Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tales From The Crypt: Season 2

Episode 7: "Dead Right"
4 / 5
Actors include: Demi Moore, Jeffrey Tambor

This little tale was about a waitress (Moore) goes to a fortune teller that tells her she will be rich soon. Then she then meets a gross fat guy who is rich and assumes that is she marries him that he'll die soon. Of course things don't go exactly as planned...

Episode 8: "The Switch"
4 / 5
Actors include: William Hickey, Kelly Preston, Rick Rossovich

This one is about an old rich man who wants to get the attention of a beautiful young girl (Preston). With his money he bribes a younger more attractive man to switch body parts with him, and soon it gets out of control! Well of course there is a twist here that I dare not ruin, but it was definitely entertaining!

Episode 9: "Cutting Cards"
3.5 / 5
Actors include: Lance Henriksen, Kevin Tighe

This was a silly tale of two gamblers that would stop at nothing to beat one another. They try Russian roulette with no avail, so they decide to play a game of "chop poker" which yes is exactly what you think it might me. Nice and gruesome and entertaining, what more can one want from a tale?

Episode 10: "'Til Death"
3.5 / 5
Actors include: D.W. Moffett, Pamela Gien, Janet Hubert-Whitten

This was about a money grubbing young guy who sees a beautiful girl at a party. He soon learns she's a nasty bitch and that he doesn't have a great chance with her, so he gets a voodoo potion made to persuade her. Of course he uses more than he should with disasterous results!

Episode 11: "Three's a Crowd"
4.5 / 5
Actors include: Dante D'Andre, Gavan O'Herlihy, Ruth DeSosa

This is definitely one of my favorite episodes so far as it had quite a surprise in store! It is about a couple going to a cabin for their 10th anniversary. Only thing is it's owned by the wife's rich ex-boyfriend. Of course the husband overhears some things and gets suspicious and thinks his wife is having an affair. I shouldn't go on but if you are going to check out this show, I'd say this is an episode to go for!

Episode 12: "The Thing From The Grave"
4 / 5
Actors include: Teri Hatcher, Kyle Secor, Miguel Ferrer

This one is about a beautiful model with an abusive boyfriend. At a shoot the camera man starts making eyes at her and he offers her the key to his apartment for safety (because of the abuse from the boyfriend). She shows up and they are very much in love, so he promises to always protect her, but then the abusive guy shows back up in the picture and stuff happens!

Episode 13: The Sacrifice"
3.5 / 5
Actors include: Kim Delany, Kevin Kilner

This one is about an insurance agent who falls for his nasty client's woman. He throws the client off of the balcony so they can be together, but soon finds out that someone across the way not only saw him push the guy, but has pictures. It is a little surprising from there, but still not one of the best episodes.

Episode 14: "For Cryin' Out Loud"
3 / 5
Actors include: Lee Arenberg, Sam Kinison, Iggy Pop

You'd think for a rock episode this would have been a little better, especially since Iggy appears on stage in it (acting oddly like Mick Jagger?). Anyhow the story is about a benefit for the Amazon, and we meet the scheming promoter who plans to take the money and retire. His banker shows up to ask why the money has been withdrawn and demands half, so he kills her and stuffs her in a box. Then his conscious (which is the voice of Sam Kinison unfortunately) won't stop driving him crazy. I hate Sam Kinison (yeah I shouldn't speak ill of the dead) but he is too annoying and that makes the episode unfun to watch sadly.

Episode 15: "Four-Sided Triangle"
3.5 / 5
Actors include: Patricia Arquette, Chelcie Ross

This was one weird duck of a story, Patricia plays a semi-retarded farm worker who is abused by the older folks who run the farm. The Mr. lusts after her and even tries to rape her. The Mrs. becomes suspicious and angry about the situation, and Patricia thinks she's in love with a scarecrow with a clowns face. Yeah it goes on from here and gets even stranger, something to see but not necessarily an awesome episode.

