X-Men: First Class (2011)

3.5 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: Witness the origin
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Written by: Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz
Actors include: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence
Genre: Sci-Fi, Action, Adventure
Length: 132 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I wouldn't say I'm a big fan of the series, though I've barely explored it. I saw the first X-Men movie back when it came out, thought it was alright but never bothered with any of the sequels. Luckily for me this is filmed in such a way that seeing the first film was all I really needed. It goes back to the '60s when Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr were friends and learning to use their powers together. Together they recruit other mutants and start teaching them to use the power within to try to stop a missile crisis that could blow destroy everything. Be prepared for a ton of neat action sequences, some cheesy montages, and of course some neat mutant activity. They also did a rather good job of tying it into the first movie (heck even Wolverine makes a cameo which is the best part of the film) and yet it didn't feel like they were retreading. I did feel it went on a little long, and a bit of trimming from the beginning wouldn't have hurt, but for the most part it was satisfying and it covered a lot of territory. It's made me curious what I've missed with the other sequels, that is for sure.

Availability:  Still in theatres currently

Priest (2011)

3 / 5  May '11 
Tagline:  The War is Eternal. His Mission is Just the Beginning.
Directed by:  Scott Charles Stewart
Written by:  Cory Goodman, Min-Woo Hyung
Actors include:  Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q
Genre:  Thriller, Horror, Action, Western
Length:  87 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:
Well, this was my first ever 3D movie in the theater, and unfortunately it didn't really utilize this tool very effectively but it did add a nice touch or two.  The particularly stellar part was the Gothic animation in the beginning sequences, it's too bad they didn't use more of this throughout the film.  What they did use were CGI vampires that resembled Marilyn Manson, ridiculously laughable script ("Kill 'Em All") and some of the most implausible action sequences (oh I'm talking about you stones thrown into the air that were used as steps) I think I've ever seen.  Conceptually it's decent enough, it's about a war that occurred between humanity and vampires and Priests were the saviors of humans.  They have since disbarred and been outcast in society and must work demeaning tasks.  The vampires were supposedly vanquished (note I said "supposedly") which leads us to our next problem.  A family are brutalized and a daughter Lucy held captive by vampires, of course the way this works is that a Priest is related to her.  He must leave his Priesthood in order to kick some butt and save Lucy with a little help from a fella called Hicks.  Anyhow it is filled with action...and if you like scenes were people glide around on bikes in the sand (okay so I thought it was snow because I'm an idiot) for long stretches...you will love this movie.  There were at least a few redeeming qualities to this, the visuals were striking and the plot was okay.  Maybe not exactly my cup-o-tea but not worth writing off entirely.

Availability:  Still in theaters

X-Men (2000)

3 / 5
Tagline: The future is here.
Directed by: Bryan Singer
Written by: Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto
Actors include: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen
Genre: Sci-Fi, Action
Length: 104 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I have never read one of the comic books (I'm guessing this was based on one) nor did I know anything about this going into it. An ex-boyfriend actually put this on (why he couldn't have waited until I wasn't visiting to watch it is beyond me) and well it could have been worse I suppose. The idea is that these mutants (with useful battle abilities) are outcast by society so they have a special school thing they go to. They then are faced with a battle between mutant terrorists (I guess not all mutants get along). The furry wolfman rip-off guy is the lead mutant (how original), and really the costumes and their special powers were a little too ridiculous for me to enjoy. I think I disliked this for the same reason I dislike most Troma films, I'm not a 12 year old boy. It had a beginning, an end, special effects, and action so if you look for those things in a film then this might be entertaining for you. Maybe you had to read the comics or something to really get into this, who knows? If you like superhero stuff than you will probably like this, I knew going into it I probably wasn't going to enjoy and gosh darn it I was right.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Turkey Shoot (1982) aka Escape 2000

3.5 / 5 Dec '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Brian Trenchard-Smith
Written by: Jon George
Actor include: Steve Railsback, Olivia Hussey, Michael Craig
Genre: Science Fiction, Action
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Quite a bloody dystopian picture from Australia that has some parts in common with Mad Max but it mostly mimics The Most Dangerous Game. The idea is that in the future there are reprogramming and punishment camps for "deviants" (those who commit minor offenses it seems like). There they are forced to work, sexually abused and forced to learn to obey at all costs. When a group of new entries (and one old worker) to the camp are given the option to be part of a hunting game in exchange for their freedom. Since they are told that they'll never get out otherwise, they agree and so they are thrown into the woods. Shortly after a bunch of evil rich jerks are out on the prowl with various weapons. From there it's loads of fun and excitement and it's very bloody (some of the effects are cheesy) but it's well worth it for any action or horror fan. Not the most original film ever but it is a rather fun take on an old idea.

