The Ghastly Ones (1968)

3 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: A Gruesome Orgy Of Human Mutilation!
Directed by: Andy Milligan
Written by: Andy Milligan
Actors include: Veronica Radburn, Maggie Rogers, Hal Borske
Genre: Horror
Length: 72 minutes
Banned: UK

Review:
It's weird because this film is extremely cheap feeling and in the spirit of a Herschell Gordon Lewis, it's just Lewis has some special flair and comical element that makes his movies extremely entertaining. Andy Milligan does have his moments for sheer absurdity and attempting some major gore stuff, it's just not nearly as proficient and well his basic filming skills are very lacking. Also considering this film is only 72 minutes and much of it felt like filler well that does say a fair bit doesn't it? This is meant to be a period piece though I would say it only seems that way in parts, the impressive thing is that Milligan apparently made all the costumes as well as writing, directing and producing this flick. It's about a group of siblings and their spouses who are supposed to spend 3 days in an isolated mansion in order to claim their inheritance. It's got a bit of a mystery vibe as we aren't to know who's brutally killing off the guests. The half-wit character who eats live rabbits seems to be my favorite part but I think he's the reason this was deemed a video nasty. This does have some cheaply graphic killings that are pretty funny, but the cheesy nature makes them very easy to watch and I can't imagine much of this movie offending anyone. Still if you like super cheap gore flicks this does have a certain appeal, I sort of enjoyed it in a way I suppose! It's just so ineptly filmed and with such awkward and silly dialogue and pointless ugly nudity that most will want to avoid this.

Availability:  On DVD as part of a 2fer with Seeds Of Sin

Attack Of The Crab Monsters (1957)

3 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: From the depths of the sea... a tidal wave of terror!
Directed by: Roger Corman
Written by: Charles B. Griffith
Actors include: Richard Garland, Pamela Duncan, Russell Johnson
Genre: Sci-fi, Horror
Length: 62 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Oh it's pretty cheesy and if it had been any longer than 62 minutes I might have had to drop my rating slightly but it's a slick to the point monster film and nothing more. It's cheap surely, but it's an early Roger Corman flick, what does one expect? Considering how early this is it does have a bit of blood and disaster in it, and the crab monsters do look menacing I suppose. The monster in this case (as was the case with many films of this time) was created because of the H-Bomb but the unusual thing about these crab creatures is that they can imitate the voices and thoughts from the people they kill. Sort of an odd twist that I liked to the whole thing, however generic in some ways it feels. This isn't going to make a heck of a lot of sense to anyone nor is it one of the best science fiction pieces, but there is something entertaining about it but that's the Corman in it I think. Worth a view for genre fans but not necessary for most I'd say.

Availability:  On DVD

The Legend Of The 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

2.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Deadly Horrors! Dragon Thrills! The First Kung Fu Horror Spectacular!
Directed by: Roy Ward Baker
Written by: Don Houghting
Actors include: Peter Cushing, David Chiang, Julie Ege
Genre: Action, Horror
Length: 83 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I really didn't care for this, it's Hammer's last vampire picture and it's my least favorite by far. It combines the world of kung fu in with Dracula and I'm afraid the two don't fit together. The film was basically plotless though the spirit of Dracula (made up to look like Christopher Lee's version of Dracula only much cheaper) goes into the spirit of a fighter warlord guy in order to look after 6 other vampires. One of the only good things about this is the fact that Peter Cushing appears as Van Helsing but it's simply not enough to make this interesting. Much of the film is sword fighting group scenes with too much going on at once, and since they didn't bother with character development it's hard to give a hoot. That and it seems that it just keeps repeating over and over again making this film feel ridiculously long even though it really wasn't. It's even more shocking to see that Roy Ward Baker was one of the directors, he is usually on point! Well I should mention that I don't much care for kung fu movies and maybe that is why I really thought this was a bore, but then again maybe this was just lazy?

Availability:  On DVD

Funeral Home (1980) aka Cries In The Night

3 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: It'll have you screaming for morning!
Directed by: William Fruet
Written by: Ida Nelson
Actors include: Kay Hawtrey, Lesleh Donaldson, Barry Morse
Genre: Horror
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
There isn't anything here that you haven't seen before, but the serious way they play this story makes it somewhat worthwhile. The tale is about a girl who goes to her Grandmother's house to help her change it from a funeral home to a bed and breakfast (you can see where this is going right?). As soon as they are ready to open the guests start disappearing, but why? It's a bit of a mystery and there are several red herrings but it becomes rather clear very quickly what's going on. It's not very satisfying on a gore level, it's not very frightening and although it's watchable it's not filmed the nicest (though maybe it was my cheap DVD version that made me say that). I think also knowing that William Fruet directed this made it a little bit more disappointing because I really loved his film Death Weekend which I do definitely recommend. This isn't one of the worst slashers of the '80s but it's pretty average really, this often gets mentioned as one of the underrated gems of the time but I'm afraid I feel it's rather forgettable.

