Willard (1971)

3.5 / 5
Tagline: Where your nightmares end...WILLARD begins.

Directed by: Daniel Mann

Written by: Gilbert Ralston
Actors include: Bruce Davison, Elsa Lanchester, Ernest Borgnine
Genre: Horror, Drama
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:

There is something wonderfully campy about this even though very little happens for a long time. Willard is a poor sad sack, he lives with his Mother and keeps to himself, he's also pushed around at his job by his boss Mr. Martin (played perfectly wickedly by Ernest Borgnine). Thing is, Willard is kind of a lazy jerk who has it coming to him which makes it a little hard to take his side, but eventually when things are pushed quite far I started to sympathize a tad. See Willard is pretty miserable and when Mother dies he's left with anger issues and only rats for friends. He starts putting them in his basement and before long it's filled with the yappy little rodents. Oddly enough he has a lady friend at work (who was hired to help him catch up at work) and they start to be slightly romantic but the basement full of rats is a slight hindrance. He doesn't seem to mind so much and even takes to bringing rats Socrates and Ben to work with him...until Mr. Martin kills Socrates! It's not a very effective "horror" film, but it is a rather compellingly strange drama about a Man who is losing it and his rat friends. At least there is some revenge here and although it's a bit dull at first it really does pick up. Not the classic I'd hoped it would be yet somehow still charming in a weird sort of way.

Availability:  Never on DVD

Holocaust 2000 (1977) aka Rain Of Fire aka The Chosen aka The Hex Massacre

3.5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: The world will be destroyed in a rain of fire. It is written.
Directed by: Alberto De Martino
Written by: Sergio Donati, Alberto De Martino
Actors include: Kirk Douglas, Simon Ward, Agostina Belli
Genre: Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Length: 106 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Sure this isn't the movie for everyone, it's very cheesy implausible and over the top but I think that's why I liked it. At first I thought it was going to be a dull talky with Kirk Douglas in it...that is until they stabbed his wife in the groin violently! (p.s. I didn't know that could kill someone?) Turns out Mr. Douglas is in charge of building a Nuclear Power in the Middle East. Douglas' creepy ugly son Angel seems to have very definite plans of his own, and doesn't mind taking over either. When Douglas meets and impregnates a new girlfriend things get even worse...especially when he hears that "his seed is evil"! Let's just say he doesn't want her to have the baby because he thinks it will be evil, but what if it isn't? Really I guess you could say this is an Italian take on The Omen with touches of Rosemary's Baby only way more ridiculous and campy. This is a must for those who love bad film that is entertaining, but a pass for those who like films that make sense.

Availability:  On DVD

The Shuttered Room (1967)

3.5 / 5  Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: David Greene
Written by: August Derleth, D.B. Ledrov
Actors include: Oliver Reed, Carol Lynley, Gig Young
Genre: Horror
Length: 99 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This was based upon a story written by Derleth of the same name which is based upon a portion of a Lovecraft story. We meet a young couple Mike and Susannah who are going back to Susannah's home to find out about her past. They are very clearly warned to stay the heck away from the townspeople and of course they won't listen. She goes back and stays where she was told to not and starts to learn of horrific murders that are happening. Worse still local thug Oliver Reed has taken a liking to pretty Susannah and his thug buddies are perfectly willing to distract Mike while he gets what he wants. Will the secret of the Mill be able to protect Susannah? It's a relatively simple mystery that they try to keep us in the dark about for most of the time but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Still pretty interesting storytelling once it gets going and some great chase scenes, just not thrilling throughout unfortunately.

Availability:  On DVD as part of a 2fer with It!

