Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974) aka Kronos aka Vampire Hunter

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Evil Ends Here.
Directed by: Brian Clemens
Written by: Brian Clemens
Actors include: Horst Janson, Caroline Munro, Shane Briant
Genre: Horror, Adventure
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Pretty amusing entry into the line of Hammer vampire pictures, this one follows a different sort of tale. See the vampires in this actually suck life from their victims and only leave a bit of blood on the side of their mouths. Additionally they prey on young women and when finished, their faces are extremely aged (or rather they each turn to the face of an old man wearing a wig). There is a heroic vampire hunter by the name of Captain Kronos (Horst Janson) fighting the good fight along with a wench he saved and his hunchback assistant. Thing is, Kronos isn't your typical hero, he's very into sexy ladies and he's been known to smoke herbal cigarettes (nudge nudge wink wink) and well he's a different sort of feller. Admittedly the hooded faceless vampire lurking about the woods is rather creepy and the idea is a very interesting one and it has a neat style to it. I also appreciate that it's unlike any of the others from Hammer that I've seen so far and it's very easy to appreciate. It's not their finest but it's far from their worst, a definite one to watch despite the lack of star power.

Availability:  On DVD

Slaughter High (1986)

3.5 / 5

Tagline: Take a Trip Through the Halls of Horror!

Directed by: George Dugdale, Mark Ezra

Written by: George Dugdale, Mike Ezra

Actors include: Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Carmine Iannaccone

Genre: Horror

Length: 91 minutes

Banned: Nope

 

 

Review:

This definitely has a lot going for it, and a lot wrong with it. See the deaths in this slasher are superb...things I've always wanted to see in graphic detail and well done. The acting is laughably terrible for the most part, it's very cheap (minus the effects) and predictable as heck. The good news is, it knows exactly what it is, has a good sense of humor and some serious gratuity. The idea is a recycled one, an April Fool's Day prank played on a nerd by the cool kids goes horribly wrong and the nerd ends up disfigured and wanting revenge. When the cool kids find themselves all invited to a reunion in a deserted area and nobody claims to have sent the invites they start to think maybe something is wrong. Well they know something's wrong when one by one they end up dead in gruesome ways. Were the ending not so stupid I would have awarded this an extra .5 star, but let's face it...it's a classic but only in the sense that it's bad but immensely entertaining.

Availability:  On DVD

The Cremator (1969) aka Spalovac mrtvol

2.5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Juraj Herz
Written by: Ladislav Fuks
Actors include: Rudolf Hrusínský, Vlasta Chramostová, Jana Stehnová
Genre: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I guess this one just wasn't for me...over my head or too artsy or whatever you want to say. I did think the black comedy element was rather amusing, it did give me a few giggles. I can also recognize that it is a rather disturbing portrait really, a Cremator who absolutely loves his job wayyy too much. He also gets in with the wrong crowd and he begins to be obsessed with ridding the world of the Jews. Only trouble his, his family are part Jewish (you see where this is going) and as his dementia grows well let's just say the movie gets crazier. It's extremely dark, the artsy way it's shot seems to be a little too much for me, I found it nearly schizophrenic in places and hard to pay attention too. Unnecessarily obtuse I guess, but I'm sure that is just me as so many love this film. It's depraved sure, but not in a way I find very effective, watch it if you are curious because well I'm in the minority.

Availability:  On DVD

The Black Scorpion (1957)

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: DON'T BE ASHAMED TO SCREAM - IT HELPS TO RELIEVE THE TENSION
Directed by: Edward Ludwig
Written by: Robert Blees, David Duncan
Actors include: Richard Denning, Mara Corday, Carlos Rivas
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Not bad, okay well it's a sort of half and half really. See all of the talking and the lead-up to the "invasion" are duller than dirt. The characters are absolutely boring and there is a ton of pointless scientific jargon that I dare anyone to pay attention to. It's really like a cheaper less exciting retelling of Them! when it all comes down. After volcanic activity occurs, giant evil black scorpions and other large creatures (like worms and spiders) come out of the earth and begin their attack! The giant scorpion really does resemble the box art (which I love) and the effects are much better than one might think even though they reuse a lot of the same footage. There are at least dueling scorpions, a cavern of danger and several other things to look forward to. It's worth the wait so long as one is patient enough to get to the action over halfway into the film, it's just a shame because it really could have been awesome!