Availability:  On DVD

Corridors Of Blood (1958)

4.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Tops In Terror!
Directed by: Robert Day
Written by: Jean Scott Rogers
Actors include: Boris Karloff, Betta St. John, Christopher Lee
Genre: Drama, Horror
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although it's not really a horror movie in the big picture, it's a depressing drama with horrific elements more like. Oh I should mention this is a period piece, and a rather well made one at that and I'm not sure how historically accurate it is but it's interesting none the less. Boris Karloff is wonderful as Dr. Thomas Bolton, the kindly Doctor who in his free time experiments in order to find a way to make surgery painless. Bolton finally is onto something and sets up a demonstration with the Medical board, only it goes very badly and from then on he finds nobody wants to listen to him. Particularly when he refines his breakthrough and is desperate to help people but isn't allowed. Other issues arise when Dr. Bolton becomes addicted to the substances he's experimenting with and well things go more downhill from there. He ends up being forced to deal with scummy folks similar to Burke & Hare (one is played by Christopher Lee in one of his earliest roles). I was truly surprised what a great actor Karloff really is, this proves it. Although this may not appeal to every horror fan I think fans of good movies should definitely enjoy this.

Availability:  On DVD

The Uncanny (1977)

4 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Cats aren't always cute and cuddly!
Directed by: Denis Héroux
Written by: Michel Parry
Actors include: Peter Cushing, Ray Milland, Joan Greenwood
Genre: Horror
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I'd actually heard this wasn't very good so I was rather surprised that I quite liked it. It's a trilogy of tales revolving around cats (why wouldn't I like it?)! Peter Cushing although he receives top billing is only the fellow tying our tales together as he is writing a tale on cats who kill...or something like it. The first story is about a rich Woman who decides to rewrite her will to leave everything to her cats instead of her Nephew. When her Nephew's girlfriend catches wind of this they devise a scheme to get rid of the will only the cats have another thing in store! Although this story starts off a little uninterestingly it picks up to a gruesome treat that I've always hoped to see. The next tale is about a young girl named Lucy who's parents have died in a plane crash. She is sent to live with this rich snooty family (her Aunts) with a bratty daughter who reminds me of Veruca Salt. The family doesn't want her to keep her beloved cat against medical advice and they take the cat off to be killed, well imagine their surprise when the cat returns! This is a very entertaining little story, sort of like a fairy tale gone wrong in the best way. Lastly we have a tale about a pendulum and swapping out a fake blade for a real one in order to create a part for an actress in a play. It's the least interesting of the three and the most star studded! Samantha Eggar has never been so gosh darned irritating before even though it's obviously being put on it's just too much. Overall though I think cat lovers and horror lovers need to see this, I am both and I thought this was quite a load of fun.

Availability:  Not on DVD that I know of except in PAL

Dust Devil (1992)

3.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: He's not a serial killer. He's much worse
Directed by: Richard Stanley
Written by: Richard Stanley
Actors include: Robert John Burke, Chelsea Field, Zakes Mokae
Genre: Horror, Western
Length: 108 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a rather unusual tale and for it's creativity I do offer it some kudos, now could it have been better...yes but the story still makes it worthwhile. The plot is about a shapeshifter in the desert who preys upon lonely and suicidal women. After a girl named Wendy breaks it off with her Husband and starts driving she picks up the dust devil as a hitchhiker (see he seems to appeal to lonely women and he's not half bad looking either). They strike some sort of bond up and before we know it the two are engaged in some sex and things seem pretty good. That is until Wendy starts noticing some things aren't quite right plus he's a little more cruel than one might expect... It's a rather ambitious film, the landscape is rather lovely and like that of a western film, and the violence is definitely neat and should appeal to horror fans. There is a bit of a romantic subplot and a few other things going on but it is definitely interesting and unusual. I think most will get something out of this though it is far from perfect, definitely one of the more interesting horror films I've seen and it's African setting makes it all the more fascinating. Still it is missing something, including scares and tension but yet I'd still recommend it to most.

Availability:  On DVD

The Premature Burial (1962)

4 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Within the Coffin I Lie...ALIVE!
Directed by: Roger Corman
Written by: Charles Beaumont, Edgar Allan Poe
Actors include: Ray Milland, Hazel Court, Richard Ney
Genre: Horror, Drama, Mystery
Length: 81 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
I quite liked this 'un but the pairing of Poe and Roger Corman is a pretty easy win. In this tale a fellow named Guy (Ray Milland) who's old girlfriend Emily (Hazel Court) has come back into his life hoping to get married. The two wed despite protests from Guy's sister Kate but soon it becomes clear that something is wrong with Guy. He's paranoid about being buried alive and he even builds an elaborate contraption of a coffin that would keep him from being buried alive. Emily feels he spends more time obsessing over his future death than with her and gives him the ultimatum of his contraption or her and well it goes on from there. It's pretty darkly comical and well presented, the acting is quite good and the story is clear and interesting. It also has some nice horror payoff in the end, and it's very short and sweet. An enjoyable well made little film that I think most should be able to enjoy!