Night Of Fear (1972)

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Hunted and Trapped, Her Nightmare Is Just Beginning!
Directed by: Terry Bourke
Written by: Terry Bourke
Actors include: Norman Yemm, Carla Hoogeveen, Mike Doorsey
Genre: Horror
Length: 54 minutes
Banned: Australia

Review:
This was actually a really cool discovery from Australia, this was meant to be the pilot episode for a 12 part tv series called "Fright". The problem was, they deemed this episode too gory for airing and it was banned even in Australia and the show never stood a chance. Consider that this was made in 1972 and it predates The Texas Chain Saw Massacre by two years it's actually impressively fresh. After a young blonde woman (who even somewhat resembles Marilyn Burns) is basically tricked off the road by a vicious disgusting killer. It's mainly one big chase scene as she fights for survival against impossible odds and even finds herself in his dirty disgusting shack (that is rather similar to Leatherfaces). It's really rather exciting and disturbingly serious and to the point (at under an hour run time) and really it is one of the more shocking made-for-tv things I've ever seen. I'm amazed this isn't mentioned more, very cool and if there were more in the series I'd make a point to find them.

Availability:  I don't believe this is on DVD

Retribution (1987)

3.5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: A Supernatural Nightmare of Unholy Terror.
Directed by: Guy Magar
Written by: Guy Magar, Lee Wasserman
Actors include: Dennis Lipscomb, Leslie Wing, Suzanne Snyder
Genre: Horror, Crime
Length: 107 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
What this does have going for it are some extremely creative and disgusting deaths (yay) in a revenge style setting. George Miller (Dennis Lipscomb) is a big unlikeable weenie, wussy to the core until his body is invaded by the spirit of a murdered Gangster hell bent on revenge. The thing is, George seems to gain confidence and even a punky whore girlfriend (even though I have no clue why...he's still a loser) since the possession, it actually bodes rather well for him. The only trouble is that he disappears during sleep time when he turns demonic blue with green eyes (or reverse I can't recall) and does some massive gory kills (hooray for us). Too much time is spent on the romantic angle and too much time is spent getting to know George (he sucks...I get it). It's clearly got a rather low budget feeling to it but the effects are where the payoff is. Maybe not one to go out of the way for, but still worthy for B-movie fans and those who like good deaths.

Availability:  On DVD

The Manitou (1978)

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Evil does not die... It waits to be re-born!
Directed by: William Girdler
Written by: William Girdler, Graham Masterton
Actors include: Tony Curtis, Michael Ansara, Ann Sothern
Genre: Horror
Length: 104 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
You have to see it to believe it (or at least I had to) but I can't imagine anyone watching it twice. Somehow randomly (explanation is for suckers?) a woman ends up with a growth on her neck/back area that contains the fetus of a 400 year old Indian Medicine Man spirit hellbent on revenge. Hilariously this Medicine Man is played by a "Little Person" covered in goo angrily trotting about in a room having a hissy fit (because another Indian was able to temporarily contain him using a circle of ash or something). Tony Curtis is funny as the Psychic boyfriend of fetus Lady who has to get help from another powerful Indian to stop the madness. See most of the time when an Indian Spirit is born from another's body, the "host" dies and Curtis doesn't want his lady friend to die so he's got to try! Surprisingly it's rather dull for much of the film (until the spirit is born) and then after that they didn't really seem to know what to do with it. Kudos to them for coming up with one of the most ridiculous stories I've heard then trying to play it straight though...

Availability:  On DVD

Picnic At Hanging Rock (1975)

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Australia's First International Hit!
Directed by: Peter Weir
Written by: Joan Lindsay, Cliff Green
Actors include: Rachel Roberts, Helen Morse, Vivean Gray
Genre: Drama, Mystery, Horror
Length: 115 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This is a very mysterious film, and if you like clarity and explanation then you may not really dig this film as it's extremely open ended. It's beautifully filmed in Australia around an area called Hanging Rock (though I'm sure the title gave that away). A group of girls from a boarding school on a trip go to picnic at Hanging Rock, but when four girls go independently exploring, only one returns. At some point while climbing three of the girls seem nearly possessed as they don't seem to respond to the fourth girl's cries. The fourth girl goes running back, and the teacher who came to find them disappeared also. The rest of the film is dealing with the loss from the surviving girls perspective as well as a couple of fellas who knew one of the girls and their obsession with finding out what happened. It's quite fascinating, and although it's frequently mentioned being based upon a true story, it's definitely not. See there was even a mysterious extra chapter that later was written in the novel that actually explains what happened (kind of) for those who absolutely must know (yes I read it).

