Body Snatchers (1993)

3 / 5 Jan '10
Tagline: The Invasion Continues
Directed by: Abel Ferrara
Written by: Jack Finney, Raymond Cistheri
Actors include: Gabrielle Anwar, Terry Kinney, Billy Wirth
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 87 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I definitely prefer the other two versions of this tale I've seen (the '50s & the '70s) by a huge margin. This feels very '90s and it has "dear diary" overtones to the awful narration. They've also twisted this tale all around to be around a young girl and her family who moved to a new town. One day her little Brother notices that Mom's head deflates? and a new Mom appears and he yells and complains about that not being his Mom. After a while a bunch of townspeople start becoming more zombie like and personality free (oh and not to mention the loud sound they make while pointing which worked awesomely in the other two but here it seems hilarious). The actual effects that went into creating the pods and the regeneration process and stuff are well done and it's the only real reason I can think of to watch this. I really had higher expectations here, especially considering Abel Ferrara was at the helm of this picture. Not recommended unless you need to see every adaptation of this story.

Availability:  On DVD

Capricorn One (1977)

4.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: The mission was a sham. The murders were real.
Directed by: Peter Hyams
Written by: Peter Hyams
Actors include: Elliott Gould, James Brolin, Sam Waterston
Genre: Thriller, Sci-Fi
Length: 123 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This was one exciting thrill ride that I didn't expect at all! See it starts out getting to know three Men (James Brolin, Sam Waterston, O.J. Simpson and who are to go to Mars with the NASA space program. When they are pulled from their spaceship at the last moment before take-off many questions are left unanswered. The public believes they are onboard as the shuttle launches and our astronauts are left with a very unappealing option. Elliott Gould plays a reporter trying to crack the case and find out what's really going on though it puts him in some major peril. Seriously when this started I figured I was in for an Apollo 13 style film, but this is so much more and it goes through so many different exciting action sequences. I hate that I can't say anymore because there are so many wickedly awesome things that happen within this tale but you really should just watch it and find out for yourself. No wonder there are so many conspiracy theory people, they likely saw this movie!

Availability:  On DVD

Expose (1976) aka The House On Straw Hill aka Trauma

3 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: And you thought that other HOUSE was bad...
Directed by: James Kenelm Clarke
Written by: James Kenelm Clarke
Actors include: Udo Kier, Linda Hayden, Fiona Richmond
Genre: Horror
Length: 84 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Yet another video nasty, this time I can't help but feeling like it was picked because of graphic nudity and sex rather than actual horror but there is some of that here too. Udo Kier plays a writer who seems to not have any respect for women (but I don't even think that is a plot point). He rents an isolated house to write a new novel, only he is having trouble writing so he decides to hire a secretary. The girl he chooses is quite lovely but something doesn't seem quite right about her. Sure she's great help and nice to look at but she pays the price when some local yokels try to attack her. Not being one to put up with that sort of thing, the story takes a rather bloody turn from that point on. The is one heck of a sleazy tale and it did have too much of that nonsense and a pointless lesbian encounter and so forth. You could easily remove a half hour of pointless nudity from this and you'd have a much better story. As is, I still thought it was okay, the story was reasonable and everything, just parts of it were irritating to have to sit through to get to the good stuff.

Availability:  On DVD (but OOP)

Fiend Without A Face (1958)

4 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: New Horrors! Mad Science Spawns Evil Fiends! ...Taking form before your horrified eyes!
Directed by: Arthur Crabtree
Written by: Herbert J. Leder, Amelia Reynolds Long
Actors include: Marshall Thompson, Kynaston Reeves, Kim Parker
Genre: Sci-Fi, Horror
Length: 75 minutes
Banned: Sweden

Review:
So this starts out rather slow, a whole bunch of chatting and invisible monster attacks dominate the first part of the film. See the idea is that a Scientist is experimenting with powers and nuclear power and he creates something new. The new "thing" escapes from the lab and beings multiplying and attacking people by sucking their spinal cords and brains out. A bunch of locals are dying and blame is being thrown around but it's only when they discover this "mental vampire" monster is responsible that things really take off. Once we can finally see the culprit it's impossible to not be impressed, some of the best effects I've seen from a film so early. The monsters are creepy, and the film is gory and violent and all things exciting from that point on. Seriously at first I thought this would be dullsville but hang in there because this one is a really unique treasure.