Availability:  On DVD

Massacre In Dinosaur Valley (1985) aka Stranded In Dinosaur Valley aka Nudo E Selvaggio

2.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Michele Massimo Tarantini
Written by: Michele Massimo Tarantini
Actors include: Michael Sopkiw, Suzane Carvalho, Milton Rodríguez
Genre: Action, Adventure, Horror
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Extremely lackluster and halfassed "cannibal" movie (though there is very little cannibalism. There is however a ton of nudity if that is your thing you might enjoy this? A fellow who acts much like McGuyver wants to go to Dinosaur Valley (which is dangerous what with the cannibals and man eating fish etc) so he manages to catch a plane ride with some models. When the plane crashes down off course they must struggle for survival despite clashing personalities and everything attacking them. They did try a little with blood near the beginning but it became clear that it was nothing more than a jungle porn really as it raged on. It's cheesy but not enough to really be funny, so it is probably one of the least entertaining of it's kind, yet I was still able to sit through it. At least the scenery is nice right? Oh well, another failure but for super big fans of this sort of thing it might be worth a gander.

Availability:  On DVD

Mr. Vampire (1985) aka Geung si sin sang

4 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Ricky Lau
Written by: Ricky Lau, Cheuk-Hon Szeto
Actors include: Ching-Ying Lam, Ricky Lau, Siu-hou Chin
Genre: Action, Comedy, Horror
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although I'm not sure this made a lick of sense were you to pull it apart it's not meant to be. It's purely entertaining absurd comedy with some kung fu action and a touch of horror thrown in. So I don't understand the why on most of this stuff but let's see if I can kind of give a plot synopsis. There is a Master, and two bumbling trainees, also an army of zombies who hop like bunnies (my favorite part) but are kept docile by putting spells on them. In fact spells (made from voodoo paper, and chicken's blood and sticky rice) seem to tame most things when they are in danger. There are also vampires, on of the assistants is bitten by a zombie and tries to stave off zombie effects by dancing around like a fool, and by filing his teeth and nails. The other assistant is possessed by some attractive ghost who throws her own head around. The lessons I learned from this film are that people in Hong Kong are very superstitious, you can't mix sticky rice with other rice, and that more zombies should bounce like bunnies, it's hilarious! It's well paced, action packed and full of laughs, definitely a winner for those of us looking for something rather strange but also very fun.  Also it's worth noting that there are several other entries into the Mr. Vampire series, but this is the first.

Availability:  On DVD

The Exterminator (1980)

4 / 5 Sept '09
Tagline: A one man army. A new kind of soldier in a new kind of war.
Directed by: James Glickenhaus
Written by: James Glickenhaus
Actors include: Samantha Eggar, Christopher George, Robert Ginty
Genre: Action, Horror
Length: 101 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This really does start out in an exciting and bloody manner and it manages to keep that pace throughout. The story is about a man who ends up going by the name of "The Exterminator" who was in a torture war situation before escaping. Then in the real world life is pretty ordinary until thugs at his workplace kill his best friend and he vows a violent revenge. From that point on we get some amusing deaths, strange situations and so forth, it's pretty decently paced. The biggest complaint is that the story is strung together inexplicably...I mean one minute we are talking to some fella, next he's hung on a pole or something, it just wasn't well assembled. Still he does use a flame thrower, many guns and this is a violent bloody treat in many ways. It's sort of like an ultraviolent superhero movie made with a lowish budget, some will love others will cringe.

Availability:  on DVD

Inferno In Diretta (1986) aka Cut And Run

3 / 5 July '10
Tagline: The one story you won't be seeing on the 6 o'clock news!
Directed by: Ruggero Deodato
Written by: Cesare Frugoni, Dardano Sacchetti
Actors include: Lisa Blount, Leonard Mann, Willie Aames
Genre: Action, Adventure, Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
Well in some way this is a sequel to Cannibal Holocaust, or at least it's very similar and from the same director. This isn't nearly as good as Holocaust, though I suppose it's nicely filmed. The plot is about a news team who suspect a member of Jonestown has survived and is hiding out in the jungle. Also they intend to hunt for the son of a TV Producer who has been lost in the jungle for quite a while and it has a cocaine smuggling plot too. The missing son is hilariously played by Willie Aames (Buddy from Charles In Charge) who is ridiculous when trying to act, it's almost sad to watch. This does have a lot of violence in it though nothing as extreme as in Holocaust, it does have a rather high body count I suppose (though I could have done with less poison dart death). One perk this does have is actor Michael Berryman (the creepy dude from The Hills Have Eyes) as a violent savage which is kind of neat. It's okay I guess when you add everything up but it certainly could have been much better.