Availability:  On DVD

Hospital Massacre (1982) aka Be My Valentine Or Else! aka Ward 13 aka X-Ray

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: A young nurse is stalked by a maniac out to avenge a long-ago Valentine's Day humiliation.
Directed by: Boaz Davidson
Written by: Marc Behm, Boaz Davidson
Actors include: Barbi Benton, Jon Van Ness, Charles Lucia
Genre: Horror
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: West Germany

Review:
What Valentine's Day is complete without this bloody little slasher? After a boy leaves a Valentine's card for a snotty little girl who crumples it up and laughs (he sees this from the window) we flash to the future many years later when they are grown. By this point the little girl is played by Playboy model Barbi Benton who has arrived at the hospital for some minor tests. Our angry little boy who has kept a grudge is now a slashing machine in the hospital who has a master plan to keep Barbi there as long as possible....so he can exact revenge! Some of the killings are pretty cool and bloody, the mood is also rather dark and the gleeful killer is rather amusing too. It's just in between killings we aren't offered much more than lame excuses why one needs to stick around the hospital (or watch the film, depends on how you feel). It's also very cheaply made and the ending sequence is shot very darkly and is almost impossible to see. It's got major lows and some highs, but really it's best for a low expectation Valentine's Day viewing (or to look at Benton's boobs...your call!).

Availability:  Never been on DVD but I believe people are selling bootlegs

The Devil's Rain (1975)

3.5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Absolutely the most incredible ending of any motion picture
Directed by: Robert Fuest
Written by: James Ashton, Gabe Essoe
Actors include: Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt, William Shatner
Genre: Horror
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This one is sort of a mixed bag, on the plus side we have Ernest Borgnine as one of the leads of the erm church of the devil. On the con side, the plot is pretty ridiculous, a group of Satanists who have something called "the devil's rain" in a jar (which causes them to melt if broken?). William Shatner plays Mark Preston, a curious fellow investigating what happened to his Mom who turned up dead with blackened eye holes. See it seems that most of the worshippers have blackened eye holes (which is dark glass of some kind hiding the eyes, sort of a cool effect) after joining the cult. The film was overseen by real life Satanic cult leader Anton LaVey which is kinda neat I suppose, perhaps that means some of the rituals are based in fact who knows? The effects are reasonably impressive, especially for something that feels so low budget, and this film also marks the debut appearance of John Travolta (though blink and you will miss him). As far as Satanism movies go, this isn't my favorite but it's still a reasonable offering, I just think the end goes on for way too long. Worth a viewing for fans of trash and devil related films, probably not as bad as it's reputation would suggest.

Availability:  On DVD

Curtains (1983)

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Behind Every Curtain, Someone Is Watching...Something Is Waiting
Directed by: Richard Ciupka
Written by: Robert Guza Jr.
Actors include: Samantha Eggar, John Vernon, Linda Thorson
Genre: Horror, Crime
Length: 89 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Considering this is an '80s slasher starring Samantha Eggar I had expected more. This does have a few memorable moments, mainly involving our killer's weird mask and specifically involving ice skating (you really have to see that part). Some of the plot points are rather interesting too but unfortunately it's too clouded up with tedium. The idea is that Samantha Eggar plays actress Samantha Sherwood who is set to play the role of a crazy person in a production. For authenticity she checks herself into the looney ward, and her agent just leaves her there and tries to recast. She gets herself out, is pretty darned ticked but is especially mad when she learns that a crop of young pretty actresses are all staying together in a house to test for the role she figures is hers. Together all of the actresses roam about the house until slashed up one by one of course (which doesn't happen fast enough). Really it should work better than it did but unfortunately the sum of all of it's parts is only slightly above average.