Availability:  On DVD

The Haunting (1963)

3 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: You may not believe in ghosts but you cannot deny terror
Directed by: Robert Wise
Written by: Shirley Jackson, Nelson Gidding
Actors include: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Richard Johnson
Genre: Horror
Length: 112 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I really despised the remake so getting around to watching this was a real chore. The worst part is, I know this is considered a classic but I found it to be dullsville! Obviously House on Haunted Hill [The House on Haunted Hill] is quite similar as I believe both are based upon Shirley Jackson's tale "The Haunting Of Hill House" but I really thought that the other one was so much better than this. This was as dry as a bone, the parts that were supposed to be chilling I thought were laughably stupid and I was cheering for the house to get anyone. I guess silly noises and doors slamming just aren't my cup 'o tea, I am a rather difficult sell on most haunted house tales though. A bunch of people who don't know each other were invited to the house that is haunted. Our lead character Eleanor (who is annoyingly played by Julie Harris) has left her miserable life behind and is desperate to stay in the house. The one thing this does have going for it is atmosphere, it's a great gothic style setting and the staircase is something to see. I wouldn't take my word on this film as I seriously don't understand why it deserves all of the love it gets at all, and I seem to be in the extreme minority with my opinion. Watch it I guess but don't be surprised if you end up doing some major yawning.

Availabilty:  On DVD

To All A Good Night (1980)

2 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline:  You'll Scream 'til Dawn
Directed by: David Hess
Written by: Alex Rebar
Actors include: Jennifer Runyon, Forrest Swanson, Linda Gentile
Genre: Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Iceland

Review:
Oh dear, well this is a Christmas slasher that is extremely cheap, dark and even hard to see what's going on some of the time. It was directed by David Hess (who should stick to raping women in films) and although I'm sure he's seen many slashers this 'un is proof that not just anyone can make one. It's definitely color by numbers, a group of wooden teens have a party and a killer dressed as Santa bumps them off one by one. Even the deaths weren't imaginative! The characters seem to lack motivation for most things and plenty of times they could have gotten away or gone for help or whatnot and of course they just hang out and have sex waiting to be killed without asking questions. At least most have some sort of original twist or surprise but I should note that this did come out before Silent Night, Deadly Night but Deadly Night is a zillion times more entertaining!

Availabilty:  Currently Not On DVD
To All a Goodnight

Lisa, Lisa (1977) aka Axe

4 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: Total Terror - You'll Be Scared To Breathe...!
Directed by: Frederick R. Friedel
Written by: Frederick R. Friedel
Actors include: Leslie Lee, Jack Canon, Ray Green
Genre: Horror
Length: 68 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Now this one pleasantly surprised me though it's cheap and sleazy to the max...oh wait that's why I liked it! It's a video nasty so I figured I was in for some red stuff and yes indeedy it does satisfy. The story is about three criminals who happen to be going around and killing people before they meet young Lisa. Lisa looks after her paralyzed Grandpa in a big ole farm house all by herself. Lisa isn't quite the most normal person, she suffers hallucinations, stares into space and well she's just generally strange. When the criminals stumble into her place bad things start happening! It's definitely very The Last House on the Left only much cheaper and only a little more than an hour long. If you go into this expecting to be scared you are looking at it from the wrong angle, look at this as a ridiculously campy homage to revenge pictures with a wickedly vicious young Girl that you want to root on. This definitely won't appeal to everyone but those who like it will probably like it a lot.

Availability:  On DVD

Isn't It Shocking (1973)

3 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: John Badham
Written by: Lane Slate
Actors include: Alan Alda, Louise Lasser, Edmond O'Brien
Genre: Horror
Length: 73 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I hate to say that I found this to be rather dull but well the truth is just that. The premise, pretty cool someone is shocking the old folks...appropriate title to say the least. The town Sheriff (Alan Alda) goes about in a slow manner trying to solve the crimes and talking to nearly everyone in town...yawn! Oh and terrible as this is gonna sound, they are old people...death isn't far away at any rate! It completely lacks excitement, you really don't see many deaths so on a horror and thriller front it disappoints. It does have a ton of talking some weak attempts at humor though if you like the characters you will get more out of this. I just felt like I was stuck with 70 minutes of small talk, and about 3 minutes of anything actually happening. I should point out that this was a made-for-tv movie from ABC and often I do enjoy this sort of thing but I really found this 'un to be a big let down.