Availability:  On DVD

Don't Answer The Phone (1980)

2 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: He'll Know You're Alone
Directed by: Robert Hammer
Written by: Michael D. Castle, Robert Hammer
Actors include: James Westmoreland, Ben Frank, Flo Lawrence
Genre: Horror
Length: 94 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I do tend to like many movies with instructions in the title, but this was not one of them. It is a sleazy film, I'll give it that, our murderer (who is never kept a secret) is rather evil looking and says many mean things to the women he's torturing. Between acts of violence we have terrible homemade synth music, terrible acting and let's not forget the glue that holds this boring flick together....pointlessness. Whenever we don't have the killer on screen we are watching some stupid unrelated therapy take place, or a woman answer the phone for a radio show or unrelated Police work. It goes out of it's way to try to be nasty which in a way I appreciate but the long pieces of film with only stupid things happening completely ruined any effect it might have had. It's a shame that this couldn't have been made better by someone else because the idea of an evil dude killing people often does work. Watch Don't Go in the House instead, it's sleazier more cruel and exciting all the way instead of this low rent exploitation slop.

Availability:  On DVD

The Girl Who Knew Too Much (1963) aka La Ragazza Che Sapeva Troppo aka The Evil Eye

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: What Does It Want? What Will Satisfy Its Cravings?
Directed by: Mario Bava
Written by: Mario Bava, Enzio Corbucci
Actors include: John Saxon, Letícia Román, Valentina Cortese
Genre: Giallo, Thriller, Horror
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
So this is arguably the first giallo film, and although it's not my favorite it's still pretty darned amusing. It's actually Mario Bava's final black and white film which gives it a sort of class however I hate to say this but I'd rather it were in color. Thing is with gialli films there is often so much garish color and that is a huge tool in many of them. This doesn't rely on that obviously but it does have a good story, some interesting characters and plenty of little twists and even quite a sense of humor. When American girl Nora sees too much (go figure) she ends up being knocked out in near Trafalgar square. After she's taken to hospital she meets a charming Doctor Marcello (John Saxon who is so much younger here than I'm used to) who wants to help her. See the thing she saw was the latest victim of the Alphabet Murderer (killing by last name in order A, B and C are already dead) and she wants to try to solve the crime. Of course things get dangerous and there are surprises around every corner, but it's a pretty engaging little flick really. We do get the gloves, a giant set of stairs, various red herrings and well the stage is pretty well set for everything that followed (though I didn't spot a bottle of J&B...maybe I missed it?). Definitely one to watch though I hate to say I prefer the sleazier titles!

Availability:  On DVD

The Children (1980) aka The Children Of Ravensback

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: ...thank God they're somebody else's!
Directed by: Max Kalmanowicz
Written by: Carlton J. Albright, Edward Terry
Actors include: Martin Shakar, Gil Rogers, Gale Garnett
Genre: Horror
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
After a busload of singing children (from Ravensback hence the alternate title) go through a puff of smoke (or radiation I believe it was supposed to be) and disappear. When they finally do start to turn up they have black fingernails (which means they are zombies), and when they hug their loved ones (which causes the cheap effect of their skin rotting away) death occurs. Some of the "hugging" is even offscreen...pretty lazy really not to mention that when children aren't on screen barely anything happens. Oh and this amused me, the sound they use when the kids are hugging is actually cats in heat hehe. Everything about this film is uber cheap but somehow it's to the point and easy enough to watch despite several bad actors. This is completely scareless, but maybe a slight bit better put together than some Troma features...same category anyhow. At least we are treated to people shooting children...that's always good for a fun time!

Availability:  On DVD

Die! Die! My Darling! (1965) aka Fanatic

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: She's One Mean Mother-in-Law!
Directed by: Silvio Narizzano
Written by: Anne Blaisdell, Richard Matheson
Actors include: Stefanie Powers, Talullah Bankhead, Peter Vaughan
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
Although not the most original idea, it was a bucket of fun thanks to Tallulah Bankhead (in her final role) as a demented religious fanatic called Mrs. Trefoil...seriously awesomely evil performance. Stefanie Powers plays pretty and likeable Pat Carroll who was engaged to Mrs. Trefoil's son Stephen before he died. At Mrs. Trefoil's behest Pat comes to visit her at her house before planning to run off and marry a man named Allan. The only thing is, Pat isn't allowed to leave and it seems that Mrs. Trefoil is completely insane and seems to blame her for Allan's death! Also in this plot here we have Mrs. Trefoil's other son Harry whom she doesn't seem to like as much, and his wife Anna (Man About The House's Yootha Joyce) and also there is the handicapped Joseph (hilariously played by Donald Sutherland). It's not the most eventful film, but the performances make it more than worthwhile plus who doesn't love watching crazy people?
 
