The Mafu Cage (1978) aka Deviant aka Don't Ring The Doorbell aka My Sister, My Love aka The Cage

3.5 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: A Psychological Thriller
Directed by: Karen Arthur
Written by: Don Chastain, Éric Wesphal
Actors include: Lee Grant, Carol Kane, Will Geer
Genre: Drama, Exploitation, Horror
Length: 102 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is one odd duck of a film, it's not going to be for everyone but to select few it should be entertaining. The story is originally from a play which is somewhat evident by the claustrophobic feel to the film. The film takes place in a bizarre home where two sisters live together. Ellen (Lee Grant) is the normal sister who vows to look after Cissy (Carol Kane) when their Father dies. Cissy has problems to put it lightly, she was in Africa apparently and is rather "wild" living in their jungle like abode with a pet Monkey called Mafu (who is kept in a cage, hence the title). Cissy is into drawing a picture of Mafu, but when the picture is finished look out! The story has weird themes of incest, mental illness, manipulation and all kinds of good exploitation like stuff. Considering all that is going on it somehow manages to refrain from being too sleazy and although it is a bit slow to start it does keep a decent momentum. It's more like a weird drama rather than an actual horror film but it definitely has elements from the genre. Rather twisted and strange most definitely and it's quite something to see Kane's performance, worth it for fans of weirdness.

Availability:  On DVD

The Stendhal Syndrome (1996) aka La Sindrome di Stendhal

3.5 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Dario Argento
Written by: Graziella Magherini, Dario Argento
Actors include: Asia Argento, Thomas Kretschmann, Marco Leonardi
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Giallo
Length: 120 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I'm not sure why this has such a terrible reputation, I mean it's certainly not one of Dario Argento's best but it's not his worst either. I suppose some may be disappointed because it is unusual for a horror flick and the story is a bit strange plus it is a bit too long. The story is about a Detective called Anna (Dario's daughter Asia Argento) who we meet in a museum where she loses herself and passes out looking at a painting. This is apparently what Stendhal Syndrome is (yes a real problem that affects quite a few I guess), getting lost in art and getting confused. Anyhow Anna has temporary amnesia making her job extra difficult since she's trying to track a serial rapist/killer. From there it's a strange journey of hallucinations, rape, obssession and blood...even a blond wig! According to some, this is the first Italian film to utilize CGI which generally I hate but it was small doses and it did work here. It certainly does feel like a giallo and one of the best late entries I've come across so far. Sure it's not something that you'll need to rush out and see but I think fans of the genre and of Argento should give this a try.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Abby (1974)

3.5 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: The Devil took her for his lover! Her body is possessed, her soul is next!
Directed by: William Girdler
Written by: William Girdler, Gordon Cornell Layne
Actors include: Carol Speed, William Marshall, Terry Carter
Genre: Horror, Blaxploitation
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:

Friggin' hilarious over-the-top Blaxploitation take on The Exorcist courtesy of unusual movie maven Mr. William Girdler. The way this plays out is that Abby is a marriage councilor who is happily wed to a Preacher. Life is peachy keen, and although she's an overachiever (what with all of her singing in the choir and other cliched good girl activities) things are good. Abby's Father-In-Law accidentally conjures up an evil demon of sexuality that invades her body. Suddenly Abby's voice is much lower, her new hobbies include ripping off her clothes, kicking her Husband in the groin and seducing weirdos in bars. The dialog is really what makes this such an entertaining feature, I couldn't stop laughing through parts. The horror end of things is weak, barely anyone dies but that isn't really the reason to watch, it's all about the '70sisms. Abby's demon make-up looks hilariously like that of The Incredible Hulk, and she does the usual things like levitate and so forth and endure an exorcism in typical possession fashion. Truthfully this is my first Blaxploitation flick (unless you count the remake of Shaft which I don't) and I did really like it, oh it's not classically good but if you like camp then you should adore this.