Availabilty:  Never released on DVD but it looks like people are selling Bootlegs

Blood And Lace (1971)

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: SHOCK after SHOCK after SHOCK as DESIRE drives a bargain with MURDER!
Directed by: Philip S. Gilbert
Written by: Gil Laskey
Actors include: Gloria Grahame, Melody Patterson, Milton Selzer
Genre: Horror
Length: 87 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
This was a rather unexpected treat (not to be confused with Sei donne per l'assassino [Blood and Black Lace]) though clearly a low budget experience. I think the soundtrack was really one of the most comical elements, it's pretty much made up from the free library that they must chose Bugs Bunny music from, wildly inappropriate from scene to scene but always free sounding. The violence was a perk, it starts out with the nice graphic hammering (using the claw end) of two people. Then flash forward to an orphanage (that happens to contain the world's oldest orphans), Ellie is our main character and we follow her as she arrives there as her parents were recently killed. Right from the start we are pretty much made aware that something isn't quite right with this orphanage...not only is it super strict but the woman and handyman running the place seem downright evil! They can't leave, it's full of really stupid rules and by all means...never run away! They even keep the runaways frozen to thaw out and stick in the infirmary when investigated. Even the ending must be seen to be believed! Considering this is a rarely mentioned film it's got a whole lot to offer that exploitation or horror fan nearest you...entertaining to say the least.

Availability:  Not on DVD yet sorry!

Satan's Blood (1978) aka Don't Panic aka Escalofrío

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Carlos Puerto
Written by: Carlos Puerto
Actors include: Ángel Aranda, Sandra Alberti, Mariana Karr
Genre: Horror
Length: 82 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Quite an interesting take on Satanism, thanks Spain! When it started out I figured we were in for another Rosemary's Baby clone, but this was far from that. See this is riddled with nudity, it's got blood and sleaze galore and even an orgy! The idea is that a young couple is stopped on the road by another claiming to know the husband from college...funny thing is that he has no memory of meeting this man before. Before they know it they are on their way out in the middle of nowhere back to this mysterious couple's giant stone mansion. At first things aren't too weird but once we catch the lady of the house biting some sort of entrails in the kitchen we know something is wrong. Other big giveaways include books on satanism and the fact that they don't seem to want to let this couple leave. It's kinda neat because as they informed us before the movie started, they really did do much research into Satanism and a lot of what is in the movie is based around what occurs in real rituals. Well that's what the director (I think) told us anyhow, kinda cool really. It does go places I didn't expect it to and it was rather charming, probably one of the better devil films from the '70s.

Availability:  On DVD

The Spider's Labyrinth (1988) aka The Spider's Nest aka Il Nido Del Ragno

3.5 / 5
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Gianfranco Giagni
Written by: Riccardo Aragno, Tonino Cervi
Actors include: Roland Wybenga, Paola Rinaldi, Claudia Muzi
Genre: Horror
Length: 87 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I feel kind of weird rating this so highly because the first 40 minutes are confusing, strange and sort of boring and hard to sit through. Thing is, the payoff is excellent...I guarantee that if you can sit through the first part of this movie there is some seriously amusing things that happen and the effects are shockingly good! The story is sort of about a Professor who goes to investigate a weird cult and then really strange things start to happen around him. When he starts noticing people around town nearly all seem to have spider "tattoos" and well to say they act strangely is an understatement. I don't wish to give more away but it's one heck of a neat film once it gets going, it's actually kinda creepy and gross! The bad thing is that it's cheaply shot on home video when if it had been shot on film it would probably have looked amazing. Oh well, it's got highs and lows but for a rareish Italian flick that has the tendency to behave as a giallo it's well worth a watch.

