Julie Darling (1983) aka Daughter Of Death

5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: she's sweet, sixteen, and she simply loves her daddy..... she'll slaughter you if you love him too.
Directed by: Paul Nicholas, Maurice Smith
Written by: Paul Nicholas
Actors include: Anthony Franciosa, Sybil Danning, Isabelle Mejias
Genre: Horror, Exploitation
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Probably one of the absolute best Canuxploitation films I've seen...even if they are trying to pretend it's an American film pasting flags everywhere (yet they left in a shot of the CN Tower). At any rate this has everything going for it, particularly actress Isabelle Mejias in the role of Julie. Julie is a teenager living with her Father (who she's madly disturbingly in love with), and her awful Mother whom she hates. When the grocery boy gets fresh with Ma, and murders her, Julie has the ability to stop it but chooses to do nothing. When Dad remarries let's just say that trouble starts up again in extremely entertaining ways. It does have a fair amount of nudity and so forth in it, it's a sleazy movie...but the best possible kind. It's made with dark humor, clever plot turns and the dialogue is pretty wicked too. It was extremely entertaining (though very cheap not that it mattered), and one of the best girl gone evil movies I've ever seen. It's hard to come by (I looked for a copy for many years before someone kindly uploaded it for me) but it's well worth the hunt and the wait, most definitely a hidden horror gem worthy of discovery.

Availability:  On DVD

The House Of The Devil (2009)

4 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: Talk on the Phone. Finish Your Homework. Watch TV. Die.
Directed by: Ti West
Written by: Ti West
Actors include: Jocelin Donahue, Mary Wuornov, Tom Noonan
Genre: Horror
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Finally a newer movie for those of us who don't like newer movies, I thought this was a lot of fun. It's set in 1982 (and they beat us over the head with this though it's fun to watch), but the plot is similar to several films of the late '70s (which I love). The story is about a young woman who is in need of moula, so she answers an add for a babysitter. Right from the start things don't seem quite right, and well let's just say that things get more and more doomy from there. I really liked that the folks who put the ad out were played by Mary Woronov and Tom Noonan both of whom are a lot of fun to watch. Now the story sort of builds and builds without a heck of a lot happening for the first bit, but I think it's creating atmosphere and dread. If you are just out for a gore film, this does have some but it's more of a story based film, which I appreciated. This may not be for everyone, but I thought it was a heck of a lot of fun, and well made to boot. Definitely one of the best horror films of the decade, I hope this new vintage trend continues, I'm sold!

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Dead End (2003)

3.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: Read the signs.
Directed by: Jean-Baptiste Andrea, Fabrice Canepa
Written by: Jean-Baptiste Andrea, Fabrice Canepa
Actors include: Ray Wise, Lin Shay, Alexandra Holden
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 85 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although I thought this was relatively enjoyable there were some extremely cheesy things that kept this from being great. The story is about a family driving out on Christmas Eve to go to a relative's house. The father decides to take a short cut which lands them in a world of trouble. They end up on a extremely long road, all signs of life have disappeared except for a ghost (badly acted by model Amber Smith) who appears every time they have to stop the car. It's kind of a hybrid of a Stephen King novel and Identity in a way, sort of the mystery of what the heck is going on (though it's obvious). It's definitely a situational horror thing and it's quite effective on that level, there is some gore and even a tiny bit of comedy (I love Mom's drawing) packed in there. It's not the most amazing film one is likely to come across, but the family is well acted and somewhat believable and the what if factor is what really makes it work.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

3.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: Christine Brown has a good job, a great boyfriend, and a bright future. But in three days, she's going to hell.
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Written by: Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi
Actors include: Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver
Genre: Horror
Length: 99 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I'm actually surprised that I liked this, the last handful of new horror films I've watched were pretty lousy. It's very typical of his style still, it's got cartoonish violence and a very over the top nature which makes it quite comical and he doesn't scrimp on gross effects either. The story is rather entertaining, it's about a young loan officer named Christine (Alison Lohman) who is in line for a promotion at work. She's informed she'll have to make some tough decisions so when an ugly disgusting Gypsy woman comes in wanting an extension on her house loan, she decides to deny her. Let's just say things don't go so well from there as the Gypsy curses her and suddenly she's suffering in nearly every way imaginable. She's left racing about trying to figure out how to get rid of the curse, meanwhile she looks incredibly insane. It's quite a fun little picture and although it's very cheesy in many places, and far from frightening it still makes it's point, and I liked the concept. It kind of reminded me of Night of the Demon [Curse of the Demon] which is a better film but heck for a relatively new horror film I did like this and would recommend it.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

