Cementerio Del Terror (1985) aka Cemetery of Terror

3.5 / 5 Oct '11

Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Written by: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Actors include: Hugo Stiglitz, José Gómez Parcero, Bety Robles
Genre: Horror
Length: 87 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Zombies that react to crosses like vampires, an evil book that brings back to life a murderer, house possession, a serial killer, dumb teenagers....what doesn't this movie have? Okay so a budget and explanation for the cockamamie hodge podge plot for starters but it's still rather entertaining. Some teen Boys plan a party in an abandoned home (with hydro and amenities) and trick some girls into coming over by pretending they are having a "jet set party" (whatever that entails). Instead they decide it would be a groovy good time to go find the most hideous corpse they can at the morgue for scares. They also think that reading from an evil book at a cemetery is a good plan and you can pretty much guess what happens from there. So the "plot" is borrowed from so many other more popular movies like The Evil Dead and countless others. At least they did throw in a few decent gore effects, and the illogical nature of the movie itself brings some good laughs. It also does have sort of a Halloween theme (though they mention it's June???) so it's a decent watch if you are looking for an amusing Mexican horror flick for the season.

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

 3.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: He puts the teeth in terror
Directed by: Jeff Burr
Written by: Kim Henkel, Tobe Hooper
Actors include: Katie Hodge, Ken Foree, R.A. Mihailoff
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

 

Review:

Certainly a large step up from part 2 as well, this one isn't a joke. It's far from amazing, but as a slasher this one meets all of the requirements, plus it seems to be more true to the spirit of the original. This time we meet two college students who are on a road trip that end up in cannibal country. This time the murderous family seems to have grown (Viggo Mortensen has even joined the crew) and they are still just as hungry as ever. This has the obligatory running through the dark in the woods scene, several chainsawing and even dead animals...what more could one ask for? They even managed to do a decent job building a bit of tension, and the gore was pretty fun too. I'm glad to see that this was actually better than I had anticipated, maybe not as good as it could have been but entertaining enough none the less.

Availability:  On DVD

Rattlers (1976)

3 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: John McCauley
Written by: John McCauley, Jerry Golding
Actors include: Sam Chew Jr., Elisabeth Chauvet, Dan Priest
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Somehow it's very watchable sleaze which producer Harry Novak definitely specializes in. It's obviously a cheaply made picture with sub-par actors but who cares....does one really expect more from a film like this? The first half is actually quite fun with one snake attack after the next (before the title credits we get to see children slide into a rattler pit....how is that not awesome?). Then we meet Herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson who of course specializes in the study of snakes. Since fluke snake bites have been on the rise, he's been called in along with an attractive photographer to investigate. When they start with the romance montages things really start sliding downhill but it's silly enough that it's almost laughable. Speaking of which....may I just throw out there that there is a scene where they shoot up snakes in a tent! Though this will never be considered a classic, that scene alone is worthy of a late night viewing.

Availability:  On DVD

She Demons (1958)

3 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: Horrific Nazi Experiments Gone Awry!
Directed by: Richard E. Cunha
Written by: Richard E. Cunha, H.E. Barrie
Actors include: Irish McCalla, Tod Griffin, Victor Sen Yung
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 77 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well this is definitely a '50s "B" movie, and it's got a high level of cheese but at the same time it's one of the better examples of it's kind. After a shipwreck a spoiled bitch named Jerrie (Irish McCalla...Sheena!), a heroic sort called Fred, his sidekick Sammy and the Captain end up on an unknown island. It doesn't take long before they realize that they aren't alone...in fact "She Demons" who dance and drum are mucking about. Worse still there is a Nazi mad scientist who is of course up to no good wanting to heal his disfigured Wife. It's absurd sure, but it's at least entertainingly so and it actually starts out and ends rather well...it's just the boring science mumbo jumbo in the middle that I could have done without. At the same time, it's only a 77 minute flick so they don't stretch things out too far. I also appreciate that they really did try to make this a horror film what with the make-up and so forth...it's not scary but it could have been wayyy worse.

