Calvaire (2004), aka The Ordeal

3.5 / 5 Apr '11
Tagline: Some people would kill for company.
Directed by: Fabrice Du Welz
Written by: Fabrice Du Welz, Romain Protat
Actors include: Laurent Lucas, Brigitte Lahaie, Gigi Coursigny
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
The plot will sound familiar to this French flick, a fellow (called Marc) is stuck in a remote swampy area in the rain when his vehicle breaks down. A weird Man looking for a missing dog ushers him to a bizarre Inn where he takes a room for the night. The Inn keeper promises to fix Marc's broken van but is very insistent that he not go into the nearby town. Let's just say things get very insane from there, and Marc isn't exactly free to leave. It boasts a strange ambiance considering that the film was actually shot with only natural settings, no studio fixings. Sure it's not the most disturbing film of it's kind but the black comedy touches keep things a bit lighter. At least it does boast a bit 'o blood and some horror gratuity and tension. It definitely kept my attention, although I'd hoped for a tad more originality yet still worthy of a gander. Oh and be on the look out for Euro sleaze actress Brigitte Lahaie, definitely the newest film I've seen her in...and yes she is still taking her top off.

Availability:  On DVD

Harpya (1979)

3.5 / 5 Apr '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Raoul Servais
Written by: Raoul Servais
Actors include: Will Spoor, Fran Waller Zeper, Sjoert Schwibethus
Genre: Fantasy, Short, Animation, Horror
Length: 9 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I've sorta been worried about reviewing this one because I can't really tell you what went on. I can tell you that it's absurd and strange, and that the Harpy creature is freaky but you can probably already see that from the picture. What I can tell you about the plot is that a Man who is strolling comes across some sort of crying from the fountain. He thinks he's found a Woman (I think) but it ends up being this Harpy thing. He takes it home and it is endlessly demanding and obnoxious and it seems to be sort of holding him prisoner in a way. It's a very short film, and the imagery will certainly stick with you (or at least it has me). Still I can't help but think a hint of clarity could have went a long way. Oh well, still something to see for the person who has seen everything.

Availability:  Not on DVD as far as I can tell

C'est Arrivé Près De Chez Vous (1992) aka Man Bites Dog

3.5 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: A Killer Comedy
Directed by: Rémy Belvaux
Written by: André Bonzel, Rémy Belvaux
Actors include: Benoît Poelvoorde, Jacqueline Poelvoorde-Pappaert, Nelly Pappaert
Genre: Black Comedy, Crime, Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well this is an unusual French black comedy that was shot in black and white involving the humorous exploits and babblings of a killer. While I did find this occasionally hilarious, (especially his advice about weighing down bodies) I didn't think this was disturbing at all. Our killer offs just about anyone who crosses his path and it seems like without purpose or explanation most of the time. As his rampage goes on he begins to involve the camera crew (it's set up documentary style for some reason) and soon they learn they are in some dangerous territory. It is rather stylish and it's a different approach to serial killers than most I'll give it that. I guess I just expected a little more, and a bit more context though I found it cute they show him with his family. Also I think it goes a bit far with the babbling although occasionally interesting. Definitely a strange little film that most seem to enjoy, I liked it, I just didn't love it.

Availability:  On DVD

Rabid Grannies (1988) aka Les Mémés Cannibales

3 / 5  Nov '09
Tagline: Grandma, What a Big Mouth You Have!
Directed by: Emmanuel Kervyn
Written by: Emmanuel Kervyn
Actors include: Catherine Aymerie, Caroline Braeckman, Richard Cotica
Genre: Horror

Length: 90 minutes

Banned: Nope

Review:

Well I've wanted to see this 'un since I first heard the title, even though it's a Troma picture (consider yourself warned). It starts out with a bunch of bratty Children and Grandchildren out for the large inheritance of two elderly ladies. They all meet up for the old Ladies' birthday dinner when a mystery gift arrives from their Son who was already disinherited (because he worshiped Satan and got into trouble). The mystery gift contains some sort of smoke that is drunk by the old Woman and it makes them turn into ravenous demons (who look suspiciously like rubber Freddy Kruegers). They puss, bite and have ridiculous effects and powers to torment the relatives as they try to hide out in the house from them. It's very cheesy, very cheap, littered with bad jokes and has ridiculous characters and is over the top in every possible way...yet somehow it's kinda entertaining. It's bloody and silly all at the same time, so if you really love Troma movies this should be something you aim to see.

Availability:  On DVD  also watch for free online here:  http://www.hulu.com/rabid-grannies