him into a Woman...his "sister" of course. Remarkably the two actors look extremely similar and they did a great job with that. There is also romantic conflict as Sister Hyde is in love with the man upstairs, and Dr. Jekyll loves the sister to the man upstairs. As bodies start to go missing and suspicion is cast upon Dr. Hyde, so he is forced to start being a lady more often. Only thing is he loses control over his ability to change and things get messy. It's got blood, interesting story, good acting and yes a man turning into a woman. It's a load of fun, and although it's strange it's immensely watchable and I would definitely recommend this one.

Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde (1920)

4.5 / 5
Tagline: The World's Greatest Actor In A Tremendous Story Of Man At His Best And Worst!
Directed by: John S. Robertson
Written by: Robert Louis Stevenson, Clara Beranger
Actors include: John Barrymore, Charles Lane, Brandon Hurst
Genre: Horror
Length: 80 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is about the good vs. evil duality of man of course. We meet Dr. Henry Jekyll who has a lovely fiancee and as his friend put it "he's the nicest man I know even if his views are entirely different than mine" or something similar. He discusses with his fiancee's father about the good and evil stuff and then he gets inspired. He creates a potion that allows his evil side out (and is his evil side ugly). At first he's just brutish and hideous, but then he starts to take control and Jekyll has no choice but to have his nice side pushed in the background. Soon Hyde works up to a murder and then everything goes nutty! What I don't understand is why people seem to somewhat accept Hyde (ladies especially). There are a few other "how the hecks" but for the most part it's wrapped up in a tidy little package. The make-up and acting in this are pretty darned awesome and it's a great tale. Any fan of silent horror should definitely give this a view.

Drive-In Massacre (1976)

1 / 5
Tagline: Your nightmares are about to come true
Directed by: Stu Segall
Written by: George "Buck" Flower, John F. Goff
Actors include: Bruce Kimball, Adam Lawrence, Douglas Gudbye
Genre: Horror
Length: 78 minutes
Banned: West Germany
Country: USA

Review:
Y'know, I was truly excited when I came across a copy of this one. It had been featured in the "Splatter" section of my horror reference book and therefore I'd decided that it was a "must see". Well I learned that sword slayings at a drive-in theatre is a lot less exciting in practice than it sounds in theory. We have lame Police interaction where of course they are inept at catching "sword guy", and although it is a bit bloody it's super poorly executed. The story doesn't seem to go anywhere and you'd swear they made it up as they went. It's so boring in parts that there is nothing to do but laugh at how inept everyone and everything in this film are. I have seen worse than this one, but it certainly belongs towards the bottom with stuff only viewable for horror fanatics and fans of horribly bad movies.

Driller Killer (1979)

3.5 / 5
Tagline: It will shatter you!
Directed By: Abel Ferrara
Written By: Nicholas St. John
Actors Include: Abel Ferrara, Carolyn Marz, Baybi Day
Genre: Horror, Drama, Thriller
Length: 96 minutes
Banned: Germany, Ireland
Country: USA

Review:
This is a dark and difficult print to watch film in places, but it's worth it if you like gritty slasher films. Especially nice is the fact that it takes place in New York in the '70s and it's ultra hip with punk music and everything (not a punk band I've ever heard but still neato). It's very much got a do-it-yerself feel yet as much as it benefits from this, it's a bit limiting too. Still the atmosphere is fabulous and it's actually quite well done all things considered. The biggest complaint I have is that it does drag on a fair bit and it takes a while for stuff to happen, but I actually really did enjoy it once I got into it. It's about a struggling artist, and his roommates and a need for money and an annoyance at a nearby practicing punk band. As the films goes on we seem to watch him drift further and further from reality until he takes to the streets with a power drill. Gore-o-philes may be depressed because it's not as graphic as one could expect but it still has some great and bloody scenes, it's just more of a drama most of the time than an actual horror film. Definitely better than I had thought it would be since it's reputation is pretty dire.

Dr. Giggles (1992)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: Sorry...the Doctor is in...sane
Directed by: Manny Coto
Written by: Manny Coto, Graeme Whifler
Actors include: Holly Marie Combs, Cliff De Young, Glenn Quinn
Genre: Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA/Japan

Review:
Very much like "The Dentist" it tries to prey upon fears already instilled in us. We have the sun of a mass murdering doctor who escapes the institution to seek revenge. There is a bit of a doctor theme here but they could have done so much more with this idea as it is a good one. The stupid title and idea that he giggles when he's going really looney is well it suits the film but it's not that good. The comedy elements again take away any sort of tension that could have been built here. It's just another silly time passer which barely makes a passing grade.

Dreamcatcher (2003)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: Four friends hung a dreamcatcher in their cabin. It's about to catch something it cannot stop.
Directed by: Lawrence Kasdan
Written by: Stephen King, William Goldman
Actors include: Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee
Genre: Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 136 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA/Canada/Australia

Review:
Even an all-star cast (pretty nearly) and one of the best horror writers ever are involved here (King) it somehow isn't very good. The story is about four friends who since childhood have been linked by a secret. They all get together and go hunting but things take a turn for the strange when a man turns up who was lost in the woods during a blizzard. Soon they learn what he's been infected with and that it's extraterrestrial related. I don't want to give more away but even with an semi-exciting idea just some things couldn't be and weren't properly filmed. It's also just too long and doesn't pay off very well yet it could have been worse I suppose!

