Creep (2004)

3.5 / 5 May '11
Tagline: Your journey terminates here.
Directed by: Christopher Smith
Written by: Christopher Smith
Actors include: Franka Potente, Sean Harris, Vas Blackwood
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I had no idea going into this film that it was basically a remake of Death Line [Raw Meat] complete with shots of Franka Potente running (ala Lola rennt [Run Lola Run]). Even so it was pretty amusing, especially the way they set the situation up. Kate (Franka Potente) is on her way home from a party when she falls asleep in the subway waiting for a train. She wakes up only to find herself locked in and under attack by a creepy co-worker and of course she seems to make the wrong choice with every turn. While trying to find a place to escape she ends up in the underground with the Homeless people. However in her attempt to escape she finds something far more sinister down below. So it does have some carnage in it, though it's mainly one of those building tension escape type scenarios which is just fine with me. It is relatively well made and the cast make it a little more appealing then it could have been with unknowns. Thanks to horror fiends Axemaster and Happywax (http://doomgoryumshorroremporium.blogspot.com/) for this recommend, definitely a fun little horror flick for most.

Availability:  On DVD

Calvaire (2004), aka The Ordeal

3.5 / 5 Apr '11
Tagline: Some people would kill for company.
Directed by: Fabrice Du Welz
Written by: Fabrice Du Welz, Romain Protat
Actors include: Laurent Lucas, Brigitte Lahaie, Gigi Coursigny
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
The plot will sound familiar to this French flick, a fellow (called Marc) is stuck in a remote swampy area in the rain when his vehicle breaks down. A weird Man looking for a missing dog ushers him to a bizarre Inn where he takes a room for the night. The Inn keeper promises to fix Marc's broken van but is very insistent that he not go into the nearby town. Let's just say things get very insane from there, and Marc isn't exactly free to leave. It boasts a strange ambiance considering that the film was actually shot with only natural settings, no studio fixings. Sure it's not the most disturbing film of it's kind but the black comedy touches keep things a bit lighter. At least it does boast a bit 'o blood and some horror gratuity and tension. It definitely kept my attention, although I'd hoped for a tad more originality yet still worthy of a gander. Oh and be on the look out for Euro sleaze actress Brigitte Lahaie, definitely the newest film I've seen her in...and yes she is still taking her top off.

Availability:  On DVD

Marebito (2004) aka The Stranger From Afar

3 / 5 Nov '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Takashi Shimizu
Written by: Chiaki Konaka
Actors include: Shinya Tsukamoto, Tomomi Miyashita, Kazuhiro Nakahara
Genre: Horror
Length: 92 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Considering it has a reasonable reputation I was a rather disappointed in this J-horror offering. Granted it's not your typical long black haired Asian ghost story...well not really, and there is some creativity that went into this but the execution was weak. The story is about a cameraman who is obsessed with capturing the moment of fear on someone's retina. He ends up filming a fellow who stabs himself in the head and then tries to seek what might have scared him into the suicide. This leads him to the subway into a strange area where he sees a young naked girl chained up. He somehow gets her home and keeps her as a pet calling her F., but the story gets more unusual from there (it reminded me of The Little Shop of Horrors in a way) as she feeds on blood. It's bloody yes, but silly most definitely plus the story although somewhat mysterious is kind of obvious a little sooner than I think they meant for it to be. It's also ridiculously ponderous and so far from scary that it's nearly laughable. I must admit as the film went on it got a little better but the first half was pretty insufferably boring. Points for trying and heck you might want to give this a whirl but it's not something I'll ever watch again.

Availability:  On DVD

50 Worst Movies Ever (2004)

3.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: N/A
Written by: Brandon Christopher
Actors include: Carlos Larkin
Genre: Documentary
Length: 60 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well this was an interesting countdown of crap, much of this I didn't know much about, a few of the films I'd seen and quite a few I have in various box sets to watch. The way they've put it together is from clips of the films with narration, some have more time spent on them then others. It's curious why some of the films they chose to have rather large uninteresting info on, yet some of the tales that sound fascinating only get a few seconds of time. None the less, it's a combination of bad horror/exploitation/sci-fi mainly with some other major uh-ohs thrown in. Of course you'll see major flop movies like Ishtar, Leonard Part 6, plus many Edward D. Wood, Jr. which are all expected. They throw in some bad movies that are campy and entertaining like The Killer Shrews, Spider Baby and my personal favorite on the list Bloodsucking Freaks. It's strange though because some films one would expect to be on here aren't, (Manos: The Hands of Fate for example) but it all comes down to personal taste. At least this introduced me to several films I'll never want to see as well as several I've bought that I'm not going to rush to put in the player. It's likely far more entertaining than watching most of those movies plus they don't spoil any (although it may not be possible) for the audience. Entertaining little countdown, nice to see a worst list rather than yet another best list.

Availability:  Not On DVD

3 Extremes (2004) aka Saam Gaang Yi aka 3 Extremes II aka San Geng aka Three

4 / 5

Tagline: From the Nightmares of 3 Horror Masters

Directed By: Fruit Chan, Takashi Miike, Chan-wook Park

Written By: Haruko Fukushima, Lilian Lee, Chan-wook Park, Bun Saikou

Actors Include: Ling Bai, Byung-hun Lee, Kyoko Hasegawa

Genre: Horror

Length: 125 minutes

Banned: Nope

Review:

When dealing with anything "extreme" like say this film, there are two ways the films seem to go. They are either low budget, predictable and gory as heck, or you get something wonderfully creative and extreme like these stories. These have things to gross us out (which of course we want) yet the stories are well put together, it appears to have a budget and it actually works as a good movie. Well what this is are three short stories from different directors. It starts off fantastically with "Dumplings" the best in the set and actually one of the best Asian tales I've seen in a long while. I do not want to ruin this in any way but it's about some dumplings which give youth to the consumer but they are made of something rather disgusting (you'll see). Anyhow that tale seemed too short but fortunately on the DVD there is a longer version of this tale too (but I haven't seen that one yet). Next we move on to "Cut" which is demented and sadistic but the ending is less than satisfying. A young Man finds himself in a terrible situation when he finds his wife super glued to the piano (and she's a pianist). Can he stop the torture being inflicted upon her before it's too late? It's rather bloody, weird and generally artistic looking which I really appreciated. It's twisted, but heck so was the opening story. Both stories to this point are grotesquely fascinating, but can the third story hold up? Nope, sorry but it in fact doesn't. It's not impossible to watch or anything, but the last tale "Box" which is confusing, and non satisfying but bizarre enough to warrant at least one viewing. It's something to do with two gymnastic sisters, and well a box and fire and....well you'll see. I'd definitely recommend watching this trilogy but I do question the order of things, who ends a movie with it's worst material? Anyhow watchy watchy, especially "Dumplings"!

Availability:  On DVD
 

100 Scariest Movie Moments (2004)

4 / 5 Apr '09

Tagline: Presenting the 100 scariest movie moments: a countdown of the greatest moments of cinema shock.

Directed by: Kevin Kaufman
Written by: Patrick Moses

Actors include: Keiko Agena, Krista Allen, Clive Barker

Genre: Documentary, Horror

Length: 300 minutes

Banned: Nope

Review:

So Bravo TV did a countdown of the scariest moments in movie history, it aired in a 5 part series and I watched 'em all! I've seen most of the films on the list, in fact I've seen all but 8 of the 100 listed. Some of the choices I wouldn't say I agree with like "Child's Play"...that is scary how? Others that I don't feel fit the bill were "Shallow Grave" (it was cool but not scary), "Zombie" (again cool but scary?), "Demons" (colorful but not frightening), "The Game" (good concept but not scary), "It's Alive" (silly never near scary), "Scream" (erm no way especially not at #13) and so on. I'd do the ordering differently of course, have different things on the list and whatnot but still an absolutely reasonable and interesting countdown. Being a horror fan I didn't learn a heck of a lot, it pushed me to watch some of the ones I've not seen yet and I've learned a few tales about the movies which was interesting but most was common. It's also nice that they got footage for most of them as well as some of the people that were involved. They needed to ditch the interview with the ditzy twins that have nothing to do with anything though. It's not perfect but seldom is a countdown to please everyone, I do think that nearly anyone could get something from this at the very least.

Availability:  Not on DVD