30 Even Scarier Movie Moments (2006)

2 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Jeff Rotter
Written by: N/A
Actors include: Rob Zombie, Eli Roth, Wes Craven
Genre: Horror, Documentary
Length: 90 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well, this was broadcast on Bravo Televison in 2 parts counting down 30 moments that were not on their top 100 Scariest Movie Moments broadcast. Unfortunately just like many sequels it's a far lesser list, heck I thought most of the films on this countdown were lousy but there were a few bright spots. The other issue with this series I have is that if you haven't seen the movie they will completely ruin it for you, so good advice if you are watching this and a movie you intend to see pops up, walk away or fast forward. Now as for what's included on the list, some of the stuff I really disliked that made the list included Open Water (one of the worst films I've ever seen bar none), Wolf Creek, Cabin Fever, and Devil's Rejects to name a few. Some of the better films mentioned were: The Hand That Rocked The Cradle, Hostel, Braindead (how that didn't make the first countdown is beyond me), Play Misty For Me, Videodrome, Scanners, A Clockwork Orange and so forth. Some of the entries were just laughable, like Christine (how is that frightening?), Fear (Marky Mark is scary how?), and The Stepford Wives (I liked it but I wouldn't say it's chilling). I think the most ridiculous part of this was watching the people involved jack off all over each other with praise, and heck they aren't above hyping themselves at all either. It really left kind of a sour taste in my mouth, I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised people like Eli Roth and Wes Craven are full of themselves but it's no fun to watch. Oh well something I definitely could have done without but if you are looking for the names of a few movies to watch and you want the plot ruined watch on.

Availability:  Not on DVD but it might air on TV again

Wolf Creek (2005)

2 / 5
Tagline: Based on true events
Directed by: Greg Mclean
Written by: Greg Mclean
Actors include:  John Jarratt, Cassandra Magrath, Kestie Morassi 
Genre: Horror
Length: 104 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well as I checked out the 100 Scariest Movies as voted by Empire magazine I saw this at number 4 and thought, gee I should check it out. Then I chatted to my Husband about it and we did watch it in 2005 which of course triggered my memory of how much I hated it. Heck I'm not one to forget movies I've seen so for me to have blanked it out entirely...not a good sign. It was in the style of a mean spirited slasher which usually is my thing, but this one was so cheesy that I couldn't get into it. The characters all needed to be killed, it just didn't happen fast enough for my liking and heck I didn't even sympathize with the killer...I just wanted the movie to end. The film is about a bunch of kids in their '20s who go hiking in the Australian Outback but when they return to their car it won't start. Luckily for them a local has offered to help them out...if you've seen The Texas Chain Saw Massacre you can probably guess what happens next. Though the gratuity is sort of a nice throwback to elder slashers it's missing all of the tension, scares and general style, this feels like a cheap generic slasher. This is one of those films that seems to polarize people, I thought it was lazy copycat modern horror but heck others love it, I guess the only answer is to see for yourself.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Schoolgirls In Chains (1973) aka Abducted

2.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: See It At Your Own Risk!
Directed by: Donald M. Jones
Written by: Donald M. Jones
Actors include: Gary Kent, John Parker, Stafford Morgan
Genre: Horror, Exploitation
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Meh, I kind of thought this would be better than it was, it's certainly a low budget exploitation film but it's not really as sleazy as I had anticipated. Two redneck moron brothers kidnap young ladies under the supervision of crazy Ma and keep them prisoner in the basement. They play games with the women that often lead to rape and torture etc and yes parts are a bit graphic but it all seemed so laughably poorly acted that it was hard to care or sympathize with anyone. It was dull enough that I felt like I was locked in their basement dying to get out. This is filled with misogyny and various things to offend various people but really it's nothing I haven't seen before more effectively made. There are a few things I suppose that were unique to this film like topless leap frog, and a needle in the rump of one of the girls, but if you like seeing women mistreated Bloodsucking Freaks is a far more entertaining venture.

Availability:  On DVD

Lady In White (1988) aka The Mystery Of The Lady In White

2.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: The year is 1962. The place is Willowpoint Falls. Nobody talks about what happened in the school cloakroom 10 years ago. Now, in the dead of night, Frankie Scarlatti is going to find out why.
Directed by: Frank LaLoggia
Written by: Frank LaLoggia
Actors include: Lukas Haas, Katherine Helmond, Alex Rocco
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, Kids, Horror
Length: 119 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Yet another film that I thought I would really like but it ended up leaving me cold. See I think at first I thought...oh this is a kid's movie set in the '60s. It's rather cartoonish and fluffy at the start, we meet a little boy named Frankie who gets locked in a school closet. He then witnesses a girl be carried away by a man who we can't really identify. The little girl keeps haunting him telling him she wants to go home, so he starts an investigation (he's like 8 or something). We learn shortly after that a mass child killer likely is the responsible person for this, and as the story starts to develop Frankie learns it might be someone he knows! It's not chilling or frightening enough for the subject matter, yet the subject matter makes it so that children probably shouldn't be watching it. I'm still not really sure who this film was actually intended for. It's sort of like a Scooby Doo episode only with a child murderer. That being said, it's not violent or satisfying at all on a horror movie front, it's really a young person's fantasy film I guess with a ghost. It's far from the worst thing ever and Lukas Haas does a good job in the role of Frankie. Just the story could use some explanation like why did the killing happen? Still an ok Halloween themed film for just the right person, though most seem to like this so perhaps give it a shot anyhow.