Availability:  On DVD

Die Sister, Die (1972) aka The Companion

2.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: Go ahead and SCREAM AMANDA - it can't help you now!
Directed by: Randall Hood
Written by: William Hersey, Tony Sawyer
Actors include: Jack Ging, Edith Atwater, Antoinette Bower
Genre: Horror, Mystery
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Great title, not so great film unfortunately. It feels very much like a made-for-tv picture though in fact it's just a bland studio release. It's set up like a murder mystery sort of thing, but within a few minutes of the flick anyone should be able to tell exactly what is going on. Were it not for reasonably decent actors this would have been antagonizingly dull. Esther is hired to be a Nurse to a mentally unwell person named Amanda by her seemingly ordinary brother Edward. Amanda has two past suicide attempts and suffers from delusions and is generally cantankerous. Of course all of this has to do with a family secret, locked rooms and money and blah blah blah run of the mill. It's not satisfying on a horror front, it's not satisfying as a mystery and really it's just something that wastes time.

Availability:  On DVD

Stanley (1972)

3.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: Tim has a pet rattlesnake. When Tim gets mad - Stanley gets deadly!
Directed by: William Grefe
Written by: William Grefe, Gary Crutcher
Actors include: Chris Robinson, Alex Rocco, Steve Alaimo
Genre: Horror
Length: 106 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:

Willard with snakes! Tim is a Vietnam Vet and a Seminole Indian who's bitter because his Father was killed by poachers so he lives in isolation in the Everglades with a bunch of rattlers. His best snake friend is Stanley who has a snake wife named Hazel and together then have three babies...touching right? Well for some odd reason everybody is after Tim's snakes. There is a local crime guy called Thomkins (Alex Rocco) who wants to make designer belts out of snake pelts...and guess who has the snakes he desires? There is also an elderly stripper who wants snakes so she can bite their heads off in her act (okay so the promoter is pushing her to do this but still). When they start advancing on his snakes he is compelled to take revenge using his dear slithery friends. It's most definitely an exploitation film, but it's got a degree of charm...my favorite part being a freeze frame of Thomkins before he jumps into the pool (you'll see what I mean)". It also taught me that snakes can float on quicksand (seriously can that happen?)? At any rate it's not the best animal horror film nor is it the most original but I still think it's worth checking out.

Availability:  On DVD

Alice in Wonderland (1966)

4 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jonathan Miller
Written by: Lewis Carroll
Actors include: Anne-Marie Malik, Michael Redgrave, Peter Sellers
Genre: Fantasy, Horror
Length: 71 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a pretty fascinatingly surreal and psychedelic version of the Alice in Wonderland story. It's shot in black and white in a gothic style, and the cinematography is quite lovely. It features music by Ravi Shankar and a fantastic cast, particularly Anne-Marie Malik in the role of Alice. It was filmed as a TV play of all things, and it's surprisingly well made. What I found so unusual was the character of Alice who yes is a rather inquisitive but here she is stern and extremely flip...moreso than in any other version I've seen. She seems downright pissed off at the wacky people in wonderland and irritated by everything around her. At the same time the contrast makes the story and characters seem even more absurd which is pretty cool. I'm not completely sure how this qualifies as a horror film, but perhaps some of the imagery is a bit grotesque and it is maybe a tad creepy. Just the same a very interesting version of the classic story that really should be seen by any fan of the story, or for those who like unusual '60s flicks.

Availability:  on DVD

Hambuster (2010)

2.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Paul Alexandre, Maxime Cazaux, Dara Cazamea, Romain Delaunay, Bruno Ortolland
Written by: Paul Alexandre, Maxime Cazaux, Dara Cazamea, Romain Delaunay, Bruno Ortolland
Actors include: N/A
Genre: Comedy, Horror, Animated
Length: 6 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a sorta lamely computer animated short 3D flick about a hamburger gone bad. It was created by 5 students as a graduation project I believe, and when you consider that they did well...I'da passed 'em. A fella goes to take a bite only to have it lick his face, then the burger promptly goes on a chomping spree tearing up a fast food restaurant. It's just not very special and it seems as though not much care went into the making of it. I did appreciate the carnage that takes place during the restaurant massacre (some of the touches there were nice) but the rest of it all seemed rather meh. Not something I'll ever want to see again nor would I really recommend it, but it did give me a craving for a burger.