Availability:  On DVD

The Most Dangerous Game (1932)

5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack
Written by: James Ashmore Creelman, Richard Connell
Actors include: Joel McCrea, Fay Wray, Leslie Banks
Genre: Adventure, Thriller, Horror,
Length: 63 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
This truly was an experience one won't soon forget, it's filled with excitement, danger and it has one heck of a story! The really amazing thing is that the film is just over an hour long and it was from 1932...it's pretty evil considering. After a boat capsizes a man swims to safety who just happens to be a big game hunter (his companions were mainly eaten by sharks). He ends up on this deserted island well deserted except for the large castle of Count Zaroff...another hunter who has found a new game he loves to hunt. Also involved here are two others who were shipwrecked their earlier including the charming Fay Wray and her brother. It seems that when folks are shown the Count's trophy room they never seem to come back! This really has just about everything in it and never a dull moment to be had.  Highly recommended for anyone, one heck of a high quality flick that is easy to love and has most definitely been highly influential to many.

Availability:  On DVD

What's The Matter With Helen? (1968) aka The Box Step

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Curtis Harrington
Written by: Henry Farrell
Actors Include: Debbie Reynolds, Shelley Winters
Genre: Crime, Drama, Horror, Musical
Length: 141 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I kind of hoped for more with this as I really like Shelley Winters and well Debbie Reynolds is pretty amusing too. The two play very best friends who's Sons have been arrested for murder, so they decide to flee for a new life. Adelle (Reynolds) is the talented one, she opens her own dance studio for children and seems to have quite a few singing and dancing numbers. Unfortunately we have to watch plenty of children tap dance and sing entire numbers throughout the film (I could have totally done without this). Helen (Winters) is the more religious and timid creature desperate for Adele's friendship though she pretty much lives in a shell. Things are going swimmingly until Adele meets the man of her dreams and plans to marry him, then we are all wondering....what's the matter with Helen? For long periods of the film nothing much happens, I know they are trying to establish the two women's relationships but it's overly boring. Once Helen starts acting strange things definitely pick up and getting interesting but it's almost too little too late. At least parts of this were worthwhile, and it is rather campy which makes it somewhat entertaining even when it's dull. Not the best film by far but this will definitely appeal to some.

Availability:  On DVD as part of a 2fer with "Who Slew Auntie Roo"

Black Cat Mansion (1958) aka Borei kaibyo yashiki aka The Mansion of the Ghost Cat

3.5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Nobuo Nakagawa
Written by: Jiro Fujishima, Yoshihiro Ishikawa
Actors include: Toshio Hosokawa, Midori Chikuma, Yuriko Ejima
Genre: Drama, Horror
Length: 69 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a rather unusual film in many ways, it's half in black & white and half in color (oddly it's the flashback part that's in color?). It starts out with a Doctor and his wife who've moved out in the country for peace and quiet to this eerie home. People start seeing this elderly ghost woman who keeps trying to strangle the ailing wife. Then we flashback to the history of the house and the curse, we meet the evil Lord Shogen who has tons of power and is very violent. He plays a game called Go (which appears like pebble checkers perhaps) and in a violent disagreement he kills his opponent. His ghost comes back to warn his wife that Lord Shogen was to blame for his demise but it doesn't stop there. Shogen abuses the wife and drives her to insanity and death, but not before she makes her cat & it's generations take revenge on family members of Lord Shogen. The black and white segments are actually creepy and very atmospheric, the color segments are more lively but unfortunately the "cat" effects are pretty hilariously cheesy. Considering this was 1958 it's very advanced and even violent picture, it's quite lovely to look at. It's just very short, rather strange and somewhat muddled I suppose, still worth a viewing, especially for fans of early Asian cinema. I'm shocked this seems like a very unknown flick, it's rather amusing and absurd in a good way.

Availability:  On DVD however I'm not sure which region or where to get it

The Spell (1977)

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Lee Philips
Written by: Brian Taggert
Actors include: Lee Grant, Susan Myers, Helen Hunt
Genre: Horror, Thriller, Drama
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Imagine you are a 15 year old girl named Rita that is slightly overweight. Now imagine you have a perfect thin little sister aged 13 (in this case played by a young Helen Hunt) who can do no wrong in your Parent's eyes. Now imagine that you are teased constantly at school, then when you get home your Father seems to hate you as does your sister also because you are overweight. It's oddly very realistic seeming...this sort of thing does go on and it's very much the way it's portrayed here, the acting in this is quite impressive really. When things start to go wrong with those who make fun of the 15 year old people are getting scared...could Rita have anything to do with this? It definitely does echo Carrie in several ways but I wouldn't exactly say that this is a rip-off, it's quite different. This isn't filled with blood and torment (though the boiling from the inside scene is quite a treat), it's more of a drama with horrific elements but it's a good drama. It's a rather intense tale and for a made-for-tv movie it's quite good really and it's available to watch for free on the internet...who can argue with that?

Availability:  Not on DVD but available to watch for free online here:  http://www.hulu.com/watch/92741/the-spell