Availability:  On DVD

The Oblong Box (1969) aka Dance, Mephisto

2.5 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: For the first time... the classic tale of the restless dead and their unspeakable hungers!
Directed by: Gordon Hessler
Written by: Lawrence Huntington, Christopher Wicking, Edgar Allan Poe
Actors include: Rupert Davies, Vincent Price, Christopher Lee
Genre: Horror
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Sigh, to think I'd been holding back on watching this one because I thought it would be decent. Instead it turns out that it's the weakest Vincent Price film I think I've seen yet. First of all it claims to be based around the Edgar Allan Poe story of the same name, but it seems to share more in common with The Body Snatcher. The story is about Brothers Sir Julian Markham (Price), and his deformed sibling Sir Edward. The two were off in Africa when the "accident" happened that left Sir Edward disfigured shaming the bloodline Julian kept him chained away. Anyhow some sort of escape plan hatches for Sir Edward with some help, and he's drugged in order to escape in his coffin only to be dug up later of course. Julian is content thinking his Brother is dead, but when a feller in a red mask starts bothering people (as I don't see how tapping them with red paint would do any more than bother a person) he begins to wonder. I think this story could have been made to be interesting with a fair bit of tweaking, and of course raising the level of horror. This wasn't satisfying at all, even the kills were even boring! Even at 97 minutes it overstays it's welcome by a fair margin, I just wanted everyone to shut up and die already (not a really good sign). It's just shocking that a venture with Price and even having Christopher Lee appear in the film that it couldn't be any better than this. Watch all the other AIP, and Price flicks first, save this disappointment for a rainy day.

Availability:  On DVD

X-Men: First Class (2011)

3.5 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: Witness the origin
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Written by: Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz
Actors include: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence
Genre: Sci-Fi, Action, Adventure
Length: 132 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I wouldn't say I'm a big fan of the series, though I've barely explored it. I saw the first X-Men movie back when it came out, thought it was alright but never bothered with any of the sequels. Luckily for me this is filmed in such a way that seeing the first film was all I really needed. It goes back to the '60s when Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr were friends and learning to use their powers together. Together they recruit other mutants and start teaching them to use the power within to try to stop a missile crisis that could blow destroy everything. Be prepared for a ton of neat action sequences, some cheesy montages, and of course some neat mutant activity. They also did a rather good job of tying it into the first movie (heck even Wolverine makes a cameo which is the best part of the film) and yet it didn't feel like they were retreading. I did feel it went on a little long, and a bit of trimming from the beginning wouldn't have hurt, but for the most part it was satisfying and it covered a lot of territory. It's made me curious what I've missed with the other sequels, that is for sure.

Availability:  Still in theatres currently

Stake Land (2010)

4 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: The most dangerous thing is to be alive.
Directed by: Jim Mickle
Written by: Jim Mickle, Nick Damici
Actors include: Nick Damici, Connor Paolo, Kelly McGillis
Genre: Horror
Length: 98 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Thanks to Dark Sky Films (The House of the Devil) who seem to be trying to revive the modern horror genre single handedly, and thanks to Happywax (Doomgoryums Horror Emporium) for finding this gem and recommending it to me. It's definitely one of the best vampire pictures to have come out in a while, it actually feels more like a zombie film (which I tend to prefer). The set-up involves a teenage boy called Martin (an homage to Romero perhaps?) who's folks are brutally killed by vampire attack. A fellow called "Mister" (Nick Damici) saves Martin and takes him on as a traveling companion looking out for him. Mister has a bit of a dark side, he is rather violent which is helpful when dealing with vampire attacks but sometimes he gets a little carried away with the living (although I approved of his brutality). Along the way they meet several other survivors and help them out along the way of course. It's also pretty interesting because the setting is definitely post-apocalyptic, and the survival element was very well incorporated into the story. It has everything one could want, action, violence, blood and gore as well as good pacing and likeable characters so in other words watch it!

Availability:  on DVD and Blu-Ray
Stake Land [Blu-ray]

Thirst (1979)

3.5 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: Surrender to an Unholy, Insatiable Evil.
Directed by: Rod Hardy
Written by: John Pinkney
Actors include: Chantal Contouri, Shirley Cameron, Max Phipps
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although this isn't the fastest paced flick, nor is it the bloodiest flick ever it does have some unique qualities that keep it from biting. It's an Australian vampire picture from the '70s (which isn't very common), and there is a definite gothic feel to it. The plot is about a young woman called Kate (Chantal Contouri) who is kidnapped by a strange blood cult. Oh did I mention that Kate happens to be the direct descendent of Countess Elizabeth Bathory? What is so interesting is this blood cult I mentioned, see they have some sort of human cow factory thing set-up. Folks wander around in a daze like mindless zombies before being chosen to be drained of blood which goes into milk cartons for mass distribution. Kind of a neat idea on the 'ole blood trade/vampirism thing right? It is a shame that with such a good idea they couldn't have made a more thrilling movie. It just sort of explains itself and then the last half is pretty boring and forced feeling plus some more historical detail would have been nice. It also could have used more blood (there is very little actual horror in this, more conceptual I guess), and maybe a twist could have helped. Oh well as it is, it's still worth checking out, I found it pretty interesting, it just could have used some tweaking is all.