Availability:  On DVD

Amsterdamned (1988)

4 / 5 May '10
Tagline: The city is murder
Directed by: Dick Maas
Written by: Dick Maas
Actors include: Huub Stapel, Monique van de Ven, Serge-Henri Valcke
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Action
Length: 114 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Ever since I heard the name of this film when I was a little girl I've wanted to see it...how could you not? Luckily it was as good as it's name, I found this to be a rather original and scenic thriller film thanks to dutch director Dick Maas (De lift [The Lift]). It's very cool that it was shot in the canals of Amsterdamned, it has an exciting speed boat chase, gruesome murders and intrigue! The idea is that there is a serial killer who is into diving and he lurks in the canals springing up at any time to collect his next victim. It's in the style of a who-dunnit, almost like a giallo film which is pretty neat. We follow around a Police Officer and his daughter as they try to figure out who the killer is and of course prevent the next victim from being claimed. This really does have a bit of everything, it's got a sense of humor even...they really made this an interesting little film that should appeal to most.

Availability:  On DVD (region 2 though)

Escape From New York (1981)

4 / 5 Apr '10
Tagline: The world's greatest leader is a hostage in the most dangerous place on Earth. Now only the deadliest man alive can save him.
Directed by: John Carpenter
Written by: John Carpenter, Nick Castle
Actors include: Kurt Russell, Ernest Borgnine, Lee Van Cleef
Genre: Action, Science Fiction
Length: 99 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This was a rather entertaining dystopic flick that takes place in the future: 1997. Well luckily for us 1997 looked nothing like this film, here they have New York City as a maximum security prison full of thugs. When Airforce One is taken over, the current president (the very British Donald Pleasance) escapes in his pod (just like the Simpsons of course) lands in New York City. One of the biggest thugs The Duke (Isaac Hayes) takes the President hostage and offers them a finger of his in order to get attention and have their demands met. Kurt Russell plays the eye patched hero Snake who is also kind of a bad guy but they make an offer for him to safely return the President. It has some exciting chase sequences and some really impressive shots of New York and some colorful characters and a cast of impressive actors too. This isn't my favorite from John Carpenter and I actually expected it to be a little more thrilling than it was. Still it was quite enjoyable and a fair bit of fun, definitely has classic moments and is quite iconic.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

The Legend Of The 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

2.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Deadly Horrors! Dragon Thrills! The First Kung Fu Horror Spectacular!
Directed by: Roy Ward Baker
Written by: Don Houghting
Actors include: Peter Cushing, David Chiang, Julie Ege
Genre: Action, Horror
Length: 83 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I really didn't care for this, it's Hammer's last vampire picture and it's my least favorite by far. It combines the world of kung fu in with Dracula and I'm afraid the two don't fit together. The film was basically plotless though the spirit of Dracula (made up to look like Christopher Lee's version of Dracula only much cheaper) goes into the spirit of a fighter warlord guy in order to look after 6 other vampires. One of the only good things about this is the fact that Peter Cushing appears as Van Helsing but it's simply not enough to make this interesting. Much of the film is sword fighting group scenes with too much going on at once, and since they didn't bother with character development it's hard to give a hoot. That and it seems that it just keeps repeating over and over again making this film feel ridiculously long even though it really wasn't. It's even more shocking to see that Roy Ward Baker was one of the directors, he is usually on point! Well I should mention that I don't much care for kung fu movies and maybe that is why I really thought this was a bore, but then again maybe this was just lazy?

Availability:  On DVD

Total Recall (1990)

4 / 5 Mar '10

Tagline: They Stole His Mind, Now He Wants It Back!
Directed by: Paul Verhoeven
Written by: Philip K. Dick, Ronald Shusett
Actors include: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone
Genre: Thriller, Sci-Fi, Action, Adventure
Length: 113 minutes
Banned: Nope
Country: USA

Review:
This is one relatively exciting action packed futuristic tale that doesn't seem all that far off from actually happening. Okay well maybe that's an exaggeration, I can't picture some of these violent sequences actually happening but conceptually...we aren't far off. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Douglas Quaid, a fellow who really wants to go to Mars but his wife Lori (Sharon Stone) isn't interested. Instead Douglas hears of a company called Recall which implants memories of trips to nearly anywhere and they let you be any sort of person you'd like for the experience. Douglas decides to give it a try and he selects secret agent with aliens and brunette lady friend (and I can't imagine why anyone would select Rachel Ticotin over Stone) and receives a vacation implant to Mars. We hear that something has gone wrong and that Douglas' memory has accidentally erased, we sort of meet with him and we aren't quite sure which state he's at and he's more confused than we are. All of the sudden people with guns are shooting at him and life is a giant adventure all to do with something that happened on Mars that he can't remember. It's pretty fun watching everything come together especially since it's a rather violent ride filled with adventure. Really I guess this should be recommended to most, the concept is interesting the effects are good and it's very easy to enjoy.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Fade To Black (1980)