Availability:  On DVD as part of a 2fer with The Masque Of The Red Death

The Resurrected (1992) aka Shatterbrain

4 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Dan O'Bannon
Written by: Brent V. Friedman, H.P. Lovecraft
Actors Include: John Terry, Jane Sibbett, Chris Sarandon
Genre: Horror
Length: 108 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although this does have a fascinating story (well it's based upon a story by H.P. Lovecraft so of course it's great) it has a very slow start but be patient because it really does work out to be great. See it looks very straight-to-video (and likely was), Claire played by actress Jane Sibbett (Carol from Friends) isn't the greatest, and there is too much narration in the beginning too. The effects are gross and mostly impressive, and although it is a bit too long they do cram a lot of story in there. Claire is a Wife coming to a Private Detective about her Husband's strange doings, he isn't himself anymore and he keeps receiving shipments of long boxes. There is also a horrible smell coming from her Husband's lab and some gruesome eaten corpses keep turning up too. Can they solve the mystery of what's going on before they are all killed...or before something even worse happens? It's a shame this isn't very available really it did make it to DVD but it seemed like it went out of print nearly immediately. This pretty much proves that Dan O'Bannon hasn't made a bad picture (that I've seen) yet, one to hunt for, just don't give up on it at first because I was mighty tempted.

Availability:  On DVD

Silent Scream (1980)

3 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: Terror so sudden there is no time to scream.
Directed by: Denny Harris
Written by: Wallace C. Bennett, Denny Harris
Actors include: Barbara Steele, Rebecca Balding, Cameron Mitchell
Genre: Horror
Length: 87 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I hate to say that I wasn't very impressed by this one because it does have a few things going for it. It's relatively well made and it seems as though it might have been relatively successful in it's day upon release. The acting is relatively decent, and the plot isn't bad either, the ending is even a bit of a treat yet still something was missing. We meet a young Woman named Scotty who is desperate for a place to stay until she finds this house near the beach that is available. She moves in and meets her other roomies including her love interest Peter, chunky girl Doris, nerdly guy who's romancing Doris and one of the biggest dorks ever Mason. Mason's nutty Ma (Yvonne De Carlo) lives in the house too, but don't disturb her! After tons of dull getting to know our characters (who are some of the least attractive cast ever minus Barbara Steele) and letting romance bloom crap it does finally get to where there is some violence. Sure it has some elements of the classic Psycho but not really where it counts. The soundtrack was unappealing, I didn't honestly care what happened to any of the characters and I kept thinking that something more sinister was going on then what actually was. The plot is overly predictable, it isn't very bloody and the deaths aren't inventive and really it's all been done before. A lot of people really love this one so maybe it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way but still I think it's worth a viewing if only to see Steele's character.

Availability:  On DVD

Aquella Casa En Las Afueras (1980) aka That House In The Outskirts

3.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Eugenio Martín
Written by: Antonio Cuevas, J.M. González Castrillo
Actors include: Javier Escrivá, Silvia Aguilar, Alida Valli
Genre: Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Director Eugenio Martín (Una vela para el diablo [It Happened at Nightmare Inn] which is rather similar in feel to this one and his more famous film Horror Express) makes this feel a little like a Spanish version of a Pete Walker film. It's not quite as sadistic as something Walker would give us but it's very dark and serious and something very sinister is going on. Although this is rather slowly paced it's gloomy feel and mysterious plot kept me interested. A rather pregnant woman called Nieves and her older husband Joaquim move out to this house on the outskirts to live on the main floor. The older woman who rented them the house and who lives on site offers to help out Nieves during her pregnancy. Immediately Nieves doesn't like the house, she has the feeling she's been there before but Joaquim feels she's just being strange because of her pregnancy. When some people show up looking for the Doctor the confusion starts to mount... It's actually really well put together as far as the plot goes, it takes quite a while to get going but when it does it's quite the horrific tale. Although it does borrow from some of the popular movies around the time the way this is presented is quite original and I can't think of anything quite like this. The copy I was able to get my mitts on isn't the nicest and I think this does deserve a proper release. Recommended so long as you practice a bit of patience, one of the better Spanish horror films I've come across.

Availability:  This has never been available on DVD as far as I know

Ratman (1988) aka Terror House aka Quella Villa In Fondo Al Parco

2.5 / 5 Mar '10
Tagline: He's The Critter From The Shitter!
Directed by: Giuliano Carnimeo
Written by: Dardano Sacchetti
Actors include: David Warbeck, Janet Agren, Eva Grimaldi
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Not the most exciting cheap Italian sleaze, in fact it's probably one of the weaker entries I've seen. The plot is paper thin, a ratman was created by a scientist I think using monkey sperm and a rat if I'm not mistaken. The ratman itself is rather amusing, a very little person in some extreme make-up and teeth with rat noises dubbed over top, kind of like the Zuni doll from Trilogy of Terror. When the dangerous ratman escapes some models are being bumped off (and their corpses have giant scratches all over 'em) between boring as heck photo shoots. This does have a fair bit of nudity if that be your thing but the parts that didn't have the creature were duller than dirt. It's a shame the cast wasn't into it, and the deaths aren't that great (often too dark or cutaway) though they don't mind showing some blood. All in all if you like strange Italian movies you'll maybe want to give this a try but I found it to be a bit of a struggle to sit through.

Availability:  On DVD