Rubber (2010)

4 / 5 May '11
Tagline: Are You Tired of the Expected?
Directed by: Quentin Dupieux
Written by: Quentin Dupieux
Actors include: Stephen Spinella, Wings Hauser, Roxane Mesquida
Genre: Black Comedy, Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I found this to be instantly engaging and the surrealism was quite charming. The very fact that they managed to make a movie about a tire and made it interesting deserves applause. The tire in question seems to learn that it enjoys running things over, but it has even more fun once it starts exploding heads through some sort of telepathy (seriously). The tire also becomes obsessed with a woman as our story goes on. Don't focus too much on what it's about because it just is and it makes no bones about that. It's a very strange format in that there is a side story with the audience who happens to be watching the tire. It's sort of like an essay or commentary that is going on while the actual story is too, it really adds a unique perspective. The odd thing is, that it is effective as a black comedy, it is effective as a horror film (lots of red stuff) and yet it feels like an art film too. Definitely an inventive and entertaining horror film, thanks so much to Happywax (Doomgoryums Horror Emporium) for the recommendation.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Calvaire (2004), aka The Ordeal

3.5 / 5 Apr '11
Tagline: Some people would kill for company.
Directed by: Fabrice Du Welz
Written by: Fabrice Du Welz, Romain Protat
Actors include: Laurent Lucas, Brigitte Lahaie, Gigi Coursigny
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
The plot will sound familiar to this French flick, a fellow (called Marc) is stuck in a remote swampy area in the rain when his vehicle breaks down. A weird Man looking for a missing dog ushers him to a bizarre Inn where he takes a room for the night. The Inn keeper promises to fix Marc's broken van but is very insistent that he not go into the nearby town. Let's just say things get very insane from there, and Marc isn't exactly free to leave. It boasts a strange ambiance considering that the film was actually shot with only natural settings, no studio fixings. Sure it's not the most disturbing film of it's kind but the black comedy touches keep things a bit lighter. At least it does boast a bit 'o blood and some horror gratuity and tension. It definitely kept my attention, although I'd hoped for a tad more originality yet still worthy of a gander. Oh and be on the look out for Euro sleaze actress Brigitte Lahaie, definitely the newest film I've seen her in...and yes she is still taking her top off.

Availability:  On DVD

Horror Hospital (1973) aka Computer Killers

3 / 5 Apr '11
Tagline: The Operation is a Success ... When the Patient Dies
Directed by: Antony Balch
Written by: Alan Watson, Antony Balch
Actors include: Michael Gough, Robin Askwith, Vanessa Shaw
Genre: Horror, Black Comedy, Sci-Fi
Length: 100 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is one silly campy and ridiculous mess of a movie but parts of it were at least amusing. It's about a rock singer (who definitely looks like a member of the Rolling Stones) who wrote a really fantastic song (so he says) that is ripped off by his band. He needs a breather so he sees an advert for "Hairy Holidays" (what?) and signs up immediately. He happens to meet up with a young lady (with an identical haircut) at the train station on the way to the retreat. Of course she is headed to the same retreat to meet her Aunt Harris (who happens to be one of the staff at this place). This place isn't quite what they expected...in fact it's a hospital where the evil Dr. Storm (Michael Gough) uses clients to perform mind control surgery of some sort. It really doesn't bother with things like logic or scares, it's very much a black comedy really. It at least does bother to offer a unique decapitation method you won't soon forget but little else is worth remembering.

Availability:  On DVD

La Nuit De La Mort aka The Night Of Death aka Les Griffes De La Mort aka The Lady of Death (1980)

3.5 / 5 Apr '11

Tagline: You Are What They Eat!

Directed by: Raphaël Delpard

Written by: Raphaël Delpard, Richard Joffo

Actors include: Isabelle Goguey, Betty Beckers, Charlotte de Turckheim

Genre: Horror, Black Comedy

Length: 94 minutes

Banned: Nope

Review:

A strangely obscure French horror film from the '80s that finally has a proper DVD release from Synapse films. The plot is about a girl who decides to work for this strange retirement home as a Caregiver. All of the patients are oddly vegetarians, the rules of the house are very strict and she's told her predecessor quit without even saying goodbye. There is also a creepy little song that the Headmistress of the house likes to play on the piano and sing, and fellow in the home who is extremely hungry. Soon it becomes clear that something else is going on and she has to make a run for it. The story is filled with many colorful characters and little blackly comedic jokes which I liked. It's also surprisingly gory (now the effects aren't great but not bad) relatively well acted and entertaining enough that it's easy watch. It's just that the mystery is quite obvious and the film treats the viewer like they are stupid in places. Still I really find it odd that this is such a rarity, it's not the greatest thing ever but certainly worth watching for horror fans.