Availability:  On DVD

The Frog, The Dog, and the Devil (1986)

 4 / 5  Jun '11 
Tagline:  N/A
Directed by:  Bob Stenhouse
Written by:  Bob Stenhouse
Actors include:  N/A
Genre:  Horror, Comedy, Western, Animation, Short
Length:  8 minutes
Banned:  Nope





 

Review:
This is quite visually stunning, the style of animation and the horror inspired touches really make this a goodie.  This flick came from New Zealand, and in 1986 it was even nominated for an Oscar for best short picture.  It shows a Man who tricks a Barkeep out of a bottle of booze, then starts hallucinating things almost like he's haunted or something.  It's very surreal yet there is so much going on that it's incredibly easy to digest.  Quite an unusual treat, it's very whimsical and imaginative ode to drunkards. 

Availability:  I don't believe it's on DVD but watch it here:

Boo (1932)

 3.5 / 5  Jun '11 
Tagline:  N/A
Directed by:  Albert DeMond
Written by:  Albert DeMond
Actors include:  Morton Lowry
Genre:  Horror, Comedy, Short
Length:  10 minutes
Banned:  Nope





 
Review:
This is a rather cute little mash up of the current films that were popular at the time.  Expect scenes from Frankenstein, Nosferatu, and intriguingly the only surviving footage from a lost film called The Cat Creeps (okay well the sound reels only exist at this point).  Over top of the remix we have a narrator mocking the scenarios and throwing out cheap jokes (most of which work, some of which don't).  It's as cheesy as they come, but luckily I have an healthy appreciation for cheese.  It weighs in at around ten minutes which is perfect because it starts to run out of steam towards the end.  Still worthy of a gander for genre fan, thanks so much to my pal Happywax (Doomgoryums Horror Emporium) for mentioning this one to me!

 Availability:  I don't believe it's on DVD but watch it here:

Night of the Zombies (1981)

1 / 5 Jun '11
Tagline: The dead are hungry... and they're coming to eat you alive!
Directed by: Joel M. Reed
Written by: Joel M. Reed
Actors include: Jamie Gillis, Samantha Grey, Ryan Hilliard
Genre: Horror
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Wow what a steaming pile of movie this was, it brought me back to memories of the nearly equally bad and similarly plotted French flick L'Abîme des morts vivants (Oasis of the Zombies). Director Joel M. Reed was responsible for the amusingly sleazy flick Bloodsucking Freaks so I had some high hopes here. It's just one of the most boring and lazily cheap zombie films one could ever come across. Even if you have a plan in place to watch every zombie movie ever, I'd shuffle this one to the bottom of your pile. I think they must have decided that effects are too darned expensive so much of the film is shot in the dark so you can't see much of anything. The zombies when can be seen have white face paint with black around the eyes...very Halloween costumey. The premise is about a group of Investigators who are looking for the missing bodies of Soldiers. They come across rumors of zombies in the area which of course they are quick to dismiss and laugh at. I'm sure you can guess what this means...it's just so frigging dull and dry. The acting is horrid, the plot is weak, there is nothing scary or gory about this whatsoever...what was Joel M. Reed thinking? What were any of them thinking? Even fans of bad movies will be insanely bored...it's not even that good! Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!

Availability:  on VHS only i think

Night Of The Living Bread (1990)

4 / 5  Jun '11
Tagline: The Bread Still Rises!
Directed by:  Kevin S. O'Brien
Written by:  Kevin S. O'Brien
Actors include:  Vince Ware, Katie Harris, Robert J. Saunders
Genre:  Horror, Comedy, Short
Length:  8 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:

As soon as I read the title I though "gee this is going to be absolutely stupid", and I was right but it's gloriously stupid.  I really was surprised how funny they could make this considering yes...no tricks, it's Night of the Living Dead crammed into eight minutes with bread.  An explosion at a bakery causes bread to attack people and a small group of people have gathered at an abandoned farm house for refuge.  They were rather clever in choosing which scenes to reenact, and the way they went about most scenes was pretty wise as well.  It just looks like they must have had a ton of fun making it, and heck I had a ton of fun watching it, perhaps you should too!