Dracula's Daughter (1936) aka Daughter Of Dracula

4 / 5
Tagline: Look out, she'll get you!
Directed by: Lambert Hillyer
Written by: Bram Stoker, David O. Selznick
Actors include: Otto Kruger, Gloria Holden, Marguerite Churchill
Genre: Horror
Length: 71 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
So once again I found myself captivated with an early Universal horror picture. To be truthful there isn't an awful lot of actual horror here, but it's a slow moving atmospheric delight. Gloria Holden as Dracula's Daughter is simply captivating and even scandalous! Her outfits are rather revealing, but the coolest part about her is the eerily calm way she behaves. Her assistant looks like a cross between Alfalfa and Benecio Del Toro...seriously, all that and he's hilarious! The story is that a beautiful young woman shows up to view Dracula's remains, and soon we learn that of course it was his daughter. She too has a thirst for blood but struggles with wanting to be free the entire time. The biggest downfall is that it's a bit talky, and towards the end the excitement dies down a little, but still I truly enjoyed this film. Definitely one to watch, once you've seen all the original Universal pictures first!

Dracula aka Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

3.5 / 5
Tagline: Beware
Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola
Written by: Bram Stoker, James V. Hart
Actors include: Gary Oldman, Wynona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins
Genre: Horror, Fantasy, Romance
Length: 128 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This has a wonderful cast and it's a pretty decent retelling of a popular favorite (it's a relatively faithful adaptation of the book from what I understand). We have a young lawyer who is sent to a remote location in Europe where Dracula catches him. It's rather dramatic and the story is the highlight here, it doesn't end up falling into the slasher or gore thing at all in fact they do a remarkable job keeping this as a love story which is very very dark. It's quite lovely but it may not curb your horror cravings if you like high energy stuff.

Dracula (1931)

5 / 5
Tagline: The story of the strangest passion the world has ever known!
Directed by: Tod Browning
Written by: Bram Stoker, Hamilton Deane, John L. Balderston, Garrett Fort, Dudley Murphy, Louis Bromfield, Tod Browning, Max Cohen, Louis Stevens
Actors include: Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler, David Manners
Genre: Horror, Romance
Length: 128 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
So I honestly put off watching the old monster movies for as long as I humanly could, so I damned myself really because after watching this I feel like I get so many references I've missed previously. Well that and it's one of the most amazing movies I've ever seen regardless of the year it came out in and regardless of the hype, it's probably even better than you'd anticipate too! It's in black and white of course, but it actually adds to the shadows and the creepy backgrounds used in the film. The acting is slow and extremely intentional, but that being said everyone moves in a creepy deliberate fashion and it's really awesome. The story itself is of course timeless and fantastic, the best part is that the story has a sense of humor that even holds up to this day. The character of Renfield is one of the funniest and greatest I've ever seen, and Lugosi is every bit as perfect as Dracula as you've ever heard. I truly enjoyed every minute of this film, and I honestly think anyone would. It's beautiful, dark, amusing and just a stunning delight to watch from start to finish. Just don't go in expecting a ton of the red, because it's not really that sort of movie. Definitely one of the greatest films of all time, horror or not, it's opened the door to old horror movies to me finally...try and stop me now!

Dorian Gray (1970) aka Das Bildnis Des Dorian Gray aka Il Dio Chiamato Dorian aka The Evils Of Dorian Gray aka The Secret Of Dorian Gray

3 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Massimo Dallamano
Written by: Marcello Coscia, Massimo Dallamano
Actors include: Helmut Berger, Richard Todd, Herbert Lom
Genre: Horror
Length: 101 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: UK/Italy/West Germany

Review:
A very cool story, but not the greatest execution. The story is simple, Dorian Gray is in love and had a friend paint is portrait. He's self obsessed and can't stand the thought of aging. He ends up making a deal with the devil to be permanently young and attractive. Although he gets to keep his looks, his insides begin changing and he becomes a horrid person. The painting reflects how ugly he actually is which is kinda neat too. It's quite the lesson really and a great idea just not the most entertaining film.

Doppelganger (1993)

2.5 / 5
Tagline: What if your deepest, darkest desire came to life?
Directed by: Avi Nesher
Written by: Avi Nesher
Actors include: Drew Barrymore, George Newbern, Leslie Hope
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 104 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Barrymore makes this at least tolerable but she is pretty much the only saving grace. The story is pretty lame, a teenager moves after she is implicated in a murder. She winds up shacking up with a writer, but some strange things keep happening. Is it Barrymore's evil twin or is it her? I think it all comes down to who cares? It's poorly written and boring and really there isn't much here worthwhile, I'm not even sure why Barrymore participated. Oh well, definitely one to try to avoid if you get the chance but there are far more painful films than this one.