Availability:  On DVD

Treevenge (2008)

4 / 5 Apr '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jason Eisener
Written by: Rob Cotterill, Jason Eisener
Actors include: Lex Gigeroff, Sarah Dunsworth, Lex Gigeroff
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Length: 16 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a cute little Canadian low budget short film that asks the question....what happens when abused trees get pissed off? The idea is that some maniacal lumberjacks sadistically torture trees before they wind up as Christmas decorations. The trees have had enough and start to fight back in some insanely gruesome ways. Yes it's silly, and strange but in a good way, definitely some hilarious moments in this one. Thanks to my new horror lovin' friend Myron for the recommendation on this one. Definitely a Christmas must for the holidays!

Availability:  Not on DVD currently I think

C'est Arrivé Près De Chez Vous (1992) aka Man Bites Dog

3.5 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: A Killer Comedy
Directed by: Rémy Belvaux
Written by: André Bonzel, Rémy Belvaux
Actors include: Benoît Poelvoorde, Jacqueline Poelvoorde-Pappaert, Nelly Pappaert
Genre: Black Comedy, Crime, Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well this is an unusual French black comedy that was shot in black and white involving the humorous exploits and babblings of a killer. While I did find this occasionally hilarious, (especially his advice about weighing down bodies) I didn't think this was disturbing at all. Our killer offs just about anyone who crosses his path and it seems like without purpose or explanation most of the time. As his rampage goes on he begins to involve the camera crew (it's set up documentary style for some reason) and soon they learn they are in some dangerous territory. It is rather stylish and it's a different approach to serial killers than most I'll give it that. I guess I just expected a little more, and a bit more context though I found it cute they show him with his family. Also I think it goes a bit far with the babbling although occasionally interesting. Definitely a strange little film that most seem to enjoy, I liked it, I just didn't love it.

Availability:  On DVD

The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (1976)

4 / 5 Nov '10
Tagline: Ask Her No Questions And Nobody Dies.
Directed by: Nicolas Gessner
Written by: Laird Koenig
Actors include: Jodie Foster, Scott Jacoby, Martin Sheen
Genre: Thriller, Drama, Horror
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is one unusual yet likeable '70s film with impressive acting and a compelling story. Jodie Foster is the star of this one playing a brilliant and independent 13 year old girl named Rynn. She's tougher than nails, and cunning all because she has to keep her secret...even if it means murder! It's not just a horror film, in fact it's very psychological and plot driven...heck in some ways it's a bizarre romance. Scott Jacoby (who played the lead in Bad Ronald) steals the show (which is impressive considering Foster's performance) as a dorky yet sweet magician called Mario who is Foster's romantic interest. She also has a problem with an obnoxious meddling neighbor/landlady and her perverted sadistic son Frank (Martin Sheen). In many ways this is exploitation, and apparently Foster didn't really like making this film because the director kept insisting on nudity from her (she was 14 I think at the time) but she resisted and her older sister was the stand-in for that scene. It goes where maybe one would think it wouldn't, but at the same time it's sort of a depressing film and a black comedy all at once too. Really quite a memorable and creative little film that deserves to be seen by any fan of '70s cinema, a really weird classic indeed.

Availability:  On DVD

Concerto per pistola solista (1970) aka Weekend Murders

3.5 / 5 Aug '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Michele Lupo
Written by: Sergio Donati, Massimo Felisatti
Actors include: Anna Moffo, Ida Galli, Gastone Moschin
Genre: Giallo, Horror, Comedy, Thriller
Length: 98 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This was kind of a neat little black comedy/giallo offering, rather a strange hybrid but a serviceable one. The characters here are beyond colorful and weird, the story is revolving around a will and of course there is a murderer at large that seems to be bumping off the folks in the family. Georgie is a son who doesn't seem to be all there, he likes to play dead and act death scenes out to freak out his overbearing Mother. There is a local Police man who looks like an idiot but probably isn't as dumb as he looks, also a detective is part of the tribe who seems to actually be the idiot. There are many others too and of course one naturally will try to figure out the plot but I think it's more fun on this one to just ride it out and enjoy it and wait for the cards to be dealt to us. It's not as creative and bloody and far out as some of the other giallo films but it does succeed in being amusing and a little bit different. It's also strange that this is an Italian feature but it was shot in Britain and it feels very British. Not the greatest but recommended for fans of the genre who wouldn't mind a chuckle or two.