Availability:  On DVD

The Sixth Sense (1999)

3.5 / 5
Tagline: "I see dead people"
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
Written by: M. Night Shyamalan
Actors include: Haley Joel Osment, Bruce Willis, Toni Collette
Genre: Drama, Mystery, Thriller, Horror
Length: 107 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Even though I didn't guess what was taking place when I watched this, I still didn't find it amazing. I mean I know that's a big reason why everyone thought this was so cool but I didn't really find it very shocking. That being said this is by far the best M. Night Shyamalan film but I usually hate his work so by that standard this is a vast improvement. The story is about a boy who sees dead people (and yes once in a while the dead people surprise you) but they don't seem to think they are dead so he resorts to talking to a Child Psychologist who tries to help him through his problem. As far as ghost stories go it's not even one of my favorites but I suppose it's effective none the less.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974) aka Kronos aka Vampire Hunter

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: Evil Ends Here.
Directed by: Brian Clemens
Written by: Brian Clemens
Actors include: Horst Janson, Caroline Munro, Shane Briant
Genre: Horror, Adventure
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Pretty amusing entry into the line of Hammer vampire pictures, this one follows a different sort of tale. See the vampires in this actually suck life from their victims and only leave a bit of blood on the side of their mouths. Additionally they prey on young women and when finished, their faces are extremely aged (or rather they each turn to the face of an old man wearing a wig). There is a heroic vampire hunter by the name of Captain Kronos (Horst Janson) fighting the good fight along with a wench he saved and his hunchback assistant. Thing is, Kronos isn't your typical hero, he's very into sexy ladies and he's been known to smoke herbal cigarettes (nudge nudge wink wink) and well he's a different sort of feller. Admittedly the hooded faceless vampire lurking about the woods is rather creepy and the idea is a very interesting one and it has a neat style to it. I also appreciate that it's unlike any of the others from Hammer that I've seen so far and it's very easy to appreciate. It's not their finest but it's far from their worst, a definite one to watch despite the lack of star power.

Availability:  On DVD

Slaughter High (1986)

3.5 / 5

Tagline: Take a Trip Through the Halls of Horror!

Directed by: George Dugdale, Mark Ezra

Written by: George Dugdale, Mike Ezra

Actors include: Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Carmine Iannaccone

Genre: Horror

Length: 91 minutes

Banned: Nope

 

 

Review:

This definitely has a lot going for it, and a lot wrong with it. See the deaths in this slasher are superb...things I've always wanted to see in graphic detail and well done. The acting is laughably terrible for the most part, it's very cheap (minus the effects) and predictable as heck. The good news is, it knows exactly what it is, has a good sense of humor and some serious gratuity. The idea is a recycled one, an April Fool's Day prank played on a nerd by the cool kids goes horribly wrong and the nerd ends up disfigured and wanting revenge. When the cool kids find themselves all invited to a reunion in a deserted area and nobody claims to have sent the invites they start to think maybe something is wrong. Well they know something's wrong when one by one they end up dead in gruesome ways. Were the ending not so stupid I would have awarded this an extra .5 star, but let's face it...it's a classic but only in the sense that it's bad but immensely entertaining.

Availability:  On DVD

The Cremator (1969) aka Spalovac mrtvol

2.5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Juraj Herz
Written by: Ladislav Fuks
Actors include: Rudolf Hrusínský, Vlasta Chramostová, Jana Stehnová
Genre: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I guess this one just wasn't for me...over my head or too artsy or whatever you want to say. I did think the black comedy element was rather amusing, it did give me a few giggles. I can also recognize that it is a rather disturbing portrait really, a Cremator who absolutely loves his job wayyy too much. He also gets in with the wrong crowd and he begins to be obsessed with ridding the world of the Jews. Only trouble his, his family are part Jewish (you see where this is going) and as his dementia grows well let's just say the movie gets crazier. It's extremely dark, the artsy way it's shot seems to be a little too much for me, I found it nearly schizophrenic in places and hard to pay attention too. Unnecessarily obtuse I guess, but I'm sure that is just me as so many love this film. It's depraved sure, but not in a way I find very effective, watch it if you are curious because well I'm in the minority.