Episode 16: "The Ventriloquist's Dummy"
4.5 / 5
Actors include: Bobcat Goldwait, Don Rickles

This is definitely the best thing I've ever seen the terribly unfunny Bobcat in, but this episode was top notch. It's about a ventriloquist who was really popular back in the day before a fire made him unable to perform so of course he's bitter. Then he's been looked up by a terrible ventriloquist (Bobcat) who adored the performer and was inspired by him. It turns out it there's a little more to the whole thing than this but I'd ruin one heck of an awesome surprise if I told. Watch this one, I doubt you'll regret it.

Episode 17: "Judy, You're Not Yourself Today"
3 / 5
Actors include: Carol Kane

It's a shame they followed such a strong episode with such a weak one, but sometimes that's the way it goes. This one is about a Husband who is quick to aim his gun at outsiders and his Wife who seems desperate for attention from the outside world. When he is away she lets in a make-up saleswoman who happens to be a witch. She manages to switch bodies with the wife, but there is at least another couple twists after that. It just wasn't that exciting but I guess it tried right?

Episode 18: "Fitting Punishment"
4 / 5
Actors include: Moses Gunn, Jon Clair, Teddy Wilson

This one is about a cruel cheap funeral director who's orphaned nephew suddenly shows up. Less than eager to take him in he treats him like crap, sells his shoes and beats him with a crowbar until he cannot walk without assistance. Then he throws a basketball on him to make him fall down the stairs and dies. It gets rather gory and hilarious as revenge is gotten. Definitely one of the more fun and unusual episodes!

Episode 19: "Korman's Kalamity"
3.5 / 5
Actors include: Harry Anderson, Cynthia Gibb, Colleen Camp

This one is about a comic artist from Tales From The Crypt magazine. See the monsters he's drawing seem to be coming to life and an attactive young Police Officer tries to work with him to solve the problem. Thing is that the artist has a bitch of a wife that is driving him crazy, suddenly being able to draw monsters that come to life doesn't seem to bad after all!

Episode 20: "Lower Berth"
3 / 5
Actors include: Lewis Arquette, Stefan Gierasch, John Kassir

Not a very good kind of circus tale, it's about a travelling circus that has a sideshow freak that is ill. Because it's ill they find a replacement Mummy thing which happens to end up mating with the freak which leads to the Cryptkeepers birth. I suppose it's interesting in context for those who want to know more about the host, but personally I didn't really care.

Episode 21: "Mute Witness To Murder"
3.5 / 5
Actors include: Patricia Clarkson, Richard Thomas

This one is about a woman on her anniversary who when staring out a window watches a murder. She becomes catatonic and her husband calls the doctor across the street (who just happens to be the murderer). Will she snap out of it before it's too late? You'll have to watch to find out!

Episode 22: "Television Terror"
4 / 5
Actors include: Morton Downey Jr.

This one is about a tv host who decides to investigate a haunted house, only of course he seems quite skeptical. Soon his camera man is killed and he knows he's in trouble too! The house is haunted by a ghost female who slayed seven men. It's a cute little tale and at least it makes fun of Geraldo's tomb fiasco!

Episode #23: "My Brother's Keeper"
4 / 5
Actors include: Jessica Harper, Valerie Bickford, Jonathon Starck

This is a strange tale of siamese twin brothers who have difficulty getting along. See one likes the symphony, he's tasteful and he's in love with a lady. The other is boorish, rude and disgusting and he seems to be doing everything possible to repel her. Then they learn they can be separated, but things definitely go unexpectedly from there.

Episode #24: "The Secret"
5 / 5
Actors include: William Frankfather, Larry Drake, Stella Hall

We meet a bratty little orphan boy who is adopted by an extremely rich couple. They lock him in a room full of toys and they only feed him sweets. Their butler starts to take a shining to him, and he tries to help him escape before it's too late! See it's really misleading and surprising, but that's why I think it's the best episode I've seen of this show so far, you can't guess what will happen.

No comments:

Post a Comment