Availability:  Currently Unavailable, all DVDs seem to be bootlegs

The Signalman (1976)

4.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lawrence Gordon Clark
Written by: Charles Dickens, Andrew Davies
Actors include: Denholm Elliott, Bernard Lloyd
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 37 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Part of the UK's A Ghost Story For Christmas series and likely the best story of the lot (though I've only ever seen one other that was also quite good). It's a short period piece but it packs a nice little punch. We follow around a Signalman (bet you wouldn't have guessed that) who seems to be haunted by an image that appears when a disaster happens. This all started after he watched a nasty crash between two trains in a tunnel. He meets a friendly fellow and the two talk about life, work and become friends. It's more than just that though as the dreary ominous atmosphere builds into quite a wonderful flick. When you consider this will only take a little more than a half hour of your time and it's probably the best Christmas ghost story how could one say no?

Availability:  Currently Unavailable

Dark Star (1974)

3.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: What would you be like after 20 years aboard DARK STAR the spaced-out spaceship. The ultimate cosmic comedy!
Directed by: John Carpenter
Written by: John Carpenter, Dan O'Bannon
Actors include: Brian Narelle, Cal Kuniholm, Dre Pahich
Genre: Comedy, Sci-Fi
Length: 83 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap...no I'm not a chicken, just shocked by how amateurish this film looks. At the same time, that is the reason the film is so hilarious! It started out as a short film project for John Carpenter that was added onto to make a full-length film and on that level it's pretty awesome what he accomplished. It's about four spacemen (and their dead Captain who can be unfrozen to ask questions to) who are on a mission to destroy unstable planets to colonize them. As they come close to finishing their mission new trouble appears in the form of an alien (beach ball) that is hysterical! It bounces about and "fights" them and really the alien is the star of the show and worth all of the talking that comes before it. They also have to try to talk a bomb out of exploding by asking it ponderous questions, talk about your strange mission! Really quite a funny film but if you go into it expecting any sort of fright or thrill you are barking up the wrong tree...this is pure silliness.

Availability:  On DVD

Salem's Lot (1979)

4.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: The ultimate in terror!
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Written by: Stephen King, Paul Monash
Actors include: David Soul, James Mason, Bonnie Bedelia
Genre: Horror
Length: 183 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Definitely one of the better King adaptations, this one manages to actually be creepy, have an interesting story and keep quite true to the novel so just about anyone should be able to enjoy this. As the story goes the creepy Renfield appears in a small little town opening an antique shop in a haunted house. Also former inhabitant (an now famous author) Ben Mears returns home to write a book but is fascinated with the haunted house being taken over by Renfield. Our other main character is teenager Mark who just happens to know be a horror addict with extensive knowledge about monsters (convenient). Of course the two skeptics must come together to solve the Renfield mystery before the town is doomed! The atmosphere is great, the fact that it is 183 minutes long (the DVD version anyhow) and it never slows or becomes dull speaks volumes about how great this film is. It even has some rather surprising parts considering this was a made-for-tv movie! Extremely effective and one of the best vampire films I've encountered, I wish there were more like this 'un!

Availability:  On DVD

Rejuvenatrix (1988) aka The Rejuvenator

3.5 / 5 Dec '09
Tagline: A Vision of Beauty Born in Hell
Directed by: Brian Thomas Jones
Written by: Brian Thomas Jones, Simon Nuchtern
Actors include: Vivian Lanko, John MacKay, James Hogue
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is actually a perfect example of what can be accomplished with a straight-to-video release and practically no budget. It's got surprisingly creepy effects (in places) and very easy to watch. The flick is about a very rich and very vain actress who learns of an experimental youth procedure (basically untested) that she simply must have. When it works, she poses as a younger person named Elisabeth (which reminds me of Countess Dracula) and of course she's hot in demand, until things go wrong. Of course it has hilarious effects as the potion needs continual upkeep or else she turns into a rotting monster craving brains. As time goes on things go from bad to worse, but it's always great entertainment. It's very similar to an episode of Friday The 13th: The Series called "Teacup Of Time" in which an aging rocker girl must force Bums to drink from a cup (and be strangled by ivy) in order to maintain her youth. Definitely recommended, full of blood and guts & pretty darned hilarious to boot, one of the best of the cheap!

Availability:  Not Available Currently