Availability:  On DVD

The Black Scorpion (1957)

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: DON'T BE ASHAMED TO SCREAM - IT HELPS TO RELIEVE THE TENSION
Directed by: Edward Ludwig
Written by: Robert Blees, David Duncan
Actors include: Richard Denning, Mara Corday, Carlos Rivas
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Length: 88 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Not bad, okay well it's a sort of half and half really. See all of the talking and the lead-up to the "invasion" are duller than dirt. The characters are absolutely boring and there is a ton of pointless scientific jargon that I dare anyone to pay attention to. It's really like a cheaper less exciting retelling of Them! when it all comes down. After volcanic activity occurs, giant evil black scorpions and other large creatures (like worms and spiders) come out of the earth and begin their attack! The giant scorpion really does resemble the box art (which I love) and the effects are much better than one might think even though they reuse a lot of the same footage. There are at least dueling scorpions, a cavern of danger and several other things to look forward to. It's worth the wait so long as one is patient enough to get to the action over halfway into the film, it's just a shame because it really could have been awesome!

Availability:  On DVD

Don't Answer The Phone (1980)

2 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: He'll Know You're Alone
Directed by: Robert Hammer
Written by: Michael D. Castle, Robert Hammer
Actors include: James Westmoreland, Ben Frank, Flo Lawrence
Genre: Horror
Length: 94 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I do tend to like many movies with instructions in the title, but this was not one of them. It is a sleazy film, I'll give it that, our murderer (who is never kept a secret) is rather evil looking and says many mean things to the women he's torturing. Between acts of violence we have terrible homemade synth music, terrible acting and let's not forget the glue that holds this boring flick together....pointlessness. Whenever we don't have the killer on screen we are watching some stupid unrelated therapy take place, or a woman answer the phone for a radio show or unrelated Police work. It goes out of it's way to try to be nasty which in a way I appreciate but the long pieces of film with only stupid things happening completely ruined any effect it might have had. It's a shame that this couldn't have been made better by someone else because the idea of an evil dude killing people often does work. Watch Don't Go in the House instead, it's sleazier more cruel and exciting all the way instead of this low rent exploitation slop.

Availability:  On DVD

The Girl Who Knew Too Much (1963) aka La Ragazza Che Sapeva Troppo aka The Evil Eye

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: What Does It Want? What Will Satisfy Its Cravings?
Directed by: Mario Bava
Written by: Mario Bava, Enzio Corbucci
Actors include: John Saxon, Letícia Román, Valentina Cortese
Genre: Giallo, Thriller, Horror
Length: 86 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
So this is arguably the first giallo film, and although it's not my favorite it's still pretty darned amusing. It's actually Mario Bava's final black and white film which gives it a sort of class however I hate to say this but I'd rather it were in color. Thing is with gialli films there is often so much garish color and that is a huge tool in many of them. This doesn't rely on that obviously but it does have a good story, some interesting characters and plenty of little twists and even quite a sense of humor. When American girl Nora sees too much (go figure) she ends up being knocked out in near Trafalgar square. After she's taken to hospital she meets a charming Doctor Marcello (John Saxon who is so much younger here than I'm used to) who wants to help her. See the thing she saw was the latest victim of the Alphabet Murderer (killing by last name in order A, B and C are already dead) and she wants to try to solve the crime. Of course things get dangerous and there are surprises around every corner, but it's a pretty engaging little flick really. We do get the gloves, a giant set of stairs, various red herrings and well the stage is pretty well set for everything that followed (though I didn't spot a bottle of J&B...maybe I missed it?). Definitely one to watch though I hate to say I prefer the sleazier titles!

Availability:  On DVD

The Children (1980) aka The Children Of Ravensback

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: ...thank God they're somebody else's!
Directed by: Max Kalmanowicz
Written by: Carlton J. Albright, Edward Terry
Actors include: Martin Shakar, Gil Rogers, Gale Garnett
Genre: Horror
Length: 93 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
After a busload of singing children (from Ravensback hence the alternate title) go through a puff of smoke (or radiation I believe it was supposed to be) and disappear. When they finally do start to turn up they have black fingernails (which means they are zombies), and when they hug their loved ones (which causes the cheap effect of their skin rotting away) death occurs. Some of the "hugging" is even offscreen...pretty lazy really not to mention that when children aren't on screen barely anything happens. Oh and this amused me, the sound they use when the kids are hugging is actually cats in heat hehe. Everything about this film is uber cheap but somehow it's to the point and easy enough to watch despite several bad actors. This is completely scareless, but maybe a slight bit better put together than some Troma features...same category anyhow. At least we are treated to people shooting children...that's always good for a fun time!