Availability:  On DVD

Street Trash (1987)

3 / 5 Aug '10
Tagline: Things in New York are about to go down the toilet...
Directed by:  J. Michael Muro
Written by: Roy Frumkes
Actors include: Mike Lackey, Bill Chepil, Vic Noto
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Length: 102 minutes
Banned: Singapore

Review:
Yawn, well this is a Troma style film in many ways, it's beyond cheap, the acting is abysmal and the affects are very lame but the film is overloaded with them. The plot is about some Viper alcohol that was discovered in a basement, that is being sold for a dollar a bottle. Hobos buy it of course and soon they find themselves melting or exploding oozing different colored goo and making a big mess everywhere. Some of the Hobos that have not ingested the alcohol are of course pitted against the mutants or what have you. There truly isn't much of a plot but be prepared for several pointless and boring scenes to fill the time between the ridiculous effects. I really couldn't wait for it to be over which indicated to me that I really do need more than goo to make a film entertaining. Perhaps when I was a much younger this might have been more appealing, as it was it really was trash, I suppose they can't be sued for false advertising?

Availability:  On DVD

Die Zärtlichkeit der Wölfe (1973) aka The Tenderness Of Wolves

4 / 5 Aug '10
Tagline: The First Gay Vampire Movie
Directed by: Uli Lommel
Written by: Kurt Raab
Actors include: Kurt Raab, Jeff Rodan, Margit Carstensen
Genre: Drama, Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although it's not exactly a horror film I still found it to be rather captivating and interesting. This tale is based upon the Vampire of Düsseldorf, the same tale that the film M is based upon. I actually prefered this retelling as it wasn't so police heavy and it was more character driven but I'm in the minority with that belief. Fritz Haarmann (Kurt Raab) is a strange character known for helping out poor boys and giving people meat and whatnot. He's also known by some as a bit of a criminal and a nuisance, but most seem to like him. We know he has a live in male lover, and also that he likes to bring home pretty young men and drink their blood before butchering them and serving them to others. The thing is, the film is never graphic, well okay that's a slight exaggeration, some of the set and genitals are graphic sure but as far as gore and whatnot goes, it's implied. It's all in the dialogue, and Raab's acting that really pull this film from being rather mundane to something quite special and dark. It also has a rather black sense of humor that kept me chuckling even through the horrendous things that seem to be going on in the tale. This won't be for everyone but I really enjoyed it, it is artfully made with a great cast and authentic feeling sets and everything else. Recommended to people who want to see an entirely different side of vampirism and who are looking for more of a drama rather than a horror film.

Availability:  On DVD

Big Meat Eater (1982)

3.5 / 5  Apr '10
Tagline: Are you on his shopping list?
Directed by: Chris Windsor
Written by: Laurence Keane, Phil Savath
Actors include: George Dawson, Andrew Gillies, Clarence 'Big' Miller
Genre: Sci-Fi, Musical, Comedy
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is unlike many other musicals though I suspect the director has seen The Apple and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's got a full cast of people who can't sing a lick, and a plot that is out of this world...literally! It's extremely cheap and very uneven as a story but it has some big highlights. It's about a joyful butcher (who reminds me of Buster from Arrested Development) in need of an assistant. Enter Abdullah who happens to have problems with his anger and killing people. The gleefully ignorant Butcher hires on Abdullah who has some hilarious moments, especially when grinding meat by hand. The biggest highlight is a song that sounds like "We Didn't Start The Fire" (though it came out before) only it's filled with funny scientific jargon, I was in hysterics! There is also a plot about toy robots who are interested in the butcher shop because their meat that is dissolved in acid makes good fuel for them (balonium). If only the whole movie could have been that funny I'd have rated it a heck of a lot higher. Still fans of absurd cinema and bizarre musicals need to see this, I can't believe something this odd came out of Canada.

Availability:  On DVD

The Cremator (1969) aka Spalovac mrtvol

2.5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Juraj Herz
Written by: Ladislav Fuks
Actors include: Rudolf Hrusínský, Vlasta Chramostová, Jana Stehnová
Genre: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I guess this one just wasn't for me...over my head or too artsy or whatever you want to say. I did think the black comedy element was rather amusing, it did give me a few giggles. I can also recognize that it is a rather disturbing portrait really, a Cremator who absolutely loves his job wayyy too much. He also gets in with the wrong crowd and he begins to be obsessed with ridding the world of the Jews. Only trouble his, his family are part Jewish (you see where this is going) and as his dementia grows well let's just say the movie gets crazier. It's extremely dark, the artsy way it's shot seems to be a little too much for me, I found it nearly schizophrenic in places and hard to pay attention too. Unnecessarily obtuse I guess, but I'm sure that is just me as so many love this film. It's depraved sure, but not in a way I find very effective, watch it if you are curious because well I'm in the minority.