Don't Look Now (1973) aka AS Venezia... Un Dicembre Rosso Shocking

4 / 5
Tagline: A Psychic Thriller
Directed by: Nicholas Roeg
Written by: Daphne Du Maurier, Allan Scott
Actors include: Donald Sutherland, Julie Christy, Hilary Mason
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 110 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: Italy/UK

Review:
What a strange film this one is. I've heard extremely positive things about this and the rating is impossibly high nearly everywhere I look. I'm afraid I found this to be a little disappointing really as the ending left me feeling relatively disatisfied and with many questions. I can't give that away at all because really that is what makes the film so interesting and it's quite a well guarded secret. I can however give you a bit of the premise, you see Donald Sutherland has some sort of psychic ability only he doesn't know it. He and Julie Christy have two children together, a boy and girl who play down by the pond, but the little girl drowns. Then they run into a psychic who says their daughter is with them, and it goes on from there. It's very confusing up until the end but artfully shot, and very well acted. There is a really long and dull sex scene between Donald and Christy and now I've seen too much! Although this does have several things going for it like gloomy atmosphere and quite a twist (and a frightening scene for those afraid of heights) I didn't think it was exciting or scary as promised. Still it's worthwhile and interesting, perhaps this is one of those things that needs to be seen multiple times for full effect.

Don't Go To Sleep (1982)

3 / 5 Feb '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Richard Lang
Written by: Ned Wynn
Actors include: Dennis Weaver, Valerie Harper, Ruth Gordon
Genre: Horror, Mystery
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
Huh, well with a fantastic cast and Aaron Spelling Productions behind this picture I'd expected a winner. I was particularly excited about watching this made-for-tv movie after watching the awesome "Dark Night Of The Scarecrow", the two may be similar in ratings on IMDB but this one doesn't even compare. Anyhow, the story is about a car accident that took the life of a family's oldest daughter that was caused by a prank. She comes back in ghost form for revenge with the help of her sister Jennifer. It's just predictable, not very rewarding and not very creepy. A few good ideas within and really they could have made this exciting, but instead they opted to challenge the viewer to stay awake and I'm afraid it was a bit challenging during parts. It's not scary, not bloody and not shocking, I guess perhaps this is freakier if you are a kid or something. Still the pizza cutter scene is pretty darned freaky I'll give it that!

Don't Go Near The Park (1981)

3 / 5 Apr. '09
Tagline: Runaways are attacked by evil beings from the far past.
Directed by: Lawrence D. Foldes
Written by: Linwood Chase, Lawrence D. Foldes
Actors include: Tamara Taylor, Meeno Peluce, Aldo Ray
Genre: Horror
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Canada
Country: USA

Review:
Zoinks...while I often like being told what not to do, this time around I was a little confused about things. For example I went through nearly the entire film thinking it was an Italian picture (due to random pointless and unexplained strange instances that kept happening) but found out that nope, it was a US release. The main story is easy to follow, a witch with 2 children curses them to age 10 years for every year of their life (this much was repeated at least twice so even morons can follow). The three of them (mother witch included) all must munch on guts in order to maintain their youth. This movie basically has no budget, I mean you could tell they were ripping through rubber then covering themselves in orangey-red goo...it was all very silly. Especially when you consider this is a video nasty...erm if you thought it was realistic you haven't seen another movie ever. The doomed to age couple have a daughter who oddly looks like Miley Cyrus who runs away. She foolishly gets in a van that is covered in shag, filled with pervs and has blackened windows (c'mon...) and they try to molest her, she escapes then goes into the forest (which is apparently a park?). She meets a homeless boy and his drifter friend Cowboy who happen to be living with the witch (I think). Anyhow if you like bad movies, definitely this was easy to watch and filled with ridiculous things and dialog. Another example is a woman being interrupted in the shower by a stranger who then rents a room to the perv? Or the time when a guy shoots freakin' lazer beams from his eyes? But if you want something that you won't feel silly for having watched, I'd avoid!

Don't Go In The Woods.....Alone! (1982) aka The Forest 2

2 / 5
Tagline: Everyone has nightmares about the ugliest way to die.
Directed by: James Bryan
Written by: Garth Eliassen
Actors include: Jack McClelland, Mary Gail Artz, James P. Hayden
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Germany
Country: USA

Review:
File this under so incredibly bad that it's hilarious from the theme song which is to the tune of "Teddy Bear's Picnic" "if you go down to the woods today you probably will be thrilled, if you go down in the woods today you probably will be killed, there's a friendly beast that lurks about, he likes to feast, you won't get out without being killed and chopped into little pieces." If that didn't sell you, how about if I tell you that the women in the film look like men...ugly men...really quite a change I guess and perhaps I shouldn't be so harsh, but wow I've never seen them cast such unlikeable characters in any film ever. Not to mention they cannot even come close to acting, and I'm going to bet they just made up the plot as they went. Dry patches in the film where nothing happens are impossible, but for example a scene where a man in a wheelchair goes for a HIKE by himself uphill....then meets with a man in a yetti suit and is pushed off the hill are priceless. The yetti terrorizes the other campers, but not nearly soon enough. Hilarious and dreadful all at the same time.