4 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Meet Eric Binford, the ultimate movie buff. If you know someone like him... run!
Directed by: Vernon Zimmerman
Written by: Vernon Zimmerman
Actors include: Dennis Christopher, Tim Thomerson, Gwynne Gilford
Genre: Horror, Comedy, Action, Thriller, Drama
Length: 102 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Now this was one heck of an original treat cram packed with various Movie memorabilia and trivia for just about any movie lover. Many of the quotes and characters were things that I know nothing of (not being a Noir fan for the most part) but much of it was entertaining. The story is about movie obsessed geek (kinda like a demented film geek version of Napoleon Dynamite) Eric Binford (brilliantly played by Dennis Christopher) who is a bit socially inept to to his hobbies. He works at a film company but isn't respected, his home life is a crappy too as he has been raised by his nasty abusive Aunt. Life starts looking up when he meets a gorgeous look-alike who actually seems to like him. Being as how she's flighty she forgets their date and stands Eric up which sends him over the edge. Soon he's emulating characters in films and painting his face and he starts believing he is the characters. The main one he becomes is from the film White Heat but he also turns into Bela Lugosi (which is why the face paint on the cover) in Dracula and many more. It really is spot the cultural reference throughout the entire film which is a great deal of fun. This will appeal to a very select few, but those who love nerds getting revenge in violent ways should absolutely love this and the comedy bits are quite funny too. This is something I'll definitely have to watch again to try and soak up even more of it, very well done especially for a rather unknown low key movie. Highly entertaining and definitely recommended, a real treat even though it's maybe technically not the best movie.

Availability:  On DVD

The Tenth Victim (1965) aka La decima vittima aka La dixième victime

4 / 5   Nov '09
Tagline: It's the 21st century and they have a licence to kill
Directed by: Elio Petri
Written by:  Robert Sheckley, Tonino Guerra
Actors include: Marcello Mastroianni, Ursula Andress, Elsa Martinelli
Genre: Sci-Fi, Action
Length: 92 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:

One insanely weird '60s sci-fi picture from Italy featuring the appearance of Ursula Andress and a futuristic dystopian plot. In the future, there is a Government run program you can sign up for (especially if suicidal) which puts you in a game. There are Hunters and there are Victims, you must survive being both a total of ten times before you win a million dollars. Only a few survive as they are being shot at nearly constantly not to mention the Hunter takes in all the information about the Victim, and the Victim isn't allowed any info at all. Ursula plays a girl who is about ready to take her tenth victim (the title...ya dig?), and they've planned a big movie shoot to show her as she kills him. Of course this he we refer to isn't a dumb guy, and let's just say she's met her match. It's filled with bizarre futuristic music, weird costumes and set designs and all kinds of absurdity. It's no wonder this influenced "The Running Man" and the Austin Powers series (you'll see exactly what I mean). Definitely something intriguing to see but yet I don't think it delivered the excitement I was hoping for ultimately.

Availability:  On DVD

Lady Terminator (1988) aka Pembalasan ratu pantai selatan aka Nasty Hunter aka Shooting Star aka The Revenge of the South Seas Queen

4 / 5 Nov '09
Tagline: She Mates... Then She Terminates
Directed by: H. Tjut Djalil
Written by: Karr Kruinowz
Actors include: Barbara Anne Constable, Christopher J. Hart, Claudia Angelique Rademaker
Genre: Action, Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:

So I'm guessing that in Indonesia that the The Terminator must have been really popular. This tale starts out to be one thing but definitely ends up another. It starts out with everyone warning to avoid "the sea queen", an Anthropologist goes on a trek to meet the sea queen and ends up having some sort of slug crawl into an unmentionable area. From that point on, she's imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger what with the robotic running, sideways glances and even some of the same catch phrases! I think the biggest difference is that Arnold wasn't screwing people to death! This is rather cheaply made and laughable in many places but they certainly tried their hardest. They filled it full of car chases, explosions, action sequences, fights and a whole bunch of red stuff! It's actually pretty darned fun to watch though I did find I was shaking my head in disbelief many times. I actually think this was better than the real 4th Terminator movie, heck this is on par with the 3rd one. If you can't get enough Terminator and want to see a naked female version (she does put on clothes after a while) then this should be turbo packed enough for most! A rather strange fan entry into the series but worthwhile for fans of the ridiculous!

Availability:  On DVD