Whistle, And I'll Come To You (1968)

4 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jonathan Miller
Written by: M.R. James, Jonathan Miller
Actors include: Michael Hordern, Ambrose Coghill, George Woodbridge
Genre: Horror
Length: 42 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Considering this has one of the most irritating characters on earth in it (Professor Parkins), it's surprisingly refreshing. It's based upon an old ghost story from M.R. James and it's supposedly his darkest (according to our narrator). I actually came across it on some list of the scariest moments in film and television and well I can kinda see why it made their list. Professor Parkins is a stuffy smug irritating fellow who mumbles to himself and only believes what is in his books. The subject of ghosts comes up in a conversation and he explained that he cannot believe in that sort of thing the way one would believe in say Australia. Professor Parkins loves his walks around the seaside and one day he stumbles upon an old whistle that he blows. From there everything he knows is turned on it's head as he meets something he never expected. It's a short story coming in at under 45 minutes and it's an effective one, it's just a shame we have to put up with that irritating fools mumbling for much of the film. Still definitely worth it, beautiful cinematography (the shots on the seaside are lovely) and a good story.

Availability:  On DVD

Operazione Paura (1966) aka Kill Baby Kill aka Curse Of The Living Dead aka Don't Walk In The Park

4.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Mario Bava
Written by: Romano Migliorini, Roberto Natale
Actors include: Giacomo Rossi-Stuart, Erika Blanc, Fabienne Dali
Genre: Horror
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I really quite liked this one, elegantly shot, beautiful usage of colors plus the story is fun too. We go to a very unusual town where strange deaths keep happening that are neither accidents nor suicides though they appear as such. We watch a girl jump onto a spiked iron fence to start out with (so we know we are in for a treat) and from there Dr. Eswai is called to perform the autopsy where they find a coin in the heart of the girl. From there we meet various strange people in the town with strange beliefs and some investigation is going on. In the meantime more brutal deaths are taking place, the culprit must be stopped...but who is it? It's filmed in the style of a giallo though it really isn't one I suppose, still it's very elegant and it's obvious that Mario Bava was behind this film. It still has the gratuitity that horror fans will seek, the interesting story and mystery that some will want to solve and it's gorgeous to watch, how could you say no? I do think this is available in several cheapo versions that are probably missing chunks of the story so make sure you get a legit copy because this is one you won't want to miss.

Availability:  On DVD

The Tingler (1959)

3 / 5  Mar '10

Tagline: In Screamarama
Directed by: William Castle
Written by: Rob White
Actors include: Vincent Price, Judith Evelyn, Darryl Hickman
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
I do tend to like William Castle's films, but this one surprised me in that I wasn't impressed with it. I think the gimmick really hinders watching this from home, it was filmed in percepto vision (which means joy buzzers in some seats of the theatre originally) which is supposed to make random audience members scream. The plot is that Vincent Price is a pathologist who discovers that we all have "tinglers" in our spines that will sever them and kill us if we don't scream to release our fear. Obviously the science in this is as bunk as you can get, and it's actually laughable but really if anything I did laugh quite a few times during this, it's more of a cheesy comedy I suppose. One neat thing is that a part of the film features colored blood (it's filmed in black and white) and the actual tingler (that looks like a giant plastic centipede) is not what I expected. It's campy and it does have that element of fun but it's far from something I can imagine being scared by no matter what year it was. I think this might be way more fun to go to during a midnight showing with actual percepto vision. Sadly this one was a disappointment, but I wouldn't say avoid either because I'm in the minority with my opinion I think.

Availability:  On DVD

The Mephisto Waltz (1971)

3.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: The Devil Calls The Tune
Directed by: Paul Wendkos
Written by: Ben Maddow, Fred Mustard Stewart
Actors Include: Alan Alda, Jacqueline Bisset, Barbara Parkins
Genre: Horror
Length: 115 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This wasn't the most exciting film, in fact it dragged and dragged for much of the time (it did not need to be nearly 2 hours long), yet the story is a rewarding one. I think the biggest problem with this film is actually Alan Alda who is pretty unlikeable, especially as a romantic lead (eww). Alda plays a pianist with a great range and quite the ability, in fact when he meets with a famous classical composer the two seem inseparable. Something doesn't seem quite right however (maybe because the composer is a Satanist?), and shortly after the composer's death there are some major changes in Alda. Most of those who dig looking at women will appreciate Jacqueline Bisset as the female romantic lead here (though I kept picturing her as James on Nip/Tuck) who does show a bit of skin. Bissette notices something isn't right with her Husband and starts to solve the mystery...but will it be too late? If they changed Alda with another actor and tightened it up this could have been quite brilliant, the story is a good one. It's just a shame that as is, it's worthwhile but a bit frustrating for quite a while.