Availability:  On DVD

Die! Die! My Darling! (1965) aka Fanatic

4 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: She's One Mean Mother-in-Law!
Directed by: Silvio Narizzano
Written by: Anne Blaisdell, Richard Matheson
Actors include: Stefanie Powers, Talullah Bankhead, Peter Vaughan
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Length: 97 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
Although not the most original idea, it was a bucket of fun thanks to Tallulah Bankhead (in her final role) as a demented religious fanatic called Mrs. Trefoil...seriously awesomely evil performance. Stefanie Powers plays pretty and likeable Pat Carroll who was engaged to Mrs. Trefoil's son Stephen before he died. At Mrs. Trefoil's behest Pat comes to visit her at her house before planning to run off and marry a man named Allan. The only thing is, Pat isn't allowed to leave and it seems that Mrs. Trefoil is completely insane and seems to blame her for Allan's death! Also in this plot here we have Mrs. Trefoil's other son Harry whom she doesn't seem to like as much, and his wife Anna (Man About The House's Yootha Joyce) and also there is the handicapped Joseph (hilariously played by Donald Sutherland). It's not the most eventful film, but the performances make it more than worthwhile plus who doesn't love watching crazy people?
 
Availability:  On DVD

The Most Dangerous Game (1932)

5 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack
Written by: James Ashmore Creelman, Richard Connell
Actors include: Joel McCrea, Fay Wray, Leslie Banks
Genre: Adventure, Thriller, Horror,
Length: 63 minutes
Banned: Finland

Review:
This truly was an experience one won't soon forget, it's filled with excitement, danger and it has one heck of a story! The really amazing thing is that the film is just over an hour long and it was from 1932...it's pretty evil considering. After a boat capsizes a man swims to safety who just happens to be a big game hunter (his companions were mainly eaten by sharks). He ends up on this deserted island well deserted except for the large castle of Count Zaroff...another hunter who has found a new game he loves to hunt. Also involved here are two others who were shipwrecked their earlier including the charming Fay Wray and her brother. It seems that when folks are shown the Count's trophy room they never seem to come back! This really has just about everything in it and never a dull moment to be had.  Highly recommended for anyone, one heck of a high quality flick that is easy to love and has most definitely been highly influential to many.

Availability:  On DVD

What's The Matter With Helen? (1968) aka The Box Step

3 / 5 Feb '10
Tagline: N/A
Directed by: Curtis Harrington
Written by: Henry Farrell
Actors Include: Debbie Reynolds, Shelley Winters
Genre: Crime, Drama, Horror, Musical
Length: 141 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
I kind of hoped for more with this as I really like Shelley Winters and well Debbie Reynolds is pretty amusing too. The two play very best friends who's Sons have been arrested for murder, so they decide to flee for a new life. Adelle (Reynolds) is the talented one, she opens her own dance studio for children and seems to have quite a few singing and dancing numbers. Unfortunately we have to watch plenty of children tap dance and sing entire numbers throughout the film (I could have totally done without this). Helen (Winters) is the more religious and timid creature desperate for Adele's friendship though she pretty much lives in a shell. Things are going swimmingly until Adele meets the man of her dreams and plans to marry him, then we are all wondering....what's the matter with Helen? For long periods of the film nothing much happens, I know they are trying to establish the two women's relationships but it's overly boring. Once Helen starts acting strange things definitely pick up and getting interesting but it's almost too little too late. At least parts of this were worthwhile, and it is rather campy which makes it somewhat entertaining even when it's dull. Not the best film by far but this will definitely appeal to some.

Availability:  On DVD as part of a 2fer with "Who Slew Auntie Roo"