Availability:  watch it here for free  http://vimeo.com/13526349

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

2.5 / 5 Jul '13
Tagline: After a decade of silence... The buzzz is back!
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Written by: Kim Henkel, Tobe Hooper
Actors include: Caroline Williams, Dennis Hopper, Jim Siedow
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
What a yawn, and a long one at that. Now understandably it's not going to be as good as the original as sequels seldom are. Heck even judging this as a film unrelated to the series it's still a dud though. I just can't get over that Tobe Hooper was behind this sequel and Tom Savini did the effects so how did it go so terribly wrong? It's very cartoonish and the cannibal family in this act like the friggin' 3 Stooges. Since when did Leatherface shake his belly around and wiggle when holding a chainsaw? This is most definitely a comedy with some lame gore in it and not much else, it's just not funny and if you are going to play that angle at least throw in some laughs. The story is about an irritating female radio DJ (Caroline Williams) called Stretch who gets a phone call on her request line from two jackasses causing a ruckus. They won't get off the phone (if the other person hangs the phone up, doesn't that disconnect the line?) and they meet their fate when Leatherface chainsaws 'em up real good. Stretch hears it all and is pursuaded to play the tape on the radio by Lt. Lefty (Dennis Hopper slumming it huge time). Of course it gets her into trouble and soon the radio station is under attack by cannibalistic buffoons. I was a little amused that Bo in his "Sonny Bono wig" looks very much like a member of Oasis but that was the highlight of the film. It seems that some really like this film but I can't find much reason to join their plight so instead I'll say avoid!

Availability:  On DVD

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

3.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: Witness the birth of fear
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman
Written by: Sheldon Turner
Actors include: Jordana Brewster, Matt Bomer, Diora Baird
Genre: Horror
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I usually am not one for remakes, but I did enjoy the 2003 version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a prequel to a remake sounds sketchy but this wasn't. In fact I'd say they did as well making this although yes it is sort of unnecessary and many things were recycled from the other films but it is still a lot of gore filled fun. Here we watch Tommy (aka Leatherface) lose his job at the butcher shop, and well let's just say he snaps. It does do a good job of filling in the blanks, like what happened to Uncle's legs and how did Hoyt become a cop etc. They introduce us to another group of young people (this time on their way to Vietnam for the war) who of course are destined to become dinner and play things for the lovely family. I appreciated that they didn't play this one too lightly and they really kept it rather dark and bloody. There was definitely a doomy feel to it, and the cast are actually rather decent too I must say. I was surprised that his is worth watching, however if you are looking for something surprisingly fresh and original this won't be it. It's exactly what you think it might be and that is all I was hoping for.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Die Screaming, Marianne (1971)

2.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: Death bars the gate to her 21st birthday
Directed by: Pete Walker
Written by: Murray Smith
Actors include: Susan George, Barry Evans, Christopher Sandford
Genre: Crime, Drama, Horror
Length: 99 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, I'm a huge fan of Pete Walker but I'd heard this was pretty lackluster so I'd left it alone until now. Everyone was right, this is very uninteresting and dry to boot. In fact calling it a horror film seems like an exaggeration, it's more of a cheap crime movie with a few little killings in it. Walker favorite Susan George stars as frees pirited dancer Marianne who ends up shacking with an ugly Bloke who nearly ran her down with his car. When he proposes sudden marriage she decides to fix it so that she is married to his best friend instead (wise choice, he is sooo yucky). Anyhow, angry jilted ugly Guy teams up with Marianne's uglier sister in order to scheme to get money out of Marianne. See she has the key to a large sum of money as well as some papers and secrets on her 21st birthday. It's all very cookie cutter and there is no flavor at all to this to note. It's really Walker's transition movie between his nudie cutie pics and his horror works, unfortunately this really won't appeal to fans of either.

Availability:  On DVD

Sinister Flesh (1976)

3.5 / 5 Jul '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Stanley Sheff
Written by: Stanley Sheff
Actors include: S.D. Nemeth, Tomme Arnold, Riki Marcelli
Genre: Horror, Short, Comedy
Length: 27 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a very strange little short film from the '70s filmed in the style of the silent horror pictures of the '20s. It even says at the beginning that the director didn't believe in talking in film, but the thing is, the schtick works. It's filmed in black and that sort of yellowish tinge they occasionally would use, and the monsters and the behavior of the characters is very in tune with the classics as well. What makes this different is that it's very much a comedy, much of it is plain silly and some of the jokes fall flat. Still I couldn't help but snicker a few times, and considering it's only a 25 minute film it does have a fair bit to offer. It's the story of Dr. Ogo Moto who is seeking immoratality by conducting strange experiments along with his friend Zit, The Hunchback. They kidnap Women, then hook them into a crazy machine and well usually things go wrong, until of course they don't. It's not bloody, it's not scary, but the atmosphere is right and it's a decent throwback picture.

Availability:  Apparently this film was once thought to be lost, but you can watch it here: http://vids.myspace.com/in...mp;videoid=3111