Availability:  On DVD as part of a 2fer with House On Skull Mountain

Total Recall (1990)

4 / 5 Mar '10

Tagline: They Stole His Mind, Now He Wants It Back!
Directed by: Paul Verhoeven
Written by: Philip K. Dick, Ronald Shusett
Actors include: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone
Genre: Thriller, Sci-Fi, Action, Adventure
Length: 113 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is one relatively exciting action packed futuristic tale that doesn't seem all that far off from actually happening. Okay well maybe that's an exaggeration, I can't picture some of these violent sequences actually happening but conceptually...we aren't far off. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Douglas Quaid, a fellow who really wants to go to Mars but his wife Lori (Sharon Stone) isn't interested. Instead Douglas hears of a company called Recall which implants memories of trips to nearly anywhere and they let you be any sort of person you'd like for the experience. Douglas decides to give it a try and he selects secret agent with aliens and brunette lady friend (and I can't imagine why anyone would select Rachel Ticotin over Stone) and receives a vacation implant to Mars. We hear that something has gone wrong and that Douglas' memory has accidentally erased, we sort of meet with him and we aren't quite sure which state he's at and he's more confused than we are. All of the sudden people with guns are shooting at him and life is a giant adventure all to do with something that happened on Mars that he can't remember. It's pretty fun watching everything come together especially since it's a rather violent ride filled with adventure. Really I guess this should be recommended to most, the concept is interesting the effects are good and it's very easy to enjoy.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

The Masque Of Red Death (1964)

4.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: LOOK INTO THIS FACE - SHUDDER... at the blood-stained dance of the Red Death! TREMBLE... to the hideous tortures of the catacombs of Kali! GASP... at the sacrifice of the innocent virgin to the vengeance of Baal!
Directed by: Roger Corman
Written by: Charles Bowmont, R. Wright Campbell
Actors include: Vincent Price, Hazel Court, Jane Asher
Genre: Horror
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
I actually thought this was pretty great, seriously elaborate and detailed and garish but in the best possible way! Roger Corman is the director here and I definitely appreciate his work but this doesn't even seem like him at all, it's so technically proficient! Vincent Price is perfect as the sadistic Satan worshiping rich jerk Prince Prospero, the dialog is pretty hilarious in places in a dark dark way. Prospero resides over a gigantic castle, and the "red death" plague seems to be swiping the poor folks. Prospero has taken in his wealthy friends to reside in his castle to worship Satan, dance and to avoid getting sick. He plans one heck of a costume party that one will never forget! Along the way he abducts a beautiful peasant girl (Jane Asher) and her Boyfriend and Father with the intent to kill the Men and to keep the female. This of course doesn't sit well with Prospero's lady friend and Satan's bride Juliana (Hazel Court) who seems rather jealous. The ending simply must be seen to be believed...I don't think I could describe it if I tried. This story is superb, it's bloody and violent so horror fans should love it, and it's thoroughly entertaining from start to finish. Of course this is based upon the short story from Poe called "The Mask Of Red Death" which I honestly haven't read so I can't compare, but I'll definitely read it after this. Highly recommended for those who like camp, Poe or horror, one of the best of it's kind!