Availability:  On DVD

Mr. Vampire (1985) aka Geung si sin sang

4 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Ricky Lau
Written by: Ricky Lau, Cheuk-Hon Szeto
Actors include: Ching-Ying Lam, Ricky Lau, Siu-hou Chin
Genre: Action, Comedy, Horror
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Although I'm not sure this made a lick of sense were you to pull it apart it's not meant to be. It's purely entertaining absurd comedy with some kung fu action and a touch of horror thrown in. So I don't understand the why on most of this stuff but let's see if I can kind of give a plot synopsis. There is a Master, and two bumbling trainees, also an army of zombies who hop like bunnies (my favorite part) but are kept docile by putting spells on them. In fact spells (made from voodoo paper, and chicken's blood and sticky rice) seem to tame most things when they are in danger. There are also vampires, on of the assistants is bitten by a zombie and tries to stave off zombie effects by dancing around like a fool, and by filing his teeth and nails. The other assistant is possessed by some attractive ghost who throws her own head around. The lessons I learned from this film are that people in Hong Kong are very superstitious, you can't mix sticky rice with other rice, and that more zombies should bounce like bunnies, it's hilarious! It's well paced, action packed and full of laughs, definitely a winner for those of us looking for something rather strange but also very fun.  Also it's worth noting that there are several other entries into the Mr. Vampire series, but this is the first.

Availability:  On DVD

The Bloodstained Butterfly (1971) aka Una Farfalla Con Le Ali Insanguinate

2 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Duccio Tessari
Written by: Gianfranco Clerici, Duccio Tessari
Actors include: Helmut Berger, Giancarlo Sbragia, Ida Galli
Genre: Horror, Giallo, Mystery, Thriller
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I was surprised how little I liked this, it literally put my Husband and I to sleep three times (so maybe our judgement is effected by the fact that we watched it in 3 pieces over 2 days). Still it was the dullest giallo I've ever seen, all technical chatter about the solving of crimes and then a trial that was excruciating to sit through. The subs on this were extremely small so I felt like I'd read a novel by the end and usually I don't even notice subs. The film also seemed to skip out on the gratuity of other gialli and the colors and humor and violence...all not there. The actors were fine, it was nicely filmed and the scenery was lovely...that is the only good I can think of here. The story is about a girl who turns up murdered, then they go through the nonsense to find who they think is the killer. Then we watch the court trial. Then the story picks up slightly afterwards but it's too little too late by that point. I know this is a well regarded film amongst fans of giallo so you probably don't want to take my opinion on this one.

Availability:  On DVD

Assault! Jack The Ripper (1976) aka Bôkô Kirisaki Jakku

3.5 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Yasuharu Hasebe
Written by: Yasuharu Hasebe
Actors include: Yôko Azusa, Yutaka Hayashi, Tamaki Katsura
Genre: Horror, Exploitation, Adult
Length: 72 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Well this definitely borders on being pornography which is not my thing but the demented plot made up for it for me. The story is about two people who work at the same restaurant together. As they are driving home together they come across a woman who they sort of accidentally end up killing and they find it makes for awesome sex together. So together they go out and kill people (by slicing them from the groin upwards) just to have great sex. When the Male starts going out for kills without the Female (who is a butter face) some jealousy is involved and things kind of get even insane from there. It's very graphic and rewarding in a sadistic horror sense, it also does seem to have a bit of a sense of humor which I think helped the movie as well. Definitely an exploitation film that won't be for everyone, but it's pretty entertaining in a sick way for those of us who aren't offended by much.

Availability:  On DVD

Day Of The Animals (1977) aka Something Is Out There

3 / 5 Oct '10
Tagline: For centuries they were hunted for bounty, fun and food... now it's their turn
Directed by: William Girdler
Written by: William W. Norton
Actors include: Christopher George, Leslie Nielsen, Lynda Day George
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
One of those nature gone bad films, this time because we have been depleting the ozone layer somehow nature knows and is seriously pissed off. A group of hikers featuring Leslie Nielsen as a racist hilarious jerk are out and about when they notice the animals are acting strange. From our perspective we see many animals looking angry, particularly birds but some bears, dogs and cougars but they seemed lazy even reusing some shots with this. At any rate, a girl is attacked by a wolf (which is awesome), so she and her friend leave the group to go get help for her wounds. Along the way nature goes even more berserk and starts to cause fatalities (the deaths are pretty wicked). The group starts to have a divide and they split into two with Nielsen leading one of the packs and the tour guide leading the other with hilarious result. If you want to watch Nielsen dance with a bear, rats that fly and various other things that shouldn't exist but they do then this is worth your time. I was at least amused, it's better than I thought it might have been.

Availability:  On DVD