Availability:  It's available as a bonus feature on a version of Night of the Living Dead, or watch it here:

The Contraption (1977)

4 / 5  Jun '11
Tagline:  James Dearden
Written by:  James Dearden
Actors include:  Richard O'Brien, Charlotte Cornwell
Genre:  Horror, Short, Mystery
Length:  8 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:

Such strange little short film, I can honestly say I've seen nothing like it before and that's too bad really.  It's so simple yet so entertaining, it's definitely memorable as well.  It starts out like a Home Improvement show as watch a man maniacally build....yes a contraption.  We don't know what it is until of course it's used so hang in there (it's only 8 minutes c'mon here).  It's actually silent barring one line of dialogue at the end, but it doesn't need words.  Not much I can say without giving anything away so just watch it here and be amused: 

Availability:  I don't believe it's on DVD

Le Spectre Rouge (1907) aka The Red Spectre

4.5 / 5  Jun '11
Tagline:  N/A
Directed by:  Segundo de Chomón, Ferdinand Zecca
Written by:  Segundo de Chomón
Actors include:  N/A
Genre:  Horror, Short, Fantasy
Length:  9 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:  
I can't say how impressed I am with this short French film, it's insanely pretty and engrossing.  The red tint to the film just emits such a fantastic atmosphere, and the amount of detail put into this is impressive.  The film is so well reserved, it's remarkable not to mention the fact that it's nearly nonstop filled with tricks (even if they are rather obvious remember this was 1907!) and flashes of fire.  The plot is about a coffin that sinks into the bowels of earth which contains a Demon Magician (that looks like a horned skeleton).  Out comes the Demon and we watch him perform a few tricks.  He then takes two girls, wrap them in tarps, causes them to levitate and lights them on fire!  Later a Good Spirit shows up to oppose this action and to try to stop the Demon.  It's only a little over nine minutes long and it's available here on youtube to watch.  I highly suggest you hit "play" on this one.

Availability:  I don't believe it's on DVD

Dracula Bites The Big Apple (1979)

4 / 5 June '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Richard Wenk
Written by: Fred Olsen
Actors include: Barry Gomolka, Peter Loewy, Steve Rubell
Genre: Horror, Comedy, Musical, Short
Length: 22 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is admittedly very campy and silly but with a musical/disco themed Dracula short film in New York from the '70s...what the heck do you expect? Dracula runs out of blood in Transylvannia, so he and Renfield (who looks spun out on something) pack in the coffin and take on New York. It's most certainly a comedy, in fact it really is very funny in parts what with the whole fish out of water scenario. Our story also takes Dracula to Studio 54 because he heard hot blooded folks would be there (har har), but of course he can't get in because he can't dance. It's far from scary, and on a horror front aside from the theme it isn't the most effective but judge it on it's merits alone and I think it's pretty entertaining. I wish there were more quirky little short films from the '70s like this one, definitely a lot of fun indeed. On a side note, this short film helped Richard Wenk fund his full length '80s flick Vamp which I also quite enjoy.

Availability:  Not on DVD but watch on youtube: 

Left Turn (2001)

3 / 5  June '11
Tagline:  N/A
Directed by:  Sean Ellis
Written by:  Sean Ellis
Actors include:  Lucy Russell, Andrew Tiernan, Heather Jay-Jones
Genre:  Horror, Short
Length:  15 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:
This is a remake of a short film from 1978 called Panic which is one of the best I've ever seen.  Unfortunately this one isn't nearly as creepy and the subtly that made the other so special is lacking.  The story is a goodie, it's about a Woman who goes out in the rain and picks up an old woman hitchhiker.  She gets a sneaky feeling that something isn't right and convinces the Woman to get out of the car (to check for a flat) and drives off leaving her there.  The Woman leaves her bag inside the car, and the Woman takes it to the Police station, they open the bag only to find an aresenal of weapons!  It's an okay way to spend 15 minutes, but the other story is so dang effective I was actually excited about seeing what they had done with the remake but this pales in comparison. 

Availability:  Not on DVD but is on Youtube

Panic (1978)

5 / 5 June '11
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: James Dearden
Written by: James Dearden
Actors include: Julie Neesam, Peter Blake, Avis Bunnage
Genre: Horror, Short
Length: 17 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Wow what a fantastically creepy little short story, especially considering I haven't heard very much about it. This is the sort of film that doesn't smack you over the face with the horror, it's subtle but oh so effective. It's about a young woman called Mandy who we watch get in a spat with her boyfriend. She drives off into the rainy night and decides to perform an act of kindness by picking an old Woman (who happens to be the creepiest hitch-hiker I've ever seen) at the bus stop. She quickly becomes weirded out by this Woman and fakes a flat tire to get her out of the car. The old Woman leaves the bag she was clutching in the car, and this is where the horror begins. It's so gosh darned effective, I really couldn't ask for much more in such a short amount of time. This tale was remade as Turn Left (2006) which throws in a hint of the gratuity that this one didn't have, but it wasn't nearly as frightening.

Availability:  Not on DVD I don't think