Availability:  On DVD

Dark Star (1974)

3.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: What would you be like after 20 years aboard DARK STAR the spaced-out spaceship. The ultimate cosmic comedy!
Directed by: John Carpenter
Written by: John Carpenter, Dan O'Bannon
Actors include: Brian Narelle, Cal Kuniholm, Dre Pahich
Genre: Comedy, Sci-Fi
Length: 83 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap...no I'm not a chicken, just shocked by how amateurish this film looks. At the same time, that is the reason the film is so hilarious! It started out as a short film project for John Carpenter that was added onto to make a full-length film and on that level it's pretty awesome what he accomplished. It's about four spacemen (and their dead Captain who can be unfrozen to ask questions to) who are on a mission to destroy unstable planets to colonize them. As they come close to finishing their mission new trouble appears in the form of an alien (beach ball) that is hysterical! It bounces about and "fights" them and really the alien is the star of the show and worth all of the talking that comes before it. They also have to try to talk a bomb out of exploding by asking it ponderous questions, talk about your strange mission! Really quite a funny film but if you go into it expecting any sort of fright or thrill you are barking up the wrong tree...this is pure silliness.

Availability:  On DVD

Strait-Jacket (1964)

4 / 5   Nov '09
Tagline: HER HUSBAND...HER ROOM... ......AND ANOTHER WOMAN
Directed by: William Castle
Written by: Robert Bloch
Actors include: Joan Crawford, Diane Baker, Leif Erickson
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Castle has done it again, another amusingly dark black comedy/horror picture only this time his gimmick was having a star...actress Joan Crawford. She does a stunning job as Lucy, who gave her Husband 40 wacks and when she saw what she had done she gave his Girlfriend 41! Or so I think that's how I remember it..., at any rate Lucy does kill her hubby and girlfriend with an axe in front of their 3 year old daughter (who looks way older than 3). She ends up in an Asylum for 20 years and we catch up with her as she's released. Lucy moves in with her Daughter, Brother and his Wife to try to adjust to life as a sane person. Her Daughter has a nice young Lad she wishes to marry and needs her Mom to be sane so his Parents will approve. Lucy seems to be having some coping skills (especially as people seem to humourously be using axes and knives around her repeatedly) but could she be responsible for several people's disappearances? It's pretty gosh darned entertaining and it definitely has that good old Castle vibe with the wit and sets and everything. The ending does beat you a little over the head with obvious information...it left me feeling like they thought I either didn't watch the movie or I was entirely a Moron. I guess to that point the story is clear...very very clear! Still quite a nice little gem that actually goes a little further than I thought it might but I think that's what makes it so gosh darned charming.

Availabilty:  On DVD

Homicidal (1961)

4.5 / 5  Nov '09
Tagline: A WORD OF WARNING! Please don't reveal the ending of this picture or your friends will kill you - IF THEY DON'T, I WILL! - William Castle
Directed by: William Castle
Written by: Robb White
Actors include: Glenn Corbett, Patricia Breslin, Eugenie Leontovich
Genre: Horror, Black Comedy, Thriller
Length: 87 Minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is one hilarious black comedy, and shocking (well until about the halfway point where it's a dead giveaway) but still! It's about a murderous Nurse who is looking after an old Woman with a lot of money. It's very hard to review this actually because I don't want to give a thing away because it really must be experienced with as little information as possible. Heck William Castle threatened to kill anyone who gave the ending to this away! I can say it's surprising, it's dark, I laughed a ton, the characters are amusing and the lead character is simply stunning as a homicidal maniac! This film's gimmick was a 45 second fright break near the ending for patrons who weren't ready for it to leave the theater. Kinda weak on his scale of gimmicks but the movie more than made up for it in style and sheer entertainment. I was glued to the screen from the beginning to the ending, it really is one heck of a film and I'm kinda surprised that Castle had this in him! Definitely watch now and don't read any more for your own good...

Availability:  On DVD

Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) aka Cemetery Man aka Demons '95 aka Of Death And Love

4.5 / 5
Tagline: A cemetery man must kill the dead a second time when they become zombies
Directed by: Michele Soavi
Written by: Gianni Romoli, Tiziano Sclavi
Actors include: Rupert Everett, Francois Hadji-Lazaro, Anna Falchi
Genre: Horror, Comedy, Fantasy
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I'm surprised this one hasn't been properly rereleased and discovered by the masses yet. It's another witty horror comedy sorta thing where Rupert Everett works as a cemetery man. The dead seem to rise seven days after they died the first time and it's his job to kill them a second time as they become zombies. There is plenty of amusing little mishaps and odd things going on which make this quite delightful. They also put a bit of what if and some deeper meaning into this if you look hard enough and even a bit of a love story involving a severed head. It's got a little something for everyone, and I'd highly recommend this to most. Fortunately it's finally available on DVD so you have no reason not to grab this, I can't think of anyone I've shown this imaginative movie to that has disliked it!

Availability:  On DVD