Availability:  On DVD as part of a 2fer with Premature Burial

Solamente Nero (1978) aka The Bloodstained Shadow aka Only Blackness

3.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Antonio Bido
Written by: Marisa Andalò, Antonio Bido
Actors include: Lino Capolicchio, Stefania Casini, Craig Hill
Genre: Horror, Giallo, Thriller, Mystery
Length: 109 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well unfortunately this starts out very slow, the gloomy serious nature of the film does add to it, and the cinematography is quite nice. However the restraint wasn't appreciated by me (this is a giallo film, I want sleaze!) and the cast for the most part is very unfortunate looking (and what was wardrobe thinking?). If you can get through the dull first half the second half is definitely more what one would expect from this kind of film. The soundtrack is one of the highlights though thanks to Stelvio Cipriani who's work creates tension and definitely adds to the film big time. Since a schoolgirl was murdered in the past (or the opening credits for us) and the murderer is never caught a young man named Stefano returns to his home (where the murder happened). He wants to try to figure out what happened along with his help of his seriously older brother (uh more like Dad) the local Priest. When another young girl is killed in front of the Priest and some ominous things start happening it's a rush to find out who is doing the killings. It does seem to borrow from better films like Profondo rosso [Deep Red] and 4 mosche di velluto grigio [Four Flies on Grey Velvet] and it's definitely not one of the best core gialli, but it's still worth a viewing for fans I'd say.

Availability:  On DVD

Fade To Black (1980)

4 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Meet Eric Binford, the ultimate movie buff. If you know someone like him... run!
Directed by: Vernon Zimmerman
Written by: Vernon Zimmerman
Actors include: Dennis Christopher, Tim Thomerson, Gwynne Gilford
Genre: Horror, Comedy, Action, Thriller, Drama
Length: 102 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Now this was one heck of an original treat cram packed with various Movie memorabilia and trivia for just about any movie lover. Many of the quotes and characters were things that I know nothing of (not being a Noir fan for the most part) but much of it was entertaining. The story is about movie obsessed geek (kinda like a demented film geek version of Napoleon Dynamite) Eric Binford (brilliantly played by Dennis Christopher) who is a bit socially inept to to his hobbies. He works at a film company but isn't respected, his home life is a crappy too as he has been raised by his nasty abusive Aunt. Life starts looking up when he meets a gorgeous look-alike who actually seems to like him. Being as how she's flighty she forgets their date and stands Eric up which sends him over the edge. Soon he's emulating characters in films and painting his face and he starts believing he is the characters. The main one he becomes is from the film White Heat but he also turns into Bela Lugosi (which is why the face paint on the cover) in Dracula and many more. It really is spot the cultural reference throughout the entire film which is a great deal of fun. This will appeal to a very select few, but those who love nerds getting revenge in violent ways should absolutely love this and the comedy bits are quite funny too. This is something I'll definitely have to watch again to try and soak up even more of it, very well done especially for a rather unknown low key movie. Highly entertaining and definitely recommended, a real treat even though it's maybe technically not the best movie.

Availability:  On DVD

Three On A Meathook (1972)

2.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: A Padlocked Shed, Hooks of Cold Steel -- a Maniac on the loose
Directed by: William Girdler
Written by: William Girdler
Actors Include: Charles Kissinger, James Carroll Pickett, Sherry Steiner
Genre: Horror
Length: 78 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
So this is William Girdler's (The Manitou) debut film and boy is it cheap...I mean it looks like Herschell Gordon Lewis must have had twice the budget and gore effects then this had. The thing is, although it's relatively poorly made it's still relatively ahead of it's time (especially when you consider this predates The Texas Chain Saw Massacre by two years). Although today this seems very formulaic there really wasn't much of a formula to follow at the time so I give credit to Girdler on that account too. The plot is about a young Man named Billy who is desperate for some Lady attention. When he stumbles upon four lovely young ladies he offers them a place to stay for the night. See Mother is dead, and Father isn't too pleased about this, in fact he warns Billy never to bring Woman home because of his "issues with Women". After the girls are brutally slaughtered (including one of the first horror decapitations I believe) in ketchup Billy wakes up the next morning to their corpses not having a clue what happened. When he gets drunk to forget in a club he passes out and wakes up in the bed of a nice young waitress. They end up being fond of one another and so he invites her and her friend to his house for the weekend but will they survive? It actually nearly shares it's plot with the film Frightmare which is rather strange...I actually give credit to the plot for being decent. It's only the budget, acting, effects and large dull parts that make it less than a fun film to watch. Oh and I should mention, we have a few performances from quite the band American Xpress, quite ridiculous! Oh and when the band isn't on screen prepare for ridiculous AM '70s songs nobody has ever heard and for good reason.

Availability:  On DVD

The Raven (1935)

3.5 / 5 Mar '01
Tagline: While this mad surgical genius chanted "The Raven," horrible screams rose up from his torture chamber below!
Directed by: Lew Landers
Written by: David Boehm, Edgar Allan Poe
Actors include: Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Lester Matthews
Genre: Horror
Length: 61 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I think that calling this film "The Raven" was perhaps not the wisest choice as having read the poem I wasn't sure what they'd make a movie about. Having now seen the movie I know it has little to do with the poem aside from the fact that our lead character is obsessed with Poe and has a statue of a Raven. If anything it shares a lot more in common with The Pit and the Pendulum and various other mad scientist plots. At the time this really freaked out audiences because it does have a lot of disturbing material (if you aren't used to that sort of thing). The plot is about Dr. Vollin (Bela Lugosi) a brilliant yet sadistic scientist who loves Poe so very very much. After he's begged to help out a Dame who was in a car accident (silly women can't drive) and of course he ends up falling in love with her. She's got a fiancee and her Father disapproves of the idea of her being with Vollin. For some odd reason they (along with several others) accept an invitation to Vollin's house for a party sleepover. What they don't know is that Mr. Bateman (Boris Karloff) came to Vollin earlier to ask for a facial reconstruction (because he feels ugly) but instead to blackmail him into doing what he wants he disfigures him. Oh and did I mention that Dr. Vollin has a torture chamber and a house full of amazing technology? It's interesting, it definitely has some evil ideas and I like that, Bela is great as an evil madman and Karloff as the sympathetic monster (hmmm where have I seen that before?). The Women in this film are seriously annoying, I know the whole equality thing didn't come until much later but wowsa...dumb. Still worth watching but just don't expect much to do with The Raven. Oh and I should mention that the '50s film of the same name is completely unrelated to this film.

Availability:  On DVD as part of the Bela Lugosi Collection

Deadly Blessing (1981)

3 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: A gruesome secret, protected for generations, rises to give its...
Directed by: Wes Craven
Written by: Glenn M. Benest, Matthew Barr
Actors include: Maren Jensen, Sharon Stone, Jeff East
Genre: Horror
Length: 100 minutes
Banned: Norway, Finland

Review:
Certainly not one of Wes Craven's finer pictures yet not his worst either, this at least has an unusual subject manner. It's got something to do with a sect of extreme Amish called the Hittites who believe technology is so evil that it's pretty much being in cahoots with the Devil himself. We meet up with a fellow who appears to have abandoned his Amish heritage for a beautiful wife, he's still a farmer only he has a tractor that the nearby Hittites seem to hate. When the fellow is mysteriously murdered by his own tractor things go from bad to worse. The young widow invites some friends over to help her after the death (one of which is the beautiful Sharon Stone in one of her earliest roles) only they all end up in peril. See spiders and snakes seem to be trying to kill the beautiful young ladies but could the Hittites be responsible or is it something more sinister? It's kinda neat that Michael Berryman turns up as a creepy Hittite, and well if you want to gaze upon beautiful Women this film should keep you busy. The resolve is beyond stupid, it really doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense and it's very unsatisfying I thought. This could have been worse but it could have been so much better, especially since it does have a rather unique concept.

Availability:  This is available on PAL DVD only currently

Mortuary (1983) aka Embalmed

2.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Before your funeral...Before you are buried...Before you are covered with the last shovelful of dirt...Be sure you are really dead!
Directed by: Howard Avedis
Written by: Howard Avedis
Actors include: Mary Beth McDonough, Lynda Day George, Bill Paxton
Genre: Horror
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Christie is suffering from flashbacks and nightmares related to her Father's drowning and she's a sleepwalker too. She keeps seeing this ghoulish figure cloaked in a cape lurking about but nobody seems to believe her. Things get even worse when she finds out her Mother is actually in a coven of witches! She also has the embalmer's Mozart loving son (played by Bill Paxton) trying to get a date with her. Will her boyfriend be able to protect her from all that haunts her? It's got some gore in it sure, but relatively cheaply done and nothing original in sight really. Also much of the film is very uninteresting and it feels as though it takes way too long to get to the point. I found it to be a bit of a struggle to make it to the end, especially when there wasn't much in the way of surprises to be had. Although the plot does have it's absurdities and Paxton fans will want to see this it hasn't got a lot to offer horror fans unfortunately. Oh but I guess I should mention this is one of a handful of horror films that assembles the victims at the end in a group setting. This film seems relatively difficult to find so don't struggle too much, I didn't feel it was worth it anyhow.

Availability:  Never on DVD however it appears